Jealously/ Paranoia

Former Member

I've been getting with this lad for a couple of months now and I really like him. We get on well, he makes me laugh and I feel really comfortable around him.

I'm mates with all of his mates and he is with mine as well so we usually end up all hanging around together.

But for some reason I'm really, really paranoid about him getting with/ starting to like my best friend. I can't believe how jealous I'm being about the whole thing and it's making me feel like an idiot. She knows how I feel but he doesn't although I have a feeling he might have picked up on it last friday.

I don't know why I'm feeling like this because it's unfair on my best mate and I know jealousy isn't an attractive trait and I don't want to put him off me.

How can I stop myself from making myself look like an idiot and how can I stop feeling this way?

Former Member

My ex missus had a very similar thing with me whereby she was convinced I was in / going to fall in love with one of my girl mates who I've been mates with for years. She never spoke to me about it but I picked up on it, and it ended up turning into a blazing row in front of the girl's family at a party when we were both hammered - not good haha.

I'd suggest that you might want to explain how you feel about it to him maybe, because of that above. If you don't then you might find youself constantly burning with jealousy and that isn't the best foundation for a loving relationship. Jealousy is only a natural human reaction though, theres no set way to stop yourself feeling it, so try not to feel like an idiot

Good luck

Former Member

Er call me stupid (please do!) but if you like him and get on with him and it would seem he likes you....why did you not ask him out/make a move? :chin:

You snooze you lose as they say, however it's not over right! Just tell him one time when your alone together that you quite fancy him and wouldn't mind having drink with him. Or something to give him idea that you are asking him out/informing him that you like him that way

Surely must be less embarrassing way!

If your mate knows you fancy him then she should by girl law back off right? Or is it every bird for herself!?

I think you'll stop feeling that way once you decide on course of action. Sitting on fence waiting for him to ask you out may take sometime and you run the risk of him and your mate getting together. It's your call but clearly some sort of action is needed!

Former Member

Thanks Doofay that was really helpful.

Yeah Harmless, you're probably right but I've never been the sort of girl to ask a guy out. We go out a lot in a group and he's mentioned taking me out before (when he's drunk) but it's never really happened. She doesn't really flirt with him but they do talk and they are friendly, I feel like such a prick for feeling like this though cos she's my best friend.

Former Member

It seems that you are unwilling to take any course of action. Nothing we say on here really makes a difference in your life, sure we can give you ideas and suggestions that may spur you on but end of day its down to you!

I'd see what choices you have in front of you and ask yourself what do I want. Do you want this guy as your bf or just a mate? Could you handle your best friend with this chap?

If you want him as your bf make a move! Think about it long term, going out and breaking up may well ruin your friendship with this chap, if you can't stand that thought, then you may well be better off stepping back and letting your mate and this chap work things out if it's to be.

Sure letting nature take it's course is easy but you could well lose out on something great by sitting on fence wishing it will happen!! - Anyway I'm maent to be bitter at moment so ignore me!!