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Fed Up Of Being Lonely
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi everyone.
I'm in my early 20's and I've been single now for almost two years, it will be two at the end of next month. That was my only ever relationship. It's now really getting to me that theres nothing going on in my love life. In those two years I've not been on a date or anything. The most I've got is a random snog in a bar when I've been drunk and thats rare as well. Its happened three times since I've been single.
I just feel really lonely, especially when all my housemates almost constantly have their other halves round. I'm happy for them but it just makes me want to have someone to share things like that with.
It's not as if I'm socially inept, i have plenty of female friends. If I've ever liked them as more than a friend, i always get the 'Oh you're such a good friend but...'
I don't really meet people. I don't really know anyone outside my uni course and I just can't approach randoms in bars.
I should have a job in a few months in a city rather than in the small town I'm at uni in. I'd like to think it'll change then and i'll have a chance to reinvent myself but i just can't see a massive change happening.
I don't know what to do.
I'm in my early 20's and I've been single now for almost two years, it will be two at the end of next month. That was my only ever relationship. It's now really getting to me that theres nothing going on in my love life. In those two years I've not been on a date or anything. The most I've got is a random snog in a bar when I've been drunk and thats rare as well. Its happened three times since I've been single.
I just feel really lonely, especially when all my housemates almost constantly have their other halves round. I'm happy for them but it just makes me want to have someone to share things like that with.
It's not as if I'm socially inept, i have plenty of female friends. If I've ever liked them as more than a friend, i always get the 'Oh you're such a good friend but...'
I don't really meet people. I don't really know anyone outside my uni course and I just can't approach randoms in bars.
I should have a job in a few months in a city rather than in the small town I'm at uni in. I'd like to think it'll change then and i'll have a chance to reinvent myself but i just can't see a massive change happening.
I don't know what to do.
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Comments
Just dont go for the total reinventing of yourself, as pretending and trying to be something your not, doesnt normally doesnt work well.
Think of the move as a chance to reboot rather than upgrading, if that makes sense
Yet you twist when these people you have talked to, message you on facebook and you were asking for polite ways to say "f**k off"
Back to the original post, id also advise to not sit in your room listening to smiths. Do though as tinkler says and get yourself out there. Always take your drink in consideration, but dont drink if you dont want to.
I don't think you understand the fact i currently live in a small town. My uni course was an a 9 to 5 thing so i only really got to know people on my course. Now half of them have left. Because theres so few of us partys dont tend to happen. I've met people at parties when they have occured but not like *that*
And some would say drinking over a certain level makes me worse not better.
Its ok Tinkler is a person who has money and influence listed as his top priorities in his life.
You dont have to drink to have a good time, or make yourself more confident.
He needs to know people first...
Off-topic, why do so many (usually sleazy) guys have greasy ponytails? It is seriously not attractive to most girls.
I do understand our priorities are different, but its a bit of a shame being so dismissive. I am not saying you should hook up with these people if you are not attracted, and not saying either that you should try to solve 3rd world debt with them. But if a person cracks a joke whilst you're at the bar or something and tries to make light conversation it can often be quite amusing, and add a bit to the night. Even if its just for a couple of minutes. And once you get bored you just say 'better get back to my friends, but have a good night' and leave them at it.
Don't know, I just like talking to strangers, makes things a bit more interesting. Even if they're not straight out of the latest Vogue magazine.
Firstly look at West Cornwall on a map. Secondly Taxis cost a fortune. And thirdly I'm at University hundreds of miles from where i went to school. And No I don't I have a group of friends i stay in touch with and meet with whenever I'm back in town and its great thanks.
Yeah, but this guy isnt wanting to just hook up, that would probly in the morning make him feel more lonely than he was before!
1. You're at university. There's hundreds (and probably thousands) of single girls there. Why confine your social circle to people doing your course - go join a society or three, there's tons out there where you can meet cool new interesting people. So easy to meet people in society gatherings where its normal to talk to people you don't know - and you'll have the same interests.
2. West Cornwall. For fuck's sake you're at very most 30 mins away from the coastline. Go get a cheap bus to Newquay, or Penzance, or Falmouth for the weekend where there's plenty of friendly people on the coast by day and the clubs by night. Newquay's notorious as one of the most 'rampant' places in the country, pop into a bar/club and you'll have girls approach you, its much more chilled out there. Why not go over the summer with some uni mates and enjoy a cheap weekend on the coast.
You may give me excuses why the above 2 options can't happen, but they're just example suggestions of how if you're not happy with something, you can easily change things!
As opposed to you starting threads as you have done in the past, which have been quite inciteful towards the general stream of people in here. You have been more than aware of it, and then you go on a rampant crusade because people do not agree with you?
How is it any different.
Its also not that easy for people to just pick themselves up and get themselves out there like yourself.
:yes:
The Doctor: No matter where you live have you thought about voulenteering or evening classes/weekend courses. You will meet people with similar interests. Freinds of friends can work as well, but dont get your friends to set you up on blind dates! You need to do little things to improve your confidence and it will get better from there.
I've been single for long periods without any attention before and then someone come out of the blue and changed it.
Yeah it might be hard to break certain patterns, but there's not much room to complain if you're not willing to even try.
And the other 50% of uni students, are you implying that half of students that are not involved in activities are socially inept?
And while it is wrong to take petty digs at people, its also wrong for people to come in here and continually boast, make people feel small and that they are living their lives wrong, and are incomplete people because they feel they dont like the shallow things in life.
Touche
That was not what he said and you know it. T
here have been a few issues where I've thought that Tinkler has come across like a twat, but I find it as bad when people are slaying everything he says for the sake of it.
His advice was good advice, and I think that instead of trying to find holes then maybe we should let the OP know that its a good source to start off with.
At least that's my opinion.
The amount of times I have words put in my mouth, allegations and completely incorrect assumptions by people like you on this site is ridiculous and I'm considering leaving. In this thread I have done nothing but give advice I think is genuinely useful - not once have I 'boasted' here about my own methods of meeting people, just ways I think are good for OP to find people. I don't see a thing 'shallow' whatsoever about university societies and weekends on the coast, but what the fuck ever.
And if you want girls, then don't necessarily limit yourself to pubs and clubs. females can be met anywhere, if you think about it. if you're in your uni's library, why not try talking to some girls there? Or join a gym and chat with some nice girls there?
And it's a good opinion. :yes: ALTHOUGH - I have edited your (edited) quote Tinkler - there's no need to stoop that low.
Lol and I partially agree with what Tinkler says about avoiding girls you aren't attracted to. Don't be mean but don't be over friendly otherwise they'll follow you around the whole night and cramp your style!
www.twenty4-seven.co.uk
I was in plenty of societies during my undergrad, but my course this year has been so intense i just havn't had a chance to join societies. The unis small too so there isnt much going on and now its the summer anyway so its veeery quiet. But i'll take everything on board though perhaps save it for when i move to London or wherever when i get a job. Its a bit more active there. I should point out Im fine talking to people when they approach me im just got very good at doing it myself!