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Going on holiday and have bad self harm scars on arm,

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Well basically, my bf wants to go on holiday with me and its all very exciting etc
but im really thinking about saying i dont want to go because i have really bad raised scars on my arm from when i used to self harm, my bf doesnt care about them he says he doesnt even notice them - but i do they make me cover up all the time and i know that my parents would probably flip if they knew about them i have had them for about 3 years and have treated them with bio oil and scar patches on and off.

what i want to know is do you think its a good idea that i say no i dont want to go on holiday to my bf because i am very self consious about my scars and i know that i will spoil the holiday because i will be so hot and not want to do anything but stay in doors and hide - like i do here in the summer (when its hot)

x

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think that if your boyfriend loves you he'll respect whatever decision you make. however, i also think that your scars are nothing to be ashamed of and you shouldn't let them hold you back. there's no need to hide, people might look but you should try not to let it worry you because you'll never see them again and once they've looked once and seen it they won't look again. ask yourself, if you didn't have the scars, would you want to go? if the answer is yes then if it was me i would go for it. don't let your problems hold you back any longer.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just to clarify, are your parents invited along too?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would say that you shouldn't give up the opportunity to go away with him just because of the scars - however maybe instead you could suggest going somewhere not so hot or later in the year - so that you don't have to feel like you have to strip off and expose your scars which your not comfortable about. You could always develop a sudden yearning to learn how to ski or for a city break to venice which is horrible in summer orr to iceland where it never gets hot

    Also in the nicest possible way you are going to have to live with your scars for the rest of your life and what a better place to do it than on holiday where you won't know anyone in the first place or ever see them again - or are you planning on never going on holiday ever again?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just remember that most people worry about what they'll look like when they go on holiday. For most it's because they worry about cellulite or how good they'll look in a bikini.

    So just go for it because if you put it off now, will you then put it off every year? Just remember why you're going on holiday - to have a relaxing and lovely time with your boyfriend and to get away from it all. You shouldn't be worried about what people think if you're never going to see them again! I'm sure no-one will notice anyway.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I used to be extremly paranoid of people 'looking' at my scars when I went swimming, holiday etc, but looking back now, I don't really think people noticed, even though the scars were big and red. I think the only person looking at the scars was me.

    I think the holiday is a fab chance not to miss, do you have a pashmina or something similar that you could shoove in your hand bag just incase you do want to cover yourself up? Or how about a long sleeve kafkan?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I you don't feel like you want them of show then maybe you could rub some sun cream on your arms to cover them up a bit or maybe use some Covermark or Dermablend which will conceal/correct any skin imperfections but it's not cheap and I have never seen it in places like Boots, thought you can get it from Garden.co.uk.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    omg hi

    Thanks chik, i jus feel like people will think im some kind of freak which is why i dont expose myself - well my arms :$

    RandomgirlJust to clarify, are your parents invited along too?

    no theyre not - thank the lord!! hehe
    i went on about them as i havent told them about my scars, to show how i really dont tell everyone i know about them. :$

    Wyetry
    lol good idea but im kind of terrified of doing that sort of stuff.
    your right it seems i am planning never to leave here, even thought i would like to.

    lipsy -
    thanks chick im sure your right about people not noticing. also i dont want it to become an exuse never to go on holiday.

    your-babe
    thanks chick i know you probably feel as i put swimming off havent been since i was 15 because after that i hated it and now i have scars.
    yes i do have a pashmina and a kaftan :) - good thinkin!!


    Makoto
    thanks i will go on the website and have a browse, i have heard of it but never seen it anywhere in the shops so havent bothered.


    i think i will go on holiday and not give a crap if anyone looks at me all funny and cover up if i feel that people are looking at me like a freak.
    thanks everyone :D x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good on you! I know it may not have been an easy decision, so you should be proud of yourself. Have a lovely time!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks your babe :)
    we have booked a week to spain in august im quite excited :)
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