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Paranoid or not?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Right, this is probably just a stream of absolute nonsense but read it if you're bored or whatever.
I like this girl at work, and have done for about six weeks or so. Been decent vibes I've been getting off her too, I know she knows I like her and we've been having banter all the time etc.
So tonight me, her and a couple of othert people from work go out for drinks. There's this guy I'm best pals with at work, sound as fuck bloke and keeps telling me how much respect he's got for me and how he'd never do anything to hurt me and stuff. But lately he's been having the same banter with this girl as I've been, but they seem to be very touchy feely and stuff. He's always said I can do better than her and how he wouldn't go near her, but there's deffo been flirting there.
So tonight we're in the pub, and they keep nipping off for ciggies outside. My mate then asks me if I want some coke, I say yeah and then they fuck off for about bhalf an hour, comes back with her all giggling and laughing and he's only got coke for him and Jade - "oooh sorry dude we forgot about you"! When they were away I was talking to this other girl she knows and she said there's a bit of chemistry between me and Jade and how her and my mate just seem to be pals.
Then later on we go to this pub across the road, he knows I'm pissed off at him for flirting with her but says there's nothing going on. Then all night she just sits watching him play pool, so I get up and leave in a huff. Like 30 seconds after I'm out of the pub I get a voicemail off her saying how she's mad that I never said bye and how she wants me to phone her back NOW and how she's gonna batter me on Monday for not saying bye.
He then texts me telling me to grow up (fair enough point I suppose) and I text him telling him to enjoy his night and make sure she gets home OK in a taxi or whatever.
I'm just fed up of all these games and stuff, cause I'm 24 now. Granted walking out of the pub was a bit childish but I know most people do look after Number 1 nowadays and I'd expect him to go for her if the chemistry was right. I'm not going out with the girl, but it's a bit of a ballache when your best mate at work decides to openly flirt with the girl you're well into, even though she's as free as a bird and i feel like a dick for even having an issue with this.
Can anybody see what I'm on abotu or where I'm coming from? I feel like a paranoid twat in all honesty, but I'm sure this is going to end up as a big pain one way or another?
I like this girl at work, and have done for about six weeks or so. Been decent vibes I've been getting off her too, I know she knows I like her and we've been having banter all the time etc.
So tonight me, her and a couple of othert people from work go out for drinks. There's this guy I'm best pals with at work, sound as fuck bloke and keeps telling me how much respect he's got for me and how he'd never do anything to hurt me and stuff. But lately he's been having the same banter with this girl as I've been, but they seem to be very touchy feely and stuff. He's always said I can do better than her and how he wouldn't go near her, but there's deffo been flirting there.
So tonight we're in the pub, and they keep nipping off for ciggies outside. My mate then asks me if I want some coke, I say yeah and then they fuck off for about bhalf an hour, comes back with her all giggling and laughing and he's only got coke for him and Jade - "oooh sorry dude we forgot about you"! When they were away I was talking to this other girl she knows and she said there's a bit of chemistry between me and Jade and how her and my mate just seem to be pals.
Then later on we go to this pub across the road, he knows I'm pissed off at him for flirting with her but says there's nothing going on. Then all night she just sits watching him play pool, so I get up and leave in a huff. Like 30 seconds after I'm out of the pub I get a voicemail off her saying how she's mad that I never said bye and how she wants me to phone her back NOW and how she's gonna batter me on Monday for not saying bye.
He then texts me telling me to grow up (fair enough point I suppose) and I text him telling him to enjoy his night and make sure she gets home OK in a taxi or whatever.
I'm just fed up of all these games and stuff, cause I'm 24 now. Granted walking out of the pub was a bit childish but I know most people do look after Number 1 nowadays and I'd expect him to go for her if the chemistry was right. I'm not going out with the girl, but it's a bit of a ballache when your best mate at work decides to openly flirt with the girl you're well into, even though she's as free as a bird and i feel like a dick for even having an issue with this.
Can anybody see what I'm on abotu or where I'm coming from? I feel like a paranoid twat in all honesty, but I'm sure this is going to end up as a big pain one way or another?
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Comments
They might have something going on but dont kno0w how to tell you?
You should ask her straight if theres anything going on with her and him, if not, ask if she wants to go out with you sometime...
Some girls just like attention and are flirty with anyone who is flirty towards them... In which case there may be nothing going on with her and your 'mate'.
As for your mate though... He's not really acting like a friend. I'd have words with him if I were you... find out what's going on.
But... If she is unaware of your feelings for her then she's not going to hold off flirting with other guys; so you're going to have to sit and watch her being flirty unless you do something about it.
I personally would've clocked the bastard after a while. Immature or not, it would've felt amazing.
Yeah, it's the worst kept secret in our team. I'm not sure what's happening but we both know and we've both been having the same banter and stuff so it'll cool.
Dunno if I've explained about this guy properly. He's a really good guy, keeps saying how he'd never do anything to hurt me and how he thinks a lot of me (to the point of my sheer embarrasment). But he's got the gift of the gab, he's a bit older than me and he's got a lot more to say for himself, he's a lot more "blokey" aswell. I'd like to be a bit more like him, to be honest.
Thing is, I don't know if I'm being paranoid or not because I don't really trust my own judgement on stuff like this these days. It's not like I'm going out with her or that so it'd be my own problem if they did end up going out. I'd be a bit gutted deep down, but I'd be chuffed for them because everybody wanst their friends to be happy y'know?
Only once you know this can you make your next move.
I think she is playing games with you, trying to provoke you into asking her out. If she didn't care about you she wouldn't have noticed you go, she did notice and I think she's testing your reactions. A lot of girls do it to see just how serious you are.
You need to know where you stand. I think you like her, and I think she likes you, but if you arse about much longer you'll get muscled off the ball. I really think you need to cut the crap and ask her out- alone- for a drink or a meal, and see where it goes.
All the way through I think she's had the hots for you, much as you are scared to admit it.
It seems your mate has a bit of a thing for her especially if he's telling you he wouldn't go near here but then starts flirting with her.
Does she know you like her more than a friend?
She might like you too but at the moment it sounds like she's enjoying the attention from both sides and just having fun.
Today's update, the banter's been going on. Michelle McManus cropped up in conversation and this guy Steve asked if I would and I was like "I do think she's got a really nice face and all that" and she piped up about how I've not got a bad word to say about anybody and how I'm a nice boy and stuff. Cue massive beamer. Today we just spoke a load about random stuff really.
We did have a word about Friday, she says it was a shame I went away and left her then she goes and says something about her mate being in hospital and her drinking a bottle of Diet coke with vodka in it, not really sure what that had to do with the price of fish but there we go. I know that he's been texting her over the weekend though (I'm not meant to know that though!) and all the rest of it.
I think this comes down me to me getting the guts to make a move. She's never away from her bloody mate though!
Go for it mate, it's been 6 weeks or so now... Just drag her off somewhere if needs be!
If you don't you'll regret it, and I think the girl seems to like you enough to let you down gently even if she isn't interested in you like that.
Give it a go, seriously, friend or not. I think you have a good chance, it sounds like it.
If you let it go on much longer you'll either become too much of a good friend for her to see you sexually, or she'll find someone else.
Messing about today, throwing balls of paper over the desk at each other. Then I was talking about the other guy who likes her about something work related and she says "Oh so are you still jealous of him then?" and then I laugh and go "Yeah, a wee bit!" and she said there's no need to be.
Then later I'm speaking to this boy Steve on our team and he said she knows fine well I'm proper into her (he's been sending emails to her from what I've seen over his shoulder) and that I should ask her out. Thinking about it, if she's known all about it and she's still been friendly and flirty then that's maybe a good sign?
I'll ask her what she's doing for the game on Saturday and if she fancies meeting up in town after it.
Good luck!
He doesn't know that I know though, and he was being as nice as pie to me yesterday by text. Somebody feels guilty.
No need to though, like I said earlier she's as free as a bird and it's not my business. They're both my friends and I want them both to be happy, going to be awkward as fuck at work on Monday especially because I'm pretending I'm not that bothered about it.
Sorry to hear. Good luck at work tomorrow.
You snooze, you lose. Sorry mate.
But yes, you left it too long. That's happened plenty of times to me as often I just won't be forward enough of make a move (which you may find it hard to believe after some of my posts on here) due to a deeply buried shy streak that sometimes comes to the surface.
I'm a little confused as to why she was asking you if you were still jealous of that other guy etc when she ended up going on home with him a few days later.
Not a clue what's going on in all honesty.
Things haven't even been that awkward, we moved to a different desk so we're sat next to each other and spend most of the day yapping and turning each others monitors off. She's off now till next week, yesterday she was all touchy feely and asking if I'd miss her. I just said no in a cheeky way just out of instinct and she seemed put out. Seriously, do birds really do this shit if they aren't interested?
My mate's been acting like a dick all week though, yesterday he was laughing and giggling with Jade's mate every time me and her were talking. Then he started on infront of her about how I kissed her on the cheek on Friday night, just to stir thing up.
Not a clue what's going on, fed up of all the mind games. Like I say she's off till next week and she says she'll text me at the weekend. Fuck knows what the script is now like.
Good luck!!! x
I do honestly think they?re both genuine people and I do think a lot of them both so I?m not sure they would go and do that and not give a fuck about it. My mate knows I?ve got feelings for her and that I?m dead fond of her, I do consider him a really good mate so if he is fucking about then he?s bloody good at hiding it.
But she?s off till next Wednesday anyway, so no point thinking about it till then I suppose.
Why give him the respect you so obviously lavish upon him if he doesn't give it to you?
Agreed, this "mate" of yours does sound like a twat.
your mate doesn't sound the nicest of guys when you read through the post, but that's probably because you're a bit pissed off with him. it's always worse with someone you like when a mate's involved: makes it more complicated.
my advice would be to try and stay pals with them both, go out, and meet some new girls. (:
Yep, the female mind is the most fucked up thing ever. Why would anyone want to do that?
ETA: Shit one Bri, better luck next time mate.