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What's the worst you've ever needed a wee / poo?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in General Chat
This is my first post. I was amused by a similar thread on another site and thought I would lob this one in.
What's the worst you have ever needed a wee? A poo? Did you make it? What was the end result? Great relief or wet / messy pants.
What's the worst you have ever needed a wee? A poo? Did you make it? What was the end result? Great relief or wet / messy pants.
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Needless to say my bladder was close to exploding when we finally arrived :impissed:
Wiped my arse on my t-shirt and got dressed and stood straight just as the doors opened ...i looked at the two women about to enter the lift and suggested they use an other lift cos some dirty git had done this ...and pointed ...and fled.
One of them was a bit bolshy and was determined he was going to book me but i was pissing for so long ...the other guy took the bolshy one to one side ...came back and stood next to me and had a piss!
o and i will never be able to look at the canal i relieved myself by in the same way again and even then i had to cut off half way through because the guys started walking off!
and for pooing, it was when i was at work and had diarrhoea and had been eating chocolate all day...you know that desperate walk people do? yupp that was me getting off the bus and all the way back to my flat, i swear the people in the neighbouring town could hear the belly groans!
Anyway. this hostel was about 1 hour train ride and about 10 minutes with tramway from our school (I needed just 20 minutes in total to my school from home), and I remember boarding the train one morning and I felt it: I had to take a shit. The loo in the train was out of order, so I was sitting there crossed legs holding back for dear life. At the trainstation I went to the toilet but nearly threw up ad shit was everywhere. I decided to hold back until school. When we exited the tram, you have to go a way leading downwards to our school and every step was agony, as this "tremor" when your foot is set to ground when it goes downhill was in a battle of life and death with my sphincter.
I went as quick but carefully as possible until I arrived there. Half the school was already there before it was allowed to enter the building. I was about to enter when some dick of the staff said, "school hasn't opened yet". I said, "This is an emergency, I REALLY need a toilet!" He let me go and I nearly shat myself until I mounted the bog. It was like 10 minutes before the school opens and 25 minutes before first lesson starts. I came 5 minutes too late into the first lesson, but felt so light, I thought I could fly.
Oh same here. It was coming home from one week of skiing. The bus didn't have a loo and we were in a traffic jam. the whole travel was about 5 hours. It hurt so bad already. Upon arriving I jumped out of the bus and peed to the next tree, which was like 10 metres away from the bus, children and parents fetching their children everywhere. classy.
About 4 years ago. I was on my way home from uni one morning (short day) and suddenly I started feeling dizzy. A few minutes later, I started feeling like I had to shit. I thought there would be time enough to get home, but when I was in the last bus I suddenly knew I had to find somewhere to puke and somewhere to shit.
Luckily we were at a stop, so I ran out just as the doors were closing, entered the nearest store (it sold furniture) and asked if I could please use the toilet. The owner jumped up from his seat and shouted "Not in here!" as if I was carrying a bomb. I guess he thought I was a drug addict or a drunk, as I probably looked green and couldn't walk straight.
I got out of the shop again and barfed in a flower pot (:o). That made me feel better, but I still needed a toilet badly. I entered the next shop (it sold car parts) and asked for the toilet, luckily this guy was polite and showed me in. I used it (lots of diarrhoea) and barfed again. I cleaned the toilet and sink as best as I could, thanked the guy a lot and went home.
I think it must have been a bug or something... For the rest of the day (and the days before and after this one) I was perfectly fine.
Oh. My. God. I used to WORK there! :eek2:
Bloody good job I never used the lifts and was on the second floor eh?
i was sitting there with tears in my eyes and my knees knocking just praying for the trip to be over. dont think i listened to a word the tour guidewas saying!!
as soon as thetrip was over i bombed itto the nearest cafe thatwould let me use their bogs:)
as for needing a poo :chin:
umm well i guess thinking back it would have to be when i was about 13!!
Me and my sister went for a walk in the fields surrounding my old house - in our wellies and rain gear. all was going well until we reached a massive pool of mud, which i thought it would be fun to take a running jump and jump right into the center of it.
I did so, thinking it would be easy to get out of, but unfoortunately i was stuck fast! The mud went up to my thighs and i reeally couldnt move without getting even more lodged. my sister (who was about 10 at the time) tried her hardest to pull me out but she couldnt, so in the end she ran off to get my nanny/dad
... she came back 2 HOURS LATER!! by that point i needed the loo so bad i was in tears. my dad eventually got me out (minus my wellies), and i had to run off to the nearest hedge.
not seen those wellies since! prolly still there!
Those weren't tears :razz:
...about three years back I hadn't been working long for the company I joined as my first estate agents (I'm not still with them, I hasten to add). One morning I had to go out and visit a couple of properties on my own and keen to impress I busied myself and dashed from here to there, making the odd call etc, etc. I'd been out for a few hours and (typical estate agent,I hear you say!) I had supped a couple of coffees before I set out for the journey back to my office. I knew that I needed a pee but I was confident that I could wait until I got back to work, I certainly didn't want to have to find a public loo if I could help it and professional ettiquette recommends that you don't ask to use someone's toilet at a house you are visiting.
I set off back to the office and I had been driving for about 15 minutes when we hit the most horrific traffic jam imaginable. The cars literally ground to a halt quite suddenly and it was fairly obvious that something pretty drastic had happened on the south circular. As time passed my need for a pee was growing rapidly worse...and worse...and worse...and with little else to think about, panic was starting to set in too. I desperately scoured the car to see if I could find a bottle or something but there was nothing. I should add that it was a company car and not my own. After what seemed like hours during which we crawled along, seemingly about twenty metres every ten minutes, I was in agony, sweating like mad and I could hardly sit still. I was shifting from one buttock to the other as I tried frantically to contain myself and I was almost in despair at the prospect of what might happen!!
Almost incredibly, in severe anguish and with a belly-ache of enormous proportions, I was still containing myself nearly an hour later, trying to conceal my predicament in a number of phone calls to the office and uite remarkably, I made it finally off the south circular and drove almost bent over in the seat to a BP garage. I pulled up and got out and almost staggered inside to seek the elusive toilet... and to my utmost horror discovered that the hold-up must have effected numerous others in the same way because there was a queue of 4 or 5 people waiting outside the toilet.
I'm not ashamed to admit that I was almost in tears as I helplessly joined the queue, my predicament presumably apparent to anyone who cared to look at me. I was in so much pain and literally felt numb throughout my belly and lower regions...so much so, that it was only when I felt...erm...warmth
In sheer panic and overcome with humiliation and, dare I say, relief...I stood there, in the queue, in full public view...and I pissed myself!!! :crying:
I was 22 years old, suited and at work...and I stood there and wet myself.
I guess the human bladder can only take so much punishment and the prospect of the relief at getting to a toilet being snatched away from me by the queue must have been the final straw.
I stood there until I had 'finished' (no-one said a word, believe it or not!) and then trembling and feeling almost faint, I squelched back to the car leaving a somewhat unfortunate job for the garage staff to clean up the floor where I had been stood.
Wet, defeated, humiliated and ashamed I had to drive home, change my suit and gather all the strength of character I had within me before going back to work some time later.
And there, my friends, is a story I have shared with so few...until now...and having seen this thread I just thought...redemption is nigh!!!
Beat that one, if you so dare!!
confession done, penance received!! :eek2:
Coming back from Leeds utd from watchin Forest on the coach there was a man that needed a piss and the bus didnt have a toliet on and the bus driver wouldnt stop... so he drank his bottle of pop and pissed in that!!
Best piss ever!
Doesn't look like it is forthcoming, though!!
My worst pee moment was getting stuck on the motorway (M1) about five years ago. A lorry had overturned - spilling out some dangerous liquid and we were stationary for three hours. My wife was driving - as I had had a few drinks. We were about forty minutes into our trip and I had pissed before getting into the car. The urge crept up on me slowly but inevitably. Neither of us are shy about our toilet habits and my wife was getting more amused at the sight of me squirming in the seat. After about an hour in the car, it reached the point where I was going numb with the pain and even my wife felt sorry for my predicament. I felt very embarrassed about getting out of the car and going to the hard shoulder - we were in the fast lane and it would have meant crossing two lanes and cars. Eventually my wife said that I had better go before I wet myself - I was wearing my one and only good suit and the thoughts of pissing myself did not bear thinking about. Eventually, I bit the bullet and hobbled out of the car and crossed the two lanes to the hard shoulder. No cover as such existed, so I shuffled onto the bank area, unzipped and sought release. I was conscious of other drivers looking at me but I didn't care. It took me about ten seconds to get started but when I did, boy did I go. I was there for well over a minute and kept getting further spurts when I thought I was finished. The relief was unreal. I felt lighter! The throbbing pain began to disappear. Eventually I zipped up and walked back. I can alwys remember a woman driver who must have been looking at me carefully, winking me as I passed the car and giving me the thumbs up!
My poo story will follow later.