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I hate my flat mates

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
edited March 27 in Work & Study
Why do people make out that living in halls is so great? I can't stand it. The 3 girls I live with are NOISY-like till 2 in the morning they shout, bang doors, play music etc.

Then they get up at 9 and do it all again so I don't get enough sleep. They leave the kitchen in a foul tip and I am constantly having to move their stuff just so I have space to prepare my food. They never take the rubbish out, it's always me (even though I am only here 4 days a week).

They prop the fire doors open even though it's banned and every member of the flat will get fined £5 if caught.

The trouble is they are all friends and I am not friends with them and they probably slag me off behind me back as it is so I don't like to say anything. Selfish B****S.

They just seem so immature and they constantly shriek and talk in baby voices, and say HIYA even if they only saw each other 10 minutes ago.

I'm the only one who has lived away from Mummy and Daddy before which is probably why.

To be honest, they are one of the main reasons I am quitting uni. I am so unhappy living here I now go home every single weekend even though that is obviously quite expensive. Every Monday night when I'm back I am really down and usually cry. <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

There is not long to go now but I hate it.

So much of halls is whether you are similar to who you are put with-it's a complete lottery and it's very miserable if you don't like them.

I don't even like going to the kitchen when they are all in there cos I feel paranoid.

<IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
Post edited by JustV on

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I sympathize.

    My first year at college I almost suffocated my roommate as he snored away about fifteen times. Smelly, loud, inconsiderate, rude, etc...

    I was smart and didn't schedule any classes before noon the whole year. I swear to God he picked his classes early just to piss me off. Basically, it didn't do me any good to have late classes because he would wake me at 7 every morning anyway.

    At least I had my other two roommates to comiserate with.

    Can you find a room off of campus to live in? Or do you have friends that would let you crash at their place on nights when you really need sleep? I used to sleep at my girlfriends when I really needed to get some rest.

    It sounds lousy, but maybe you should try to be at "home" as little as possible. I used to camp out in the library or the bar most nights. ( With predictable results- an A average and a sore liver!

    Have you tried to confront them about their filthiness? I found shame worked the best with my roommate. I brought a really pretty friend home once when I knew he would be there and basically let her express her disgust with his side of the room, the next day it was cleaner. (of course men are a little more easily manipulated like that)

    Don't quit school though. They might be filthy idiots but you can't let them bring you down too. Just remind yourself that most people aren't like that and the next time you get room assignments just based on the law of averages you'll do better. From what you say about them, you have nowhere to go but up. Get a calendar and count down the days. Don't worry about what they say about you behind your back because do you really care what those pitiful excuses for human beings think?

    Good luck. I hope it works out for you or at least gets a little better.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Try not to give up on Uni yet, is it possible to apply for a transfer sayign taht you are --><-- close to quitting.

    Your education is worth putting up with it, there isnt very long until the end of term now. At least wait until after the Easter break.

    *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey thanks for the advice <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    I have made my mind up about leaving uni now, it's not just down to my flat mates though.

    The original plan was that my b/f get a transfer to work in Cardiff and we would live together in the second year. Then he got made redundant so this was a no no, and after I got back after Christmas all my flatmates had got a house together for next year and keep going on about it. <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    The course is ok but very "up in the air" and I have applied for a journalism course in Birmingham so *fingers crossed*. If I don't get onto that I'm going to do open uni cos as long as I pass the first year in Cardiff I can skip the first part of the open uni course.

    People make out that uni is the best time of your life and it's very hard if you don't love it, I'm not trying to make anyone feel sorry for me, but when you are having fun please look out for those on the edge.

    <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To USC Alex- at least I don't have to share a room! Argh, that is my idea of hell! It's bad enoguh sharing a bathrom and kitchen!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey I am in a similar situation

    The people on my corridor are the loudest people in the world, I dream of kicking the shit out of them....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whilst I'm in the lucky position of being someone who could sleep through World War 3 (IF I do get woken up I won't remember it in the morning or just be confused and go back to sleep). I love being in halls and I love the fact its vibrant and stuff is going on. Some might say... be more sociable and loosen up because its only for a year, and its pretty damn cool to live in halls.

    ON THE OTHER HAND if the people are right fuckers there's not a lot you can do. I mean, if you can't beat them OR join them then probably the best thing for you to do is move halls... (which in Manchester at least seems pretty easy)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Toadborg:
    <STRONG>Hey I am in a similar situation

    The people on my corridor are the loudest people in the world, I dream of kicking the shit out of them....</STRONG>
    *dreams the same dream*
    Or at least I would if I ever got any sleep <IMG SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh honey - I'm really sorry that it's ignorant and unsympathetic people who are driving you away from university. I would love to see you stick it out and refuse to let them get the upper hand, but I know well that it's often just too unbearable.

    However, I'm also pretty convinced by what you're saying that that the problem isn't just your flatmates - am i right? I only say this because I often find that i become incredibly intolerant of other people in general when there are other, more pressing, things on my mind. I don't mean that the problem is all within you and that everyone else is being reasonable - just that an inability to deal with other people (in general terms) is often a symptom of something else bothering you.

    Living with other people and putting up with their anti-social habits is dreadful, especially if they're not someone you love ie. family, spouses. But I'd ask yourself what exactly it is you want out of university life anyway. You're obviously much more mature and settled than your average just-out-of-home first year anyway, and you know that now so halls is a no-no.

    I hope you find a way to do exactly what you want to do without the added stress of an unpleasant home life. Take some time out to think.

    Have a hug too. There, there..... <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey scone beast, what you say probably has a lot of truth to it, when I am fed up I am quite intolerant but maybe I just expect too much of other people hey?

    Thanks for the nice comments, made me feel a whole lot better <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> It is not long to go now (and shit I will probably fail anyway as my heart is not in it)and next year I can have a crack at something else!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Life's too short to be unhappy. I think you're really brave and your stong will can only take you places.....

    During my freshers week (way back in the mists of time....) one guy, also in his first week, committed suicide. I never fully understood how you could get yourself to that stage within a few days. Obviously i didn't know him so couldn't possibly judge him at all, but it saddens me that people can't persevere or ask for help.

    University can be stressful, but it's not the be all and end all of existence. <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When I was in halls, I was plagued by noisy dance music playing at 2am, a filthy kitchen, food going missing and late-night false fire alarms but I put up with it because there were some advantages to staying in halls. Cooked breakfasts, the annual dinner, the warden's cheese and wine evenings and a decent social life made it all worth it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A student from my uni was found dead in his room, he had told his flat mates he was going home for the weekend so they did not find him for several days <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> So sad.

    Luckily I am not that bad and I have a fairly good home life with my fella so I have someone close who I can talk to.

    I know that some unis (Manchester I think) make students do surveys about their personality to decide who lives with who. Complicated, but a good idea at least in theory.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by * k-t *:
    <STRONG>I know that some unis (Manchester I think) make students do surveys about their personality to decide who lives with who. Complicated, but a good idea at least in theory.</STRONG>

    And unfortunately, often proved wrong.

    In my first year, I was in the County College, which is the only college where a kitchen is shared between up to 20 students. There were some nights when I wanted to scream and shout at people all the time because of noise. Luckily my best mate lived across the corridor so I'd go into her room and get quietly drunk while the world raged past... Drink is a good sedative.
    Once though, I lost my rag and broke a guy's nose 'cos he kept knocking on my door, opening it, yelling at me and slamming the door shut whilst I was trying to write a really important essay. Luckily nothing came of it, but I learnt the fun of library solitude after that...

    Good luck in whatever you do KT. Take care.

    CD <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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