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Virginity question!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi
i lost my virginity in 2003 when i was 20-21. I had sex with my bf about 50 or so times over a period of 3 months, got pregnant.....had an abortion at 10 weeks, had sex 6 times after that and havent had it again to date....its 2008 now! i havent told my fiance abt my past and i am scared that he might notice that i am not a virgin. WIll he notice if he is experienced? or inexperienced?
please help!
i lost my virginity in 2003 when i was 20-21. I had sex with my bf about 50 or so times over a period of 3 months, got pregnant.....had an abortion at 10 weeks, had sex 6 times after that and havent had it again to date....its 2008 now! i havent told my fiance abt my past and i am scared that he might notice that i am not a virgin. WIll he notice if he is experienced? or inexperienced?
please help!
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Comments
But seriously, if he is also a virgin, (though I don't know what sex feels like for a man) I doubt very much he'll be able to tell the difference. Unfortunatly I can't say how much of a difference there will be.
If for one you are worried about the hymen and the first blood, hymens break naturally all the time, thru tampons, sports, some women never have them. So thats really not something a man should look for anyways.
Vaginas don't stretch and stay after having sex, the hotdog down a hallway euphamism isn't exactly right
In an ideal world I, and others would porbably say to tell him. In a relationship something as trivial as that should be easily and openly talked about, especially if it is a big deal to him. Unfortunatly its not an ideal world.
IMHO I dont think you should enter a life long commitment if you are worried about what he will say. If he loved you he would understand, and if he doesnt understand you shouldnt be getting married.
Should you tell him? Yes.
He should know about your past. If he's not a virgin himself then he shouldn't have a problem with you not being a virgin. If he does have a problem then he's a hypocrite.
On a side note, your username means 'naked man'...
It doesn't pre-determine who you are at all.
Secondly. You are lying.
Definitely!
are religious beliefs a part of this problem?
Yup totally agree!
He loves who he thinks you are. I think you should tell him the truth, not much of a start to the marriage if you don't.
but pose yourself these scenarios:
you tell him now, you talk about it, you tell him why you told him you were a virgin in the first place and work from there.
your married, you consumate, he notices...
He doesnt notice, yet for some compelling reason years down the line you tell him.
whats worse?
better entering into a marriage with NO secrets.
Also, if you tell him this now, although he might be a bit angry, he knows he will be able to trust you
Mike
I'd vote for honesty.
:yes:
Marriage is for life.
So your decision is now, because the longer you leave it the worse it gets.
Do you tell him now, work it through (it's not a big deal anyway, I would be upset if someone lied to me, but not because they weren't a virgin), get married and live happily ever after.
Or get married and live with this lie for the rest of your life.
Trust me, the guilt will eat away at you and sap what is good out of your relationship.
Seriously, why the hell do people make lies like this up anyway? It just hurts everyone involved, and it's completely and utterly pointless. It's like shooting yourself and everyone around you in the head. Do a cost benefit analysis, there's no benefit at all, whatever the outcome you still lose - you get to live with guilt or he finds out.
just tell him the truth, if he really loves you he willunderstand. You dont have to go into detail about how many time unless he asks but i would recommend that you do tell him before you get married.
Have a clean slate before becoming his wife. :thumb:
like someone else said details arent important but he should know that you arent a virgin before he marries you, your not being fair to him by pretending to be something your not, i'd ask yourself the question whether you really love him if your prepaired to lie about something like that,
You shouldn't be lying and to him it shouldn't matter.
Sounds a bit of a farce to be honest.
I don't see why he'd have a problem with you not being a virgin, but no I doubt he'd notice that you're not.