Are all relationships doomed???

Former Member

Hi Guys

Ok so i am a bit of a Pessimist at the moment as i have just come out of a relationship but i just feel like, what is the point??? I am 26 years old, am i realistically going to fall in love and be with that person for the next 30-40 years??? What is the point in getting to know someone and trying so hard to make it work for it just to all end in tears! Why do relationships change so much, why cant they just stay how they are in the first 2-3 months all the time!!???

I have had 3 relationships already, how many more times do i have to go through this before i find the "one" I am just sick of it to be honest. I look at my friends who have been in 5-6 years relationships and they have houses and i know its horrible but what are the odds that they will still be with that person in 10 years? We put all that effort in and its like why???

I am not depressed or anything and if i am honest i know that the last guy i was with just wasnt meant to be but the thought of meeting someone again and opening my heart to them and trusting them to be let down again is just something i cant bare to think about, i am honestly considering becoming a player lol at least that way i wont get hurt.......

Anyways just having a rant, any thoughts???

XXXXXXXXXXX

Former Member

To me, you are taking things WAY to seriously. Shit happens, things change - in the long run, you take the good times with the bad times.

Nothing lasts forever, and I am quite glad of that. Just enjoy the good times whilst they are there.

Former Member

it's instincts. You want to stick you wee wee in a girls foo foo and you want it, because nature tells you you want it.

There might not be any reason at all, except for procreating and put your seed to life.

That's the whole point.

/e: Try to see it from this point of view: You wouldn't know what a nice, healthy, fulfilling relationship is, if you hadn't had the crap ones. yea it's like g_angel said. Those things happen, just take them as they are and live with it. Nobody has a perfect life from day 1 on.

Former Member

oh honey, Im in my third long term relationship, ive been married and divorced before, but it took me till i was 29 to actually find "the one" that just feels right.

It will happen. There will be someone for you. Just be yourself!

Former Member

Yeah i guess you guys are right, the thing is i am quite glad to be single again as i have been in relationships for the past 7 years and quite like the idea of just worrying about me, i think i am just going through that stage of evaluating all my relationships, i do pick some right wronguns lol guys with tons of baggage!!!!! hehe

Hell at least i aint bitter and still do believe in love, think i just need a time out xxxx

Former Member

The answer to the question is - probably.

But what is the alternative? Fancy spending the rest of your life entirely cut off from human contact?

Former Member

StrubbleS wrote: »

/e: Try to see it from this point of view: You wouldn't know what a nice, healthy, fulfilling relationship is, if you hadn't had the crap ones..

Thats really really true. I feel so much more grateful and lucky to have what i do now because i have had shit ones to compare it to

Former Member

Well I guess so. Unless you don't planning on dying. Just enjoy it while it lasts. Would you rather have all of the good times if it means you have to have to bad times too, or would you rather go through life experiencing neither?

Former Member

You can’t expect a partner to be the constant source of your own happiness but at the same time you need to keep communications up like for after you’ve had a disagreement. Or maybe you were expecting too much from the other person which caused your relationship to burn out. Or not building your relationship on a firm foundation based around your faith or how you intended to grow together, and face adult issues and to discuss them, work them through in your everyday lives together. Such relationships have to be nurtured. And enjoyed to the full.

Look back at what triggered the breakdown of your past relationships. See if there is a pattern to why you split up. Then next time before you embark on a relationship remember your downfalls.

Poppi

Former Member

I think it's pretty normal to feel like that after a breakup. You'll change your attitude when you find someone else.

Former Member

g_angel wrote: »

To me, you are taking things WAY to seriously. Shit happens, things change - in the long run, you take the good times with the bad times.

Nothing lasts forever, and I am quite glad of that. Just enjoy the good times whilst they are there.

Indeed :yes:

Add to the mix that people are more selfish these days spells doom and gloom for most relationships.

Former Member

No, relationships aren't necessarily doomed, but I think the chance is pretty high for that to happen anyway. I agree with what people here saying about being more self-centered. When most people are more conserned about self-realization and personal benefits, it's easy to see why most marriages/long term relationships don't last in the end.

Former Member

Hi

I totally agree with you. I have 3 long term failed relationships behind me and I am in another realtionship and that is goign down the scrap heap to.
Like you I think what is the point as is ther the one out there for me, what is this the 'ONE' business anyway. I would have some time out if i were you and just enjoy yourself and not get to involved with anyone, it's a lot easier. Get your own place and just see people, that way they are always on ther ebest behaviour and you can tell them to do one if they start. Realtionships are not what they used to be, peopl do not try as hard at them anymore. They are hard work and unles you are prepaired to put the effort it they just go down the pan. Have fune and be free and live life on an even keel. Then one day someone might come along who you think is really special but take your time with it and don't move in with them as that's when you have to start working at it and the honey moon period goes well out the window.

Smutmyster

Former Member

I do see where you are coming from. It is pretty shit when you put so much effort into a relationship, known it can still fall apart on ya.

But which would you rather have - Take the risk in giving another relationship a chance? Or never letting yourself fall for someone who wants to fall for you?

It sucks when it don't work, but damn, it feels good when it does work for those wee moments that makes us appreciate life so much more. Even if it might only lasts for so long.

Okies, you got me. I'm an aul softie when it comes to soppy shit like that. But I donnie care

Former Member

good times can last if you nweed each other enough.