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Distance.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi all.
Just a quick thread, but basically i've been with my guy since january/february, he went away to france for 3 months at the end of march and while he was gone alot happened to me. i was very ill with glandular fever and spent a week in hospital, then i developed genital warts from a previous partner which really got me down, and generally things haven't been all that great. while he was in france we were really good at keeping in contact, then when he came home we went back to swansea (where we both go to uni together, how we met..) and things were weird. since seeing him a month ago, i've spoken to him only a handful of times. i thought that seeing as we're both at home for the summer at the moment and we live hundreds of miles apart, the distance was just one of those things and it would be fine when we both go back to uni in september. but last night i get a text saying we need to talk then a phone call basically ending everything between me and him. he says he doesn't feel the same since he got back from france, and that we never talk any more bla bla, which is very true. i know we're both to blame for this, but i am absolutely gutted. i don't know what to do with myself. he said that we'll see what happens in september when we both get back to uni, but i don't think i can cope with a month of waiting and not knowing. i'd rather know if it is or isn't going to work than waiting around to find out. the thing is, when we're at uni we're great together. it's literally just the distance and the fact that our home lives are very very different. i can tell this is going to be a very long month for me.. :crying: plus i have fallen head over heals for him, which doesn't make this any easier. and the thought of seeing him with another girl when we're back at uni makes me very upset.
sorry i just wanted to get it all out.
thanks.
Just a quick thread, but basically i've been with my guy since january/february, he went away to france for 3 months at the end of march and while he was gone alot happened to me. i was very ill with glandular fever and spent a week in hospital, then i developed genital warts from a previous partner which really got me down, and generally things haven't been all that great. while he was in france we were really good at keeping in contact, then when he came home we went back to swansea (where we both go to uni together, how we met..) and things were weird. since seeing him a month ago, i've spoken to him only a handful of times. i thought that seeing as we're both at home for the summer at the moment and we live hundreds of miles apart, the distance was just one of those things and it would be fine when we both go back to uni in september. but last night i get a text saying we need to talk then a phone call basically ending everything between me and him. he says he doesn't feel the same since he got back from france, and that we never talk any more bla bla, which is very true. i know we're both to blame for this, but i am absolutely gutted. i don't know what to do with myself. he said that we'll see what happens in september when we both get back to uni, but i don't think i can cope with a month of waiting and not knowing. i'd rather know if it is or isn't going to work than waiting around to find out. the thing is, when we're at uni we're great together. it's literally just the distance and the fact that our home lives are very very different. i can tell this is going to be a very long month for me.. :crying: plus i have fallen head over heals for him, which doesn't make this any easier. and the thought of seeing him with another girl when we're back at uni makes me very upset.
sorry i just wanted to get it all out.
thanks.
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Comments
It sounds like this guy means an awful lot to you, and that you've been pretty devastated by his phone call. Long distance relationships aren't easy and - even when you've been close to someone in person - the distance can mean you can drift apart.
You've written that he's said, "we'll see what happens in september when we both get back to uni", but that you're not sure how you can wait for a month to know how he feels. Is going to visit him in person a possibility? Sometimes, by seeing someone face-to-face, you're better able to judge whether the spark is still there.
If he's unwilling or unable to see you, then you might need to make the decsion about whether you're willing to wait. Hard as it may seem initially, making the decision to tell yourself that the relationship is over may be the best way to move on with your life.
Whatever you decide to do, please take extra care of yourself over the next month. While you might not feel up to much, eating well, sleeping well, exercising and generally looking after yourself will help you you deal with what’s happened. It's also a good idea to keep in touch with your other friends, and go out and have fun with them when you can. Not only will it help take your mind off your relationship issues, taking time out might give you a different perspective on the matter.
Wishing you all the best.