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Bj
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've never given a BJ before and whenever my boyfriend goes down on me, I haven't returned the favour because I don't know what to do! Okay, it's pretty self explanatory but any tips would be cool so I can return the favour 
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Apart from that its just trial and error! Give it a go and see if he likes what your doing. just remember, no teeth!!!
Have you had a look at this article? I will also say that any man would love any kind of effort put into receiving a blow job ;-) so just start off slow and ask him what he would like and I'm sure he will tell you. If he is also a bit shy, check out the tips in the article above and it should be pretty obvious that you will be able to tell if he's enjoying it. The one big no no is trying to devour him whole as you may gag and this is definitely not sexy (!). Also I'm sure he will like it if you use your hand/s at the same time. Just make sure you are both in a private and relaxed setting so you have nothing to be worried about and enjoy the moment.
Pearly
Not that I'm an expert because I only do it once in a blue moon because I have 0 head-giving confidence, but that is my tip for you
i feel for you, i think giving head for the first time is a big thing for most girls and i worried about it for AGES before i actually did it and then it wasnt even that bad. i think the important thing is if your boyfriend is supportive and you feel confident and relaxed with him. does he know you've never give it before? the only way to get more find out what he likes and stuff is to just pluck up the courage and do it. i dont think anyone is the best their first time but you learn as you go on.
I just wouldn't know where to start to be completely honest, aha.
Yeah that is quite grosse, thankfully I can't take the credit for that!
Yeah, not to mention when they do stuff like practically swallowing the guy whole. Really, porn isn't so good as an example of how to give a blowjob unless you're really into showing off for the camera.
Maybe you should tell him you haven't before but want to at some point so he knows to be encouraging and supportive when you do?
Here goes:
The first rule of good head is that you have to enjoy it. No amount of going through the motions will compensate for real enthuasiam about pleasing your fella, it's cliched but true. If they know [er, or think] you worship their cock then they will be incredibly aroused. If I don't like something sexually then I won't do it regardless of how much wheedling a man might do. Luckily blow jobs are very easily made extremely enjoyable to the lady too.
Getting down to business, I would say it's important to take your time even if he wants to rush (common problem) as it does - in my experience - increase the intensity of the orgasm the longer you make him wait for it. Eye contact is essential, not always easy but every now and then look up and catch his eye. I think I had too much time on my hands back in the day as I remember spending aaaages practising a cheeky smile that I could do more with your eyes and cheeks than my mouth (as that was pretty full). Eye contact suggests sexual confidence even if it is all bravado, and if he's a porn fan then it'll probably remind him of some filth he's watched once upon a time
As for what to actually do with your mouth and tongue, it's basically an open playing field. There are so many different ways to stimulate a penis other than just fucking it with your mouth as fast as you can. I can't be bothered with that anyway, it takes all the enjoyment out of blow jobs for me as I'm thinking about rythmn etc rather than getting into the spirit of things. I also tend to drift off into thoughts of what I'm going to put in the coloured wash. Familiarise yourself with the sensitivity of different areas. Of course every man is different but basically the major concentrations of nerve endings are in the same places. Good places to lick slooowly are the length of the shaft (veins up the front particularly), ridge around the base of the helmet, the testicles, sides of the testicles and the perinium. If he's clean and you're brave then you can go for broke with the anus.
In my humble experience the more teasing the better, frustration is a turn on in itself as long as it's not too drawn out. Work your way down there slowly. Again, take your time. If he's an impatient headpusher (bad, bad, bad) then I have always taken to tying his hands up so I am completely in control. Nothing kills the vibe like a palm on top of your head shoving your down there. You can kiss and lick slowly and firmly on the tummy, hips, inner thigh and then in a little figure of 8 over his testicles gently. Blowing gently on the places that are wet - where your tongue has been - is very effective.
Rank as it probably sounds, you need to learn to do a lot of drooling. Really work up a lot of spit to make it really wet as ideally you want to coat the whole of him. If you get this down then you can also use your hand to wank him at the same time as sucking him so that you are stimulating the whole of him at once [and making things easier on yourself = bonus!]. If you carry on with this then he will probably come fairly quickly. But you don't want to let him do that! Seriously, get him as wet as possible. Don't be afraid to really dribble over him (sexy!) and employ your best "naughty porn star" face. After that I would suggest just letting yourself go nuts and lick him all over - balls, his shaft, the back of the penis (oh-so-often neglected), just kissing and licking and sucking and doing the old crazily exagerrated "mmmming" as you go. Is good to learn to alternate in perfect rhythm. Slide your tongue up the shaft from balls to tip, then go down on him old-school style for just one head bob, then lick then bob then lick then bob. Drives [some] men wild as they can't decide what they like more, though you do get some who tell you to pack it in.
It's a lot to take in, and basically you need to just go with it and guage his reactions. Above all - variety, rhythmn and enthusiasm along with a lot of saliva will see you right. Listen to the noises he makes to know what really does it for him. But don't have a set pattern, do what YOU want to do and in the order you fancy. Ask him what he likes, talk about it. Everything I know about going down on blokes has been learned from blokes, they know better than anyone what stirs their loins.
Just an aside on deep throating though it probably won't be your bag until you're a lot more comfortable with fellatio generally. It takes practise but is worth the trial and error if you're a plucky one! I think it also takes a lot of love (or at least desire) because it ain't exactly a walk in the park. If you can't do it just take him as deep as you can comfortably once in a while to let him feel you just want to gobble it up. There is no pressure for deep throating as most of the sensitivity is in the tip anyhow, but if you want to perfect the art then why the fuck not go the whole hog I say! I've always found it to be easiest from a sort of 69 position with you on top so your head is the other way up to his penis. You have to learn to open and relax the back of the throat and have your head tipped back sword swallower stylee... as weird as that sounds. It takes practise to do it without gagging, but the times I've pulled it off have made the perserverance worthwhile.
Whatever you do, make sure you make excited, encouraging noises so he knows you are loving it. There's nothing more of a turn on than thinking that the person who is giving you oral sex is REALLY enjoying it. When he comes let him come deep in your mouth for some of it, and then open you mouth slightly and hold your tongue just under his helmet so he can watch it, er, dribbling over your lips. Look up with your [now perfected] cheeky smile, swallow, purr like you've just had a gobful of hot chocolate and voila. After that my instinct would be to move up and kiss him and lie together so he have a kip. If you've done your best work then he will need shut eye and so will you.
It sounds like a fine art and maybe it is. It sounds very strange to say but being able to give good head has infinitely improved my sex life and relationships. Make sure you get yours too though, if you're into it. Straight after probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but don't let it be forgotten that next time it bloody well better be your turn!
I would like to tack onto this: don't worry about it. It's fun, it's funny, it's enjoyable for both of you. If it isn't then don't bother... I certainly wouldn't bother if I didn't like doing it.
Swings and roundabouts dear.
Hygiene downstairs is not just a male requirement.
Iniittttttt. fishy hairy minge is puke worthy.
I actually vomited a little in my mouth right there.
That's what it's like for us...
Ohh I agonised about it for aaages before I actually did it - like years and years and years. In the end i was doing a purity test thing with my friends (in the years before we all had email) and one of them was quite shocked that i'd managed to get to the age of 19 with out doing it - sooo a few weeks later I kind of did with him - but it was also kind of nice that it was a friend and not someone i was going out with - oddly i had lunch with him today (only 11 year later)....... Random I hadn't thought about that in years.
I'm not sure i've got much advice though as i'm still not a massive fan
He's not great at head either, so I guess theres no pressure haha.
2. suck/lick
3. put it further in and farther out, with closed lips.
sorry to be so graphic, but that's the basic idea.
/e: yea, just take briggi's advice..
Chill out. Do it when you're ready, not before. I took forever to get around to it and still feel sick every time I think about it. Some people really enjoy giving head, some people hate it.
Take your time. If you're not comfortable, don't do it.
But if he's not very experienced, then any form of bj will keep him happy.
just get drunk:)
gd luck xxx