bisexual relationships

Former Member

i have just got back with my ex (yes i know normally a bad idea, but we are now in a very different situation and its all good) and i was joking around and asked him if he'd got any since we split up, and he said yes, so i asked him what they were like...

anyway, it turned out that it was 2 guys (one of which i know, because it's a friend of his, and the other was a random at a festival). i knew he was bisexual, but it seems that asides me, he is normally more sexually attracted to guys. which is fine...the only problem is...i'm actually a little turned on by the thought. I'm also bisexual, and would really like to get some female action, which we discussed.

we aren't seriously thinking about this, because we need to become a lot stronger as a couple before we could even consider this but it would be interesting to hear about peoples experiances of relationships with other bisexuals and if they have had other people on the side as well (not deceitfully, but if you have both had another sexual partner occationally that you may or may not have brought into the relationship)

Former Member

I'd be careful if you choose to! Each to their own though. I had a random experience involving someone else with a relationship I was in and for me it ruined it. But hey at least it made me realise teh person wasn't quite who I thought they were!

JsT

lacrymosa wrote: »

I'm confused.

You've got back with your ex?

Were you not engaged to someone the other week:

Keep with the program :rolleyes:

Former Member

JsT wrote: »

Keep with the program :rolleyes:

eastenders?

Former Member

My boyfriend and I had a few encounters with a mutual female friend, both together and separately. If I had the time, I'd be on the lookout for more female friends to play with. Although recently I'd like to start going out on some dates, less physical, but just getting to know new people again.

Generally never had any problems, just the usual keep talking, then talk some more etc

Elena

Hmmm, a tricky one...

Firstly, I think you're absolutely right when you say you need to be very strong as a couple before you start seriously thinking about this. You seem to be happy in your relationship at the moment so you don't want to rock the boat too soon.

If you're still keen on having a bit of 'adventure' after a while though, I think the key (and essential) thing is to just be open and honest with each other (and importantly with anyone you decide to get involved with outside your relationship).

So called 'open relationships' can work really well for some couples but can really damage others. Just make sure you really talk about things and that, if you decide to go ahead, you're both totally comfortable with things (and know the boundaries).

Good luck!

S x

Former Member

wheresmyplacebo wrote: »

eastenders?

bitchy!

the ex in question is the one i was engaged to, which is now off, but we are *tentively* back together, we both have a lot of stuff to sort through, we are very different people and have very different outlooks. for example, he finds it a bit difficult if i cry when i get upset, where as i don't particularly like him boxing as a release stratagy...

my friends seem to be a little cautious about all of this, but we are taking things slow....so an open relationship etc is most definatly out of the question for the moment, and probably a good while, but its good to hear that there aren't only negative anecdotes.

Former Member

I'm sorry but didn't he treat you crap and call you fat? You said you were feeling fragile recently so I'm concerned you've gotten back with him out of fear of being alone, so an open relationship (even if it's not on the cards yet) might just make things worse in the long run if you have self esteem issues and the guy has treated you crap in the past.

Former Member

the reasons behind him treating me like that were mainly due to him smoking weed, since he has stopped he's become a lot better, and yes, i hate being alone, but i am coming to terms with that. and yes i completely agree that it would not be the thing for us to do right now, thus why i was only enquiring and not thinking of putting it into practice...there are so many things that need to be set in place before we would feel ok with that...

Former Member

twisted_trinity wrote: »

the reasons behind him treating me like that were mainly due to him smoking weed,

well, sorry to bring that up, but smoking weed doesn't make people assholes. They become lazy and a bit greedy with the weed maybe, but nobody can talk himself out of calling his g/f fat, just because he was baked. I could be terrible wrong here, but I wouldn't blame the weed, I'd blame his attitude.

Former Member

I too would like a lesbian relationship of some kind but i dont know anything about it at all - only ever thought about it in fantasys!

Former Member

Ah yeah I remember this! I also was with someone who smoked too much amongst other things! Never going down that route again!

Former Member

twisted_trinity wrote: »

the reasons behind him treating me like that were mainly due to him smoking weed, since he has stopped he's become a lot better, and yes, i hate being alone, but i am coming to terms with that. and yes i completely agree that it would not be the thing for us to do right now, thus why i was only enquiring and not thinking of putting it into practice...there are so many things that need to be set in place before we would feel ok with that...

sorry to stick my oar in but smoking weed is a piss poor excuse for treating you badly. As far as I know weed doesn't really make people be rude or out of order usually just more lazy if he was a drunk then that might be a better reason.

Being alone is shit and that but it's better than being stuck with an idiot (not saying he is an idiot just going from what you've said)

Former Member

he thought by telling me i was fat, that it would motivate me to loose weight. His heart was in the right place, but he was waaaaaaaaaaay off the mark. other than that, he was a bit insensitive, and when i break up with someone i slag them off to kingdom come, and that helps me get over them. So i've probably over embelished stuff

Former Member

You really need to get your esteem sorted before you waste it on a waster.

You are justifying his shortcomings and unless he's HONESTLY honestly 180% worth it, rather than a 'I have a feeling it'll be different this time' scenario, I wouldn't waste effort.

You need to stop changing your relationships as much as you do your pants.

Former Member

He doesn't sound particularly great from what you are saying. If someone told me I was fat I'd give them the push. He sounds like he has lots of issues!

Former Member

before this relationship i hadn't had one since spliting up with ex april last year....

i am hearing what everyone is saying...but do think that most people deserve a second chance. if he makes any more mistakes like before, i have told him he is out the door. and he will be. i'm not including him in any aspect of my life that can't be easily changed back (i.e. like if he cancels a date because he's had family problems come up- his mum relies on him as she has major anxiety problems). i know he has issues, but so do i.

thank you all for caring, and yes i am listening and he will be out the door if he fucks me around.