I dont want to go on a Girl's Weekend away....

Former Member

I booked it with my friends months ago. And at the time of booking I said I wasnt sure if I would enjoy the event. The weekend starts on Friday and I have serious cool feet. Its a Disco weekend at Butlins, and I'm much more at home in the local pub!! I also worried about leaving my children for 4 days as my baby daughter is only 11 months.

I have tried to discuss if with my friends about not going - but they werent happy and said I will enjoy it when I get there.

WHAT SHALL I DO???

Former Member

Is it possible for you to go for just the Friday night instead of the whole weekend? Then at least you've seen your friends and explained you want to get away earlier because of your baby.

Former Member

Maybe. I'll try talking to them again.

I'm not the only one of my friends with children. 3 out of the 4 of us going have children. However, myself and my husband do not like leaving our children - so basically take them with us everywhere we go. We also work around our children - so they never have to go to any form of childcare/nursery. This is our choice - but something we believe in strongly. However, my friends have their children in nurseries for most of the week. They therefore find it difficult to understand why I dont like leaving them - and why I'm not looking forward to a break from the children.

Former Member

Are you going to be quite far? I take it you're not close enough to drive home and go back? If it comes down to the fact that you don't want to go, they can't force you, they might be a bit disappointed for not seeing you but if you're not going to be happy all night/weekend then for you it's not really worth it.

Former Member

I ended up going and totally hating it, so I came home on saturday morning!!

My so called friends havent phonex/texted me since.

Former Member

To be fair, they were probably having fun and so too busy to text/call you.

Former Member

And as it's only Monday they are probably recovering after getting back.

Former Member

It's difficult for other people to understand how you feel sometimes, especially if they don't mind leaving their children occasionally. I am sure they will contact you soon, if not why don't you send a text to say you hope they arrived home safely and the rest of the weekend was good?

I don't have any but I understand that you want to be with them. It was a lot to ask that you left your children for the first time for a whole weekend although my personal opinion is that it might do you good to get used to spending time with your partner every now and again and leaving the kids with a responsible and trusted adult.

The kids would probably enjoy having someone different around, maybe a grandparent, aunty or uncle ? Then when nights away are suggested you would feel happier to go knowing the kids are enjoying themselves and you can too. Also it can be a good time for children to bond with the parent left at home taking care of them if special activities are planned.

My grandparents had me every weekend from my being a baby and I have to say I had a very strong relationship with them both and miss them dearly. Kids can get a lot out of spending time with people other than their parents and it means you get a break and get to recharge your batteries.

Former Member

They probs dont understand, have they got kids?

My friends are always asking to come out on town (bless them, they are the best mates) but I dont like leaving my baby. When she was 6 weeks old they dragged me out, saying I deserve it, and although at first I wasnt sure, I loved it! I go out, but not every weekend like them!!

Maybe text them and tell them that you was missing your kids, aksing them if they had a nice time??

Former Member

Yeah I no wrote: »

They probs dont understand, have they got kids?

3rd post down. Three out of the four people that were going have kids.

Former Member

Maybe there a bit older than 11 months?

Former Member

g_angel wrote: »

3rd post down. Three out of the four people that were going have kids.

Shame on me for skim reading!


Some people dont mind leaving their kids, my mate let her mum and dad take her baby on holiday for a week, I wouldnt!

Former Member

I dont object to the principle of leaving my children for a night or two with a trusted responsible adult. And I know I should work harder on my relationships with my husband and friends. But I still find it difficult because I generally dont leave them EVER!!

And with regard to my so called friends I have tried to call and text them but they dont wanna know. Its wednesday now - surely thats enough time to recover from even the messiest weekend!

Former Member

gorgeoushoney1980 wrote: »

I dont object to the principle of leaving my children for a night or two with a trusted responsible adult. And I know I should work harder on my relationships with my husband and friends. But I still find it difficult because I generally dont leave them EVER!!

And with regard to my so called friends I have tried to call and text them but they dont wanna know. Its wednesday now - surely thats enough time to recover from even the messiest weekend!

Fuck them then.

Also, 'principle' is different to actually doing it. I suggest trying some time apart from the kids would be healthy for you. This weekend shouldn't have been so much of a big deal, to be honest, and you may have lost three friends (as little of them as you think of them right now, it was a weekend away, and they don't happen every week for people. Unless you're a celeb).

In another thread you're asking for ideas for nights out etc... Well, you just screwed up a perfectly good one, IMO.

Ok, I don't have kids, and so I am speaking from an uneducated angle here - but all my friends that have children manage to spend some time apart from their kids. They find it necessary to continue functioning normally!

I'm hungover and in a bad mood, but my points are valid.

Former Member

It's a shame that your friends havent contacted you since the weekend, if they are real friends then they make contact and you will make it up.

I know that G-angel was a bit abrupt but as I said in my previous post I do agree with him in respect that you should maybe learn to let go a little and do it gradually.

Your kids will eventually get to an age where they don't care if you are home for a few days and will want to go on school trips and stay over at friends and if you have started to get used to leaving them and them leaving you then you won't be as upset or feel as lonely.

Former Member

i wouldnt leave my babies for 4 days. A couple of nights maybe for my 18mth old, but 4 days is a long long time at that age and even more so at 11mths - its classic seperation anxiety age.

It doesnt hurt to leave your kids occasionally if you trust the person looking after them. I imagine your mates are probably pissed off with you because you said you were going for the 4 days then acted stressy and baled out. If youd had said im just gonna come for a night because of the baby, theyd have probably been more understanding

Former Member

I have now had loads of time to reflect and I think I should have never agreed to go away for the weekend. Regardless of leaving the children, I hate getting drunk, I hate holiday camps/parks, and I'm not a fan of dressing up. I do have fun in my life - but a Disco weekend at Butlins is a million miles away from my idea of fun. However, on a number of occassion I raised the issue with the 'friends' I was going with that I didnt want to go but they said I would enjoy it when I got there.

I know it must of really p**sed them off with me going home early. I accept that. But what was the point of me staying if I was unhappy.

I now accept that I've probably lost three friends, which is sad as I have known them all for over 15 years. But as I explained to them before I left, I would never expect them to do anything which made them unhappy.