I know this is ridiculous but..

Former Member

Hi all :wave:

I know I am being completely ridiculous and childish but just thought I'd see what you all thought about this..

I have been seeing this guy since February and he is great. I am slowly but surely falling for him At the end of March he went to France on placement for 3 months as part of his uni course. A few days before he went away, I got really ill and ended up having to stay in hospital for a week. I had such bad tonsillitis that my throat closed up and couldn't breathe and then got told I had glandular fever as well. I also had blood poisoning and jaundice while I was in hospital, and my kidneys started to pack up too. So I was pretty ill to say the least. He was great through this, but as he wasn't allowed to come and visit me in hospital I never got to say goodbye before his 3 months away (just to fill you in, at the end of January I fell down some stairs and split my forehead open which has left me with a big scar which is a few inches long on my forehead which I am super self consious about...)

We always used to text and talk on the phone pretty much everyday when he first went to France, but this has slowly died down like I expected it too. Due to my illness I wasn't allowed back to uni so I was feeling pretty sorry for myself for the first few weeks or so. I also fell out with my friends at home due to the fact they didn't seem to care that I was very ill, but my friends at uni were great, was just annoying they were over 200 miles away :rolleyes:

I am now back at uni, but finding it really hard. I have deadlines coming out of my ears and I still don't feel 100% so I'm not feeling all that fantastic. And last week I got told from the doctor that I have genital warts which I caught from sleeping with a guy who I live with 6 months ago which was such a smack in the face, and I now regret it majorly as it is causing more problems that it was worth. I feel like my body is completely giving up on me. I'm only 20 so it's been really getting me down. So generally, I'm feeling really shit about myself and would love it if he was here with me, but obviously he's not.

Now this is the problem..he told me a few weeks ago about this girl who he is on placement with who tried it on with him. She even got in his bed with him and tried it on, which I was fuming about. He told me that he told her where to go, and explained the situation about me etc etc. Which is all good, but I can't help worrying. I keep seeing pictures of them on Facebook together and it gets me really worried. There's loads of photos of them getting drunk together and kissing each others cheeks and hugging etc. They seem to do everything together. I don't think I would normally be so worried about such a thing, but seeing as I'm really unhappy at the moment I can't help but think about it. I'm scared he's going to start preferring her to me, as she doesn't have a scar on her forehead, she doesn't have glandular fever and I bet she doesn't have an STD. She is a hell of a lot more appealing than I am. I'm scared he's going to go off with her and not tell me about it, and obviously I wouldn't know as he is all the way in France. I speak to him every couple of days on the phone but we don't text each other in between. I went to the GUM clinic yesterday about my genital warts and I had some pretty horrible things done to me, and I've been in a lot of pain so generally not feeling too good. I told him all this but he doesn't seen as bothered about me as he used to. I'm so scared he's going to leave me :crying:

Sorry that was a bit of a novel, I didn't know how else to write it.

Former Member

Oh hunny that is certainly some difficult times you've gone through!

Although, I think right now your priority should be your health and getting back on your feet on the full meaning of it, instead of wasting your energy worrying about something you don't really have much control over. I know it must hurt terribly to have this constant fear that your boyfriend may leave you - but in all honesty I think you should be putting all that energy into you instead of him. Concentrate on getting fully recovered, in uni, your friends that do care... and then when he comes back you'll really see where you stand with him, but that's another issue entirely. Right now it should be about you. And if, the worst should come to happen, you'll be much stronger to face it.

The best of luck

Former Member

Aw hun, that's a whole heap of crapola all coming at you in one go so I'm not suprised you feel down.

I think if your fella's still talking to you on the phone all the time, that has a good chance of still working out. Remember that although it's good to share your worries with him, do try to have something positive to say when you do speak to him, to keep him thinking of you as a happy attractive girl, which I'm sure you are, even though you don't really feel like it at the moment.

Your assignment dealines will come, and go and the stress over them will rise and fall away so don't think about the stress, just concentrate on getting them done and it'll all come right in the end.

Genital warts can't be much fun but think positively, you're having treatment, working on healing yourself. I think they're quite common too so there's no need to think of yourself as and STD girl. You're a girl and that's that. You wouldn't feel bad about yourself for having flu, so just because it's an STD, try not to let that get you down.

Your scar will heal and fade a bit over time and I'm sure you're still attractive with it. Scars can add character and your current bloke certainily doesn't seem to mind so....

Chin up. HUGS

end my rant

Former Member

hiya chick..
just dont worry as the more you worry about this other girl more it will make you insecure..
if he still talks to you on the phone then thats a good sign.. so just look after yourself for now as you need to get well..
dont worry about your scar it will fade and you can buy products to make it fade if you are consious about it??
but if you bfs told her about you thats a good sign surley.. i think your just down and want a hug from him to make you feel again??
hope you get well asap chick x

Former Member

You poor thing! Have you spoken to tutors on your course about your illnesses? I had glandular fever a few years ago whilst at school and it will knock your for six for a long time afterwards, you probably tire quickly etc...maybe you could get some extended deadlines? You're going through a massive healing phase and it takes its toll emotionally and physically. I used to burst out crying from exhaustion after a day at school etc...so maybe you need to talk to someone about it.

As for your bf, I understand your difficult situation, and by the way he is in contact and you've felt his support even when you haven't been able to see him then there's obviously something there and I think that you need to trust him. He's taken a risk by admitting this incident with this girl, he obviously thought you'd take his side and believe him so he obviously trusts your relationship. The facebook photo's, I think maybe it's that he's got select friends on his placement and they've decided to overcome whats happened and be mates. However she takes it, I would be inclined to believe him. If you make a big thing of it, you'll create long distance tensions and most likely, after the placement he'll come back and not see her again and it'll be a mere blip in the course of your relationship.

I have an inch and a half long scar in the middle of my forehead as I've managed to split my head open twice! They do fade, no one notices it and if they do all they ask is for the stories behind it. The Harry Potter references have filtered out...:P It certainly doesn't make me any less attractive...personally I like it xxx