Not being able to just have a bit of fun

BillieTheBot

I have been flirting with a girl I've known for a while. She is 4 years older than me but interested, only problem is she doesn't want anything serious and just wants fun. I can't get my head round it and lack confidence to just have fun. What should I do?

Former Member

It really depends, if you can keep it just light then why not. But if you are liable to fall for her then I wouldnt because you'll want more, she wont and it will get ugly.

Having said that, you could go into it with this knowledge and accept that its worth the possibility of getting hurt for the chance to be with her.

Former Member

i wouldn't recommend getting involved, as I have been the girl in a couple of similar situations and it ends up being a pretty horrible situation. Ok, one time out of a hundred she'll end up falling for you too, but if she's said all that she wants is a bit of fun, you should work on the assumption that she won't change her mind. If you want a proper relationship, you'll only end up getting hurt.

Don't assume she'll change her mind, then if you think being with her for a little while is worth the hurt, go for it. If not, leave well alone.

Former Member

Similar to what others have said... It really depends on the feelings you have for her already and what you want in the future.

Fun is a great thing when both your heads are in the same place, thing is she has being totally honest with you so if you do fall for her you have nobody to blame other than yourself when you get hurt.

If you can have fun with her without the commitment then go for it, if you think you'll fall for her then don't bother if you can't handle getting hurt. If you've being hurt before I doubt you'd purposely put yourself through that again and if you haven't being hurt before then trust me its not nice and it can shape future relationships for quite a long time, which means you could possibly miss out on the girl of your dreams cos your scared of getting hurt again...trust me I've lost out before!

Former Member

Virus wrote: »

I have been flirting with a girl I've known for a while. She is 4 years older than me but interested, only problem is she doesn't want anything serious and just wants fun. I can't get my head round it and lack confidence to just have fun. What should I do?

Best thing is to just have fun.

Having fun and then losing out, is better than having no fun and losing later out. Just do it.

Former Member

StrubbleS wrote: »

Best thing is to just have fun.

Having fun and then losing out, is better than having no fun and losing later out. Just do it.

Ooooh, I'm not sure I agree with that. Surely it depends on how strong the guy's feelings are for this woman?

I was seeing a guy for four years. Deeply in love with him for two of them, as you do, but it was entirely one-sided. He was using me for sex, and I was lapping up every miniscule ounce of attention he'd give me. Granted, I brought it on myself as he made it very clear from the get-go that he didn't want a relationship... but from my experience, I'd have to advise you to be cautious.

She's already told you she doesn't want to get in too deep. You've already admitted to yourself that you're not entirely sure you can handle that. Don't risk the heartache.

Former Member

I really only go into a relationship if I think there's some kind of future and is going to be fairly serious (I take it as it happens, and don't go looking for a serious relationship, but on the other hand wouldn't go after something I knew was just a short-term bit of fun). I've always had friends thinking that was a bit odd and I should be off having lots of casual sex and one night stands, but that's just not me.

If you're into something a bit more serious (or at least has the porential to be a bit more serious) then so be it, no need to change at all, just accept that this girl isn't for you (wrong time/place/person for you).

My advice would be stick to what you want, not change just to get a girl.