If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
Knowing people on TheSite in real life
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I know this may come out a bit wrong or whatever but I'm getting so fed up of it.
I'm dating wheresmyplacebo. As some of you may know, he was previously seeing Twisted_Trinity. That's all fine and well, except for several reasons we have a very strained relationship with each other. They know that this is my username on here, and I know I could change it but, I'd still know who they were and it makes me feel very uncomfortable posting my problems on here, or in fact even visiting this site, especially when I have problems relating to my relationships with either of them.
Anyway, this weekend the two of them are going on holiday with some friends without me. Partly because my 'rents no-goed it, and partly because it was originally going to be wheresmyplacebo and his 2 best mates. Then one of the mate's girlfriends joins in, and then so does TT.
This doesn't best please me, not least because of an indiscretion between them when I first started seeing him.
I was just about keeping things together until I saw TT's post about going away with him. Seeing as she A) Knows full well how I feel about this and
Knows I'm a member on here, I would've thought she would've had the decency not to wave it in my face here.
Would just like to know how other people cope with knowing people IRL as well as on TheSite. Thought I'd try to keep this thread having a point instead of going into a personal rant. I'm saving that for the counsellor I'm going to try to see because like I said, my problems aren't safe here.
xXx
I'm dating wheresmyplacebo. As some of you may know, he was previously seeing Twisted_Trinity. That's all fine and well, except for several reasons we have a very strained relationship with each other. They know that this is my username on here, and I know I could change it but, I'd still know who they were and it makes me feel very uncomfortable posting my problems on here, or in fact even visiting this site, especially when I have problems relating to my relationships with either of them.
Anyway, this weekend the two of them are going on holiday with some friends without me. Partly because my 'rents no-goed it, and partly because it was originally going to be wheresmyplacebo and his 2 best mates. Then one of the mate's girlfriends joins in, and then so does TT.
This doesn't best please me, not least because of an indiscretion between them when I first started seeing him.
I was just about keeping things together until I saw TT's post about going away with him. Seeing as she A) Knows full well how I feel about this and
Knows I'm a member on here, I would've thought she would've had the decency not to wave it in my face here.Would just like to know how other people cope with knowing people IRL as well as on TheSite. Thought I'd try to keep this thread having a point instead of going into a personal rant. I'm saving that for the counsellor I'm going to try to see because like I said, my problems aren't safe here.
xXx
0
This discussion has been closed.
Comments
I know a few people off TheSite in real life, and it's never caused any problems before. I see no real reason why it should either.
One of my closest friends is from here, but we dont talk about certain things on/off here (PM's are a godsend sometimes)
There are certain things I don't post about in case people see them who I don't want to, but not many tbh.
You might not like what I'm saying, but I think whatever is going on, or whatever has gone on, it's sometimes better to deal with, with your partner as a team, than bringing a third party back into it. I don't know the other side to the story and I don't like talking about people as if they're not there, but TT is not in a relationship with you and wheresmyplacebo and it might be worth discussing the boundaries you both want to set i.e. either going on holidays together with ex-partners/lovers etc or not at all if it's going to be this difficult for you. Yes, she's going on holiday with him, but he has also made the choice to go on holiday with her. Works both ways. Hope you find some resolution either way
I know a few people from the site, keep in contact with g_angel mostly. I deal with it by living on the other side of the river
I thought as much myself. I knew I shouldn't post things on here as it wouldn't be productive. Glad it works well for other people knowing people on and off TheSite.
This is probably my last ever post, so bye.
xXx
I don't know anyone off here in real life. I find it a wierd and for me, personally a difficult concept to grasp as I use this forum as my escape and in particular, a few people on here who I text/msn/email/pm etc. I need to get a lot better in myself before I have the strength and self confidence to meet these people in real life. Although one day, I will.
i agree with this, its reasonable
I have already a good, full and satisfying relationship with friends I already know IRL without wishing to become involved with anyone on this board, or, at least until I get to know them very thoroughly indeed. This is because IRL I am a deeply shy person and would embarrass and probably dismay the other person for running away at being met. And because of my immaturity, irresponsibility and stupidity a couple of years ago in meeting someone off the internet and what ensued, I am not a trusting person.
Poppi
I've met a couple of the finest dudes from here who lives close to me, but we aint that close, that would cause problems on here. Never say never, but don't think I would like any of my partners/friends to know I post on here - as I like being able to vent here about somethings, I may not want them to know about.
So I hope things get better for you and try and discuss it more with your bf. Like a couple people already suggested
i dunno, sometimes you really need to get things like this out in the open. i hope everyone now knows how each other feels about it and noones just assuming anything anymore. I think the area of staying friends with exes is a bit of a minefield and it would take an incredibly laid back person to just be fine with their partner going on holiday with an ex but without them.
And I'm friends with a handful of people from here, but as they are over in the UK ... I will be friends with them IRL when I go over next year
xXx
I personally find it a bit awkward because on here I like to just open up about issues and I'm finding more these days (although, I tend to just ignore my feelings
It's all very well when its just friendly and chatty but its when like in your case it does start getting personal that there becomes a bigger and bigger conflict.
I agree. I did meet up IRL with someone from here and we dated a short while but now I find it preferable that people I know IRL on a day to day basis don't see what I post. Like someone other people said before I see it more as an escape. Rightly or wrongly I think I'm more open here than elsewhere and sometimes I go back and read an old post and find it embarassing. Although at the time that is how I was truely feeling.
Even though the people on this message board are amazing at giving advice if I had my boyfriend or someone like that on here I would probably find another messageboard to post any problems on and just talk generally bollox on here.
Anyway I hope things work out for you. I've had arguements with people from here about stuff in real life and it's mostly because we all have our wires crossed! So I definitely think it's good you got things out in the open
I'm so dozy I know
In Real Life
D'oh!! Excuse m'moi. I never could keep up with all the abbreviations
Same here. And I learnt the hard way to be careful what I do post on here.
We're married for gods sake!
I've met loads of people off here (more than I can actually count) and I'm good friends with lots of them. I dont have any real issues discussing my problems on here.
Airing dirty laundry on here is never good though.
And I disagree :P I don't think she made this post to cause hassle.
I don't understand why everyone is saying she shouldn't have posted it, just because it is about regular posters? Fair enough maybe mentioning names wasn't a good idea but they both would have known it was her anyway.
Everyone behind their screen is real - yes. And I don't doubt that its real emotions behind the words posted here, and that real friendships come about from places like this. Not at all. Places like this are what people make of them, definitely.
But it is diferent from what happens away from the screen. This is artificial. You are here cause you chose to. It's less spontanious and impulsive than even going for a walk in broad daylight with a friend in the neighborhood. I do find it important to keep that distinction.