Granddad dying

Former Member

He died 3 months ago, and I'm really struggling to get over the fact that he's gone. I read texts from that day expressing symphy (sp) and I feel like I'm going to cry. There has been no final goodbye, as I couldn't make his funeral, and feel bad enough about that, but he's buried in Cornwall, and I live in East Sussex nearly, what with uni, work and life generally I couldn't get down to see him.

I wasn't that close to him, but I'm really struggling to get over the fact that he is dead, he won't be coming back, and that I should've been more nicer to him- called him more often, though of him more positively. It's just hurting.

Former Member

your-babe wrote: »

He died 3 months ago, and I'm really struggling to get over the fact that he's gone. I read texts from that day expressing symphy (sp) and I feel like I'm going to cry. There has been no final goodbye, as I couldn't make his funeral, and feel bad enough about that, but he's buried in Cornwall, and I live in East Sussex nearly, what with uni, work and life generally I couldn't get down to see him.

I wasn't that close to him, but I'm really struggling to get over the fact that he is dead, he won't be coming back, and that I should've been more nicer to him- called him more often, though of him more positively. It's just hurting.

My grandfather died a few months back as well. Just try concentrate on your best memories of him. He wouldn't want you to feel bad! *Hugs* And still doesn't I'm sure! x

Former Member

Thankyou. Not quite sure what's going on in my mind, I wasn't this upset or low when he passed away

Former Member

I feel for you *hugs* my nan died over two years ago but sometimes I still have really bad days being upset and missing her. I think it is normal and I think as you grow up and become more independent you begin to think about the relationship you would have had if they were still around now and the things you would be doing to see them etc. and it is really hard.

I was really really close to my nan but even when I've lost other relatives that I wasn't that close to - and dare I say, didn't even like that much - there have been times where I've felt kind of withdrawn, thinking about the finality of it all and everything. A lot of the time you are able to get on with life not thinking about these things and just accepting them as fact, but other times it really hits you (even when its people you were never close to) and all you can really do is just ride through it.

Hope you feel better soon x

Former Member

Thankyou, that makes a lot of sense actually.

Former Member

I find not thinking about it helps :thumb: everyone dies, and mourning is normal, but its too easy (for me) to upset myself by keep going over it in my mind. But this is obviously for me later on down the line where there is no purpose served to continuously remind myself of the pain etc.

Former Member

Awww (hug) my grandma died a few weeks back, I am gutted. We was close, I used to see her once a week and talk on the phone. But at least she's with my grandad, and I'm so gald I had my baby when I did. She got to meet Ruby, and she was so in love with her! She used to call her 'my little bit of sunshine'

Just think of the good times, and that your grandad will be looking down on you:) Im sure you grandad will understand about the funeral - I didnt go to my grandmas, we was due to go on holiday a few days before, and I know she would of wanted me to go on holiday with Ruby.

Former Member

you could write it all down, how u feel, perhaps as a letter to him but never post it.
there are also bereavement counsellors out there that you could go and talk to, if it gets too much. my doctor gave me a leaflet with names of people i could talk to when a bunch of people i knew kept passing away in a small amount of time.. tis an option anyway.
*hug*

Elena

Hi there :wave:

I'm really sorry to about your Granddad passing away. It's always horrible to lose someone, regardless of how close you are to them.

I know it's easier said than done, but I agree with everyone who has posted. Please try and focus on the good times the two of you had. It's difficult not to I know, but getting too caught up on what might have been won't change anything - it'll just bring you down. I'm sure he loved you very much and would hate to see you unhappy.

To help you through this difficult time, we have some useful information on dealing with death on TheSite.org that you might want to check out. As nutter mentioned, you might also find it helpful to speak to a bereavement counsellor. CRUSE is a service offering support and guidance for anyone dealing with death, and RD4U is similar, but specifically for young people. Your GP should also be able to point you in the direction of some good support.

I really hope you feel better soon.

Take good care of yourself.

S x

Former Member

Thankyou so so much for all the replies, they're really appreciated. I'm looking at those links, and the advice and experiences are really useful. Thnakyou again.