just a vent really...

Former Member

urgh i am so stupid sometimes. just had a huge strop at my boyfriend for nothing. and now he wont answer the phone.

basically i was meant to be seeing him on wednesday but he has been offered a double payed over time shift which he took. which he needs to do as we need all the money we can get right now for the impending baby.

but i totally lost it and started going on about how money is more important that me etc etc etc which i know is so so stupid but im finding it hard to be rational right now and urgh

so i've called him and left a message on his answer phone saying sorry and can he call me but so far he hasnt. plus he starts a night shift in 10 mins so i know he wont call me now

i hate when we fight, he is usually so good with my moods but i think i've pushed it a bit far this time

urgh im so stupid he said we can do something on thursday instead which is fine and the obvious solution but it just wasnt good enough for me in my stupid hormonal state

Former Member

Show him this thread - i'm not sure what other advice i can offer other than alwasy hold your breath and count to three before replying - hummmmm

But big hugs

Former Member

Damn those Female hormones! Chill out he's big boy he must know the score. Poor fucker can't do right for doing wrong eh. Just txt him saying you're the best I'm sorry my hormones are playing up.

You'll both be laughing about this in no time!

Former Member

Harmless wrote: »

Poor fucker can't do right for doing wrong eh.

i feel sorry for him, he is trying so hard and all i keep doing it having a go at him.

if i dont hear from him in the next few hours i think i'll text him saying im sorry again.

i just dont want him to be cross at me

Former Member

Just sincerely apologize to him, I think he will understand the given situation (tight on money, hormones, etc.). Shouldn't become a habit however. I know that I am pretty impulsive as well, but thinking about it first and then deciding to be stroppy or not helps me

Former Member

i know its not even a big thing to get moody over. it would just mean seeing him a day later than planned. but now cos of my mood i might not get to see him at all.

just want him to call/text me and say its ok

Former Member

sometimes I used to get like that in relationships and it's fine for the first few strops but after a while he will get fed up and when you get like that he'll tell you to fuck off.

If he forgives you this time say sorry and make it up to him and next time you feel a strop coming on ring a friend or go have a bath or something.

Former Member

You sound so cute haha

The one thing that really shows me that me and Claire are in love is that fact that we DO have irrational strops with each other sometimes, mainly because we just miss and want each others attention, but like i was saying, the main thing that shows the love is the ability to say "sorry, i just miss you, i know i was stupid, can we ust forget about it please?". It makes so much sense to be like that.

Hopefully he will just realise you love him and let go of any pride or hurt and give you a cuddle.

haha listen to me, i sound like a fucking care bear!

Former Member

ahhh honey, dont be too hard on yourself. Remember you are one big bowl of hormonal soup right now and your bf should go easy on you

Former Member

well it was ok, about 9pm he text me and said it was all forgotten about and not to worry about it.
then he told me he needed to pack today (he is moving house next week) and he wouldnt be coming down as planned. now he was only meant to be coming as my midwife was coming, but she now cant come so he is (understandably) not coming either and using the time to pack. but i flew off the handle at that too and called him and it ended up with him shouting at me that he needs his own life too and i cant rely on his for everything and then hanging up on me

he text me at 7am saying he was home and after he sleeps he will call me so we can talk. i text back with 'are you going to finish with me?' and he replied with 'we'll talk later'

TashJ

Hi blonde__batman,

It sounds like you both have a lot on your mind at the moment, which is totally understandable. With the 'impending baby', he's wanting to earn more money, but in the meantime you've got midwife appointments and want to feel like you matter to him.

I'm not sure if you've talked to him already following your text, but if you haven't it might be worth planning what you're going to say. It's important that he knows how you're feeling at the moment, but it's equally important to hear how the situation is making him feel as well. Would it be possible for you to negotiate when you're next able to see each other? There's some good articles on TheSite.org about communciating as a couple and on the BBC Relationships website about Coping with Conflict that you might find useful.

JustThinking and Wyetry have given some useful suggestions as to how to avoid arguments in future - though of course, it's often difficult to put even the best advice in practice when you're stressed. You also might find remembering some of this list of questions helps a bit useful if something starts annoying you.

Please take extra care of yourself over the next while. You may find that gentle exercise, keeping a journal, or just going out with friends and doing something you love might divert the stress away from the situation with your partner.

Hope everything works out for you.
Tash

Former Member

why do you keep having a go at him?? it doesn't really seem from what you've said that you had any reason to, other than your hormones which you can't blame all the time. hope it gets sorted. i didn't realise you were pregnant, when are you due?

Former Member

Personally, if I argue with someone, I find it better not talk to each other for a bit. It generally means I'm unlikely to bring up whatever it was we were arguing about.

i text back with 'are you going to finish with me?' and he replied with 'we'll talk later'

This may not mean that he wants to break up with you. He could just be too busy to talk to you.

Former Member

he finished with me. im not 100% sure why, i cant make anything make sence right now. im so tired and i just dunno wat to do really anymore

Former Member

Not going to help much, but isn't this the guy you broke up with a few times? You'd just broken up (again) when you found out you are pregnant, no?

Having a baby doesn't automatically make any relationship work any better. Perhaps it is better to have him involved in a non-boyfriend sense.

Former Member

I'm sure you'll get back together Chelle, you do lately He prob just feels like your pushing him away and they can only take so much x

Former Member

hmm i don't really come on here so i don't know what's been going on in your life but just from what i can gather on this thread alone, you don't need the stress and upset of breaking up with him and getting back with him all the time. i really think you need some time to yourself, you don't need an unhealthy relationship and nor does your baby.