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Asperger's syndrome
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I was reading the other day in an article that there has been a recent study on people who play computer games, and the more addicted you are to them, the more likely you are to suffer the symptoms of Asperger's syndrome.
I knew a guy who had Asperger's syndrome who was nothing like me, so I never considered having it, until I started to read up on the condition.
To be honest I don't know if I could have it or not, I do seem capable of having relatively normal relationships with people and yet I'm becoming more and more introverted all the time. I have been addicted to computer games for years, and it's getting worse. I don't have the desire to go out or do anything at all. I barely even think about socialising. I feel like when I play computer games it's almost like a safety zone for me, I don't have to think about the big wide world or connect with it.
I've been on and of anti-depressants for the past two years and after taking prozac for the past year and taking 5mg pholic acid supplements in a drug trial my depression cleared up for the first time in my life. I felt so good and like everything was fantastic. Now I'm off the tablets again and I'm reverting back to how I was, not wanting to do anything, or see anyone.
I realise that there's a lot of different factors to Asperger's syndrome and it's a hard condition to diagnose, but from what I've read there are several undeniable coincidences in my behaviour and that of a sufferer.
For example I find social situations with new people really hard, and as a defense I'll start randomly talking about a subject that probably doesn't even interest the other person, to the point where they can be frequently scared away from me. I also have a habit of changing the subject when I'm talking to people, so much and often that I can often lose them and they have to ask me to explain what I'm going on about.
Also I've messed up jobs constantly since I've left school, and I'm scared of fucking up constantly so much that I don't want to work because I feel like no matter what I go into I'm going to mess it up one way or another. I've read it's a symptom of Asperger's syndrome that if a sufferer doesn't really want to do something, they find it completely impossible to find the drive at all to do it. This kind of links back to the whole computer game thing, which has now become staying up at night, sometimes all night, unable to tear myself away from reading and downloading computer games. I realise this sounds ridiculous....but there just seems to be a lot of things pointing to the condition.
Another thing is when I was younger I used to have really, really bad tantrums if I didn't want to do something. I don't remember many of these but I attacked my Mum with a squash racket once and I REFUSED to do anything I didn't want to. I'd go completely insane, I was uncontrollable and it wasn't normal. I used to lash out, say evil things and generally show my Mum up a lot of the time.
I'm going to stop here as I've just realised how much I've put but I've taken 2 online tests (which I realise again aren't a diagnosis), one of which said it's likely to have it, the other asked 50 questions, which the average person scoring 16.2 and 88% of people scoring over 26/27 who were tested suffering from Asperger's. I got a 36.
Anyone who knows more about the condition or anything would really help. I feel like it would be beneficial to understand why I am the way I am, because I fail to believe I'm doomed to be another fuck up in society, ending up in a council flat, living off the benefits system
I knew a guy who had Asperger's syndrome who was nothing like me, so I never considered having it, until I started to read up on the condition.
To be honest I don't know if I could have it or not, I do seem capable of having relatively normal relationships with people and yet I'm becoming more and more introverted all the time. I have been addicted to computer games for years, and it's getting worse. I don't have the desire to go out or do anything at all. I barely even think about socialising. I feel like when I play computer games it's almost like a safety zone for me, I don't have to think about the big wide world or connect with it.
I've been on and of anti-depressants for the past two years and after taking prozac for the past year and taking 5mg pholic acid supplements in a drug trial my depression cleared up for the first time in my life. I felt so good and like everything was fantastic. Now I'm off the tablets again and I'm reverting back to how I was, not wanting to do anything, or see anyone.
I realise that there's a lot of different factors to Asperger's syndrome and it's a hard condition to diagnose, but from what I've read there are several undeniable coincidences in my behaviour and that of a sufferer.
For example I find social situations with new people really hard, and as a defense I'll start randomly talking about a subject that probably doesn't even interest the other person, to the point where they can be frequently scared away from me. I also have a habit of changing the subject when I'm talking to people, so much and often that I can often lose them and they have to ask me to explain what I'm going on about.
Also I've messed up jobs constantly since I've left school, and I'm scared of fucking up constantly so much that I don't want to work because I feel like no matter what I go into I'm going to mess it up one way or another. I've read it's a symptom of Asperger's syndrome that if a sufferer doesn't really want to do something, they find it completely impossible to find the drive at all to do it. This kind of links back to the whole computer game thing, which has now become staying up at night, sometimes all night, unable to tear myself away from reading and downloading computer games. I realise this sounds ridiculous....but there just seems to be a lot of things pointing to the condition.
Another thing is when I was younger I used to have really, really bad tantrums if I didn't want to do something. I don't remember many of these but I attacked my Mum with a squash racket once and I REFUSED to do anything I didn't want to. I'd go completely insane, I was uncontrollable and it wasn't normal. I used to lash out, say evil things and generally show my Mum up a lot of the time.
I'm going to stop here as I've just realised how much I've put but I've taken 2 online tests (which I realise again aren't a diagnosis), one of which said it's likely to have it, the other asked 50 questions, which the average person scoring 16.2 and 88% of people scoring over 26/27 who were tested suffering from Asperger's. I got a 36.
Anyone who knows more about the condition or anything would really help. I feel like it would be beneficial to understand why I am the way I am, because I fail to believe I'm doomed to be another fuck up in society, ending up in a council flat, living off the benefits system
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Comments
I always need order in things. If anyone breaks my pattern I get really frustrated and annoyed, even if it's minor things. Like my computer games, DVD's and CD's are all in order by format and alphabetically. If they're not put back where they should be, in the case, in alphabetical order, I go mental. There are other things. My sleeping pattern is also all over the shop and no matter what I do I can't get it right. I've tried horlicks, warm milk, cup-a-soups, even herbal sleeping tablets. Nothing works. If I can't get to sleep by 6am I stay up all day, go to bed early evening and don't wake up till 3-4 the next day. It seems impossible to break the habit.
I've never been challenged as far as learning is concerned, on the contrary I did pretty well at school, even though I missed a fair amount and had problems with bullying and not going etc.
As far as getting diagnosed is concerned. I think it would probably be a long and difficult process. My sister being diagnosed with dyspraxia was a lot of work, it seems if it's not picked up in childhood help for adults is limited, but mental conditions do run in my family (sister with dyspraxia, cousin with OCD, another cousin with skitzophrenia).
I sort of mentioned it to my Mum a few weeks ago and she said if I wanted to find out about being tested she'd go to the doctor with me, but last time I went to the doctor about my compulsions I thought it was OCD and she pretty much laughed at me and told me I was silly for thinking it so. Mum isn't very supportive of me at all any more, all I feel is a constant pressure and I know she thinks I'm a failure as a person and that I'll never integrate into society as I had a conversation with her (not an arguement) and she told me her concerns.
Sort of true. Though I wonder if my failures in life could be partly due to me being different. I'm not trying to excuse myself, just trying to see if I can find an answer as to where I went wrong and why I seem to keep failing.
Charming :rolleyes:
This is very true. It took my brother 7 years (ish) to get diagnosed. The amount of 'doctors' who said that it was my parents fault was shocking.
My brother does this as well. And he talks like people know what he's on about.
You could just be very itelligent?
It's not that sort of test. It was an asperger's test, asking you questions about your lifestyle and how much you agreed/disagreed with the statements. e.g.
I get a lot of joy out of monotomous tasks and get angry if anyone tries to break my patterns.
(a) strongly agree
(b) agree
(c) disagree
(d) strongly disagree
(that was just an example).
Get it checked out. So many ailments have very similar symptoms and the last thing you want to do, is go through life trying to deal with a perceived condition that may not be there.
It's fine to use these boards for 'sounding' purposes but you REALLY need to get to the truth via medical consultation.
And, dude, you are way too young to consider yourself a failure. You have plenty of time to sort your life out.
Whatever happens, your future hasn't been decided yet and you're not doomed to be anything. You've already done well at school and have attempted to work, which you might not think is a lot but it's more than many people do. I know people who have found out they have a minor problem and decide to stay on benefits for the rest of their life. The fact that you don't want that indicates to me that you're not the sort of person who will be beaten by your circumstances.