Taking a friendship to the 'next level'

Former Member

I have this friend, who I quite like, but I'm not quite sure if i'm ready to ask her out yet since we are both still in school. But then even if I do decide ask her out, how would I flirt with a friend? I mean it's not exactly like flirting with someone in a bar is it?
any help is apretiated

Former Member

With great difficulty would be my answer. You've got to suss out how she feels somehow. Do you have any inkling that the feeling you have for her is mutual?

Former Member

I find that when in the past I've ended up attracted to a friend (and subsequently gone further to a relationship) flirtaciousness was being playful, physically be more touchy i.e. more likely to play fight, innoccently mick-take, challenge them. I probably do normal stupid things - laugh more, talk more, generally come across a bit silly...dunno any more..! It's sort of automatic stuff that I do because I feel self-conscious.

Former Member

well, I'm not sure. how could i ask her? should i risk it and just ask her? sorry about being so clueless.

Former Member

danharibo wrote: »

well, I'm not sure. how could i ask her? should i risk it and just ask her? sorry about being so clueless.

That's a high-risk option, but it may be the best. However, bear in mind that she may not feel the same way. If so, don't be too down about it. But no way you'll know until you ask, ultimately. Let us know how you get on.

Former Member

so would it be best if i 'played it safe' and spent more time with her first?

Former Member

danharibo wrote: »

so would it be best if i 'played it safe' and spent more time with her first?

Yeah, why not? Might as well test the water before jumping in at the deep end. Spend more time with her.

Former Member

stargalaxy wrote: »

Yeah, why not? Might as well test the water before jumping in at the deep end. Spend more time with her.

Thanks, I'll make sure I use the steps instead of the diving board

Former Member

danharibo wrote: »

so would it be best if i 'played it safe' and spent more time with her first?

just don't be too chummy... getting friend's-zone'd goes quicker than dying in harlem with a swastika tatoo.

Former Member

well, she said she just wanted to be friends. And i didnt want to push her. I guess i'll have to make sure I don't get rushed. and i lost a bit of my trust for one of my friends

Former Member

danharibo wrote: »

well, she said she just wanted to be friends.

Then so be it. All you can hope for, is that if you are the cool guy to have around, that she changes her mind some day.
With that said, I mean, SHE has to change her mind, not YOU change HER mind.

Don't wait for it, chances are very slim.

Former Member

danharibo wrote: »

well, she said she just wanted to be friends. And i didnt want to push her. I guess i'll have to make sure I don't get rushed. and i lost a bit of my trust for one of my friends

If the friend in question was the one you fancied, it shouldn't really be anything more than a blip. You're not the first guy to look at one of his mates and think "hmm, I like this girl". For all we know, this might have enhanced your standing in the long term!

Former Member

stargalaxy wrote: »

If the friend in question was the one you fancied, it shouldn't really be anything more than a blip. You're not the first guy to look at one of his mates and think "hmm, I like this girl". For all we know, this might have enhanced your standing in the long term!

she wasn't the one I fancied, It was another.
i'm trying to flirt with her a bit