new life making me lonely, confused and unloved

Former Member

Hi guys. not really posted on here in a while, but ive managed to borrow someone's internet, because i need to write all this stuff down. What i really want to know is; is what im feeling normal?

basically; just over a month ago i moved out of home for the first time, started a new job+moved into a house with 2 other guys. i love the job, have made quite a few friends, get on well with my housemates and love the area.
However, i feel lonely. ive not seen my boyfriend for bout 6 weeks now, just before new year, and ive kinda got a soft spot for the guys im living with. id never cheat on my boyfriend, but i dont like the feeling of lonelyness and feeling unloved.....and i dont like the fact that i keep thinking about my housemate in a way i shouldnt when im in a relationship
also, we went out on saturday night and i was quite flirty with my other house mate. i think im just missing the attention i used to get off my boyfriend, but right now i feel so sad, low and such a horrible person.
im seeing my boyfriend this weekend, but it doesnt help that we wont be able to do anything, since im due on

So, what im asking you all is; am i a total cow for missing things like hugs, having someone put their arm around me+compliments???
If you need more info, il try to oblige, but please dont think im a horrible person.....because i really feel bad about all this!

Former Member

aww hun, i kinda know how you feel.

what your feeling is normal you have been through alot of change with moving out etc. my other half works away alot and i get lonely, and been in a similar situatuin. all i can suggest is that make sure you are keeping in contact with him, emails,phone calls etc.

is their any way you can get your b/f to come a week later if your concerned about not getting any sex?

Don't beat yourself up about missing hugs and stuff its normal, all my friends can tell when my other half is away as i get all cuddley with everyone lol

Just make the most of the time you have with your guy, chill out and hug and kiss lots and if you are on you can give him lots of attention too so that he realise's how much you appreciate him and miss him:thumb:

Former Member

Can I ask why you don't get to see your boyfriend as much?

It's only natural to miss the attention someone would be normally giving you if they are not there. I think you need to decide though if you like your house mate because of the attention he is showing you, or if you don't want to be with your boyfriend anymore. It doesn't sound like you want finish with your boyfriend, but if you're going to be feeling like this when you're not around him, it's not fair on you or him.

It sounds like you've gone through some big changes recently, moving house, new job etc, so it's to be expected that your feelings will be a bit over the place. Just talk things through with your boyfriend and let him know how you feel. Sounds like you need a little hug

Former Member

thanx longtermlover. we are keeping in contact, but its hard cos my phone has no reception at work, so we can only really talk in the evening
im actually going home the week after, so its all good in that respect, lol.

TC - thanx alot. i dont want to finish with my boyfriend, i was just worrying bcos of what i was thinking. il never have to go this long without seeing him again, its was because of money issues for us both and important commitments that we had to go so long, BUT i get paid on friday, so il be seeing him twice a month at the very least! we both work all week+he works saturdays, so he's gonna be coming up sat nigts to see me and spend sunday with me!!

ANy other advice is still welcome guys....

Former Member

It's completely natural to be feeling how you are, especially when it's you that's taken such a big step and moved away from you "comfort zone" so to speak where your family, friends etc are. We all need people we trust around us to be able to talk to and support us and when that's taken away it's very easy to feel down and lonely. Just give it time and I'm sure the feelings you have for your housemate will pass as you get more settled there and start to build that support network around you in the new place.

Former Member

Not to hijack your thread but sounds like what im planning. Im planning to move out, or i have been to move near a guy i like. But he dont feel the same way. I can imagine i would be feeling similar to you when i move down there (if at tbh ).

I think it sounds difficult with your situation, your only seing him twice a month thats not much. But it might be enough if you love him. You will know this already.. Its natural to feel that way im sure.. but well done to you for remaining loyal.

As i speak i've just been told to stop texting my crush "like he's my boyfriend" becuase its annoying him apparently. yet we have spoke well late in the mornings for months, and all of a sudden im in the wrong. His head keeps changing his opinion of me...

Loves xx