Advice on if its worth trying

Former Member

Hi all,

I'm new to this forumn and looking for some advice wether critical or helpful.

I've been in a relationship with girlfriend for 6 1/2 years with two amazing sons. had ups and downs and i've been out of order on a few occasions by flirting with other girls online. This usually happens when we've had a blazing row and can't help myself doing it -but is only once in a blue moon. she is also not the easiest of persons (who is..) and often says she cant stand our sons (even though they're in nursery/school most of the day) and would prefer not to have them.

Recently though i've been trying hard to work things out with her which is difficult due to long and irregular work hours but things have been going well, holiday booked up and thinking of the future. So when i find out that she's been texting someone local behind my back with him sending lurid photos, everything has hit the fan. :banghead:

Now i suspect that it has been going on for 4+ months as i know the person reasonably well. but i cant prove that anything other than the flirting by text and pics has happened. She seems to resent the fact that she's been rumbled and is saying that maybe best to split up.

I'm wanting to make things work and bite the bullet as i've flirted before, although not the same level..so i can't blame her totally. But do i try and make things work out or think what the hell, pay for a new place for her to move into and move on.

I still love her, but don't want to be taken for a ride. And probably unsure about life without her..better the devil you know.......So any bright ideas much appreciated..and yes i know i probably had it coming...

Former Member

i think because you have children, its worth at least trying to make things work. Sometimes even if there is love there, the stresses of family life and work can hide it a bit/a lot. Maybe a temporary break would do you good where you had more space to decide if thatswhat you really want, or it may be worth trying relationship counselling http://www.relate.org.uk/

Former Member

john b wrote: »

Hi all,

I'm new to this forumn and looking for some advice wether critical or helpful.

I've been in a relationship with girlfriend for 6 1/2 years with two amazing sons. had ups and downs and i've been out of order on a few occasions by flirting with other girls online. This usually happens when we've had a blazing row and can't help myself doing it -but is only once in a blue moon. she is also not the easiest of persons (who is..) and often says she cant stand our sons (even though they're in nursery/school most of the day) and would prefer not to have them.

Recently though i've been trying hard to work things out with her which is difficult due to long and irregular work hours but things have been going well, holiday booked up and thinking of the future. So when i find out that she's been texting someone local behind my back with him sending lurid photos, everything has hit the fan. :banghead:

Now i suspect that it has been going on for 4+ months as i know the person reasonably well. but i cant prove that anything other than the flirting by text and pics has happened. She seems to resent the fact that she's been rumbled and is saying that maybe best to split up.

I'm wanting to make things work and bite the bullet as i've flirted before, although not the same level..so i can't blame her totally. But do i try and make things work out or think what the hell, pay for a new place for her to move into and move on.

I still love her, but don't want to be taken for a ride. And probably unsure about life without her..better the devil you know.......So any bright ideas much appreciated..and yes i know i probably had it coming...

IMO - there is nothing wrong with flirting... Sending dodgy pictures back and forth with somebody your partner knows reasonably well, now that is a different kettle of fish.

Former Member

i wouldnt even bother playing the "whos done the worst" game.

Its all flirting to different degrees and youre both in the wrong there. If its a case of one-upmanship still when youre actually at the point of thinking of leaving, then you may as well pack your bags now.

Things werent right. Are you gonna try and make them better? Is it possible?