Long distance relationships

Former Member

Me again... It's just these kind of things interest me and I wanted to know what you guys think.

Have you ever been in work?
Did it work?
If so, for how long, and are you still together?
If not, how come, and how long did you last?

Thanks in advance

littlemissy

I was in one. I lived in Edinburgh, he lived in Sheffield. We did the long distance thing for more than 6 months and then I moved in with him and we have since gotten married.

LDRs can work if both parties are committed. They are extremely hard work, can be emotionally taxing, but worth it if you are prepared to put in the effort. I know of couples who have done it across countries before and it worked out so it is possible

Former Member

I'm in one at the moment. I moved away beginning of Sept. It is difficult cos he works different hours to me, meaning that it's hard work to actually find time to see and speak to each other. But when we do it makes it more special. We're both completely committed to the relationship and tbh things are absolutely fantastic between us.

I have been in them before though when I haven't been completely committed to the rel and they've not worked because I just haven't seen the point in the hassle and emotional hurt caused by them.

Former Member

I'm in one, been in it almost 2 years. 200 miles distance. I see him as and when really, he drives around alot for work so if he happens to be passing by he stops for a few hours or maybe even stays over. I see him once a month if i'm lucky, but the time passes so quickly.

Former Member

I'm in one.

Started off as Essex-London, which was hard enough, but now it's Newcastle-London (about 400 miles I think) and it's horrible. We've been together 14 and a half months though, and still going strong. We got engaged about a month ago . It is very hard, I only see him every other weekend and I do find it difficult when I'm sitting in on my own and he's out with his friends but we both really want it to work so we're staying positive. We do have bad days, but it always works out .

Former Member

I'm really missing my Mr Age Gap LDR Is it just me who gets really clingy/misses their partner excessively in between meetings.

This is hard work!

Former Member

Curvy_lass wrote: »

I'm really missing my Mr Age Gap LDR Is it just me who gets really clingy/misses their partner excessively in between meetings.

I ended up in tears on Saturday night because he wasn't there.

I think that says it all really.

Bunnie

rachie004 wrote: »

I think its fine if you are both totally committed and one of both of you are prepared to make the move to be closer/live together because really, it can't go on forever.

This is completely true, if you cant see either of you wanting to move in the future, it just won't happen unfortunately.

I did the move, and I left everything behind, but I don't regret it, as I get to be with him every day, which I think I personallt appreciate more than those who haven't been in LDRs as you know what it is like for them to not be there.

I wouldn't do it again though, it was too much heartache, so I am sticking here now!

Former Member

I'm in a LDR at the moment - Essex to London, which in distance isn't too bad but it still takes about 2 hours to get there *grump*. We lived together before and it wasn't working out so we've gone back to our respective home towns. I think that you do have to be very committed to the relationship and you have to be prepared to give up some things - like 'your' social life every two weeks as you'll be with them. We're seeing how it goes for the next few months and then maybe reassessing the situation - either carrying on as is or moving in together. We've been doing it now for the last 5 months, hopefully it'll work out.

Former Member

Bunnie wrote: »

This is completely true, if you cant see either of you wanting to move in the future, it just won't happen unfortunately.

I did the move, and I left everything behind, but I don't regret it, as I get to be with him every day, which I think I personallt appreciate more than those who haven't been in LDRs as you know what it is like for them to not be there.

I wouldn't do it again though, it was too much heartache, so I am sticking here now!

thats what you think! :P

only joking, it was hard, but its worth it if you stick at it, involved a lot of grumpy driving the 130miles every other weekend, but you get used to it after a while.

now she's here, its all fine, she has to become a burnlier and never leave. its too good a place to leave really.

Former Member

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Former Member

Curvy_lass wrote: »

Me again... It's just these kind of things interest me and I wanted to know what you guys think.

Have you ever been in work?
Did it work?
If so, for how long, and are you still together?
If not, how come, and how long did you last?

Thanks in advance

I met my boyfriend via friends, who met him online. He lived over 300 miles away. We were together for only a few weeks before he moved to my home town to live with some of the aforementioned friends. I didn't like the long distance thing to be honest. I missed him like crazy, but then we were in the 'honeymoon' stage. He used to drive here every Friday after work and he was so tired that he would be grumpy all weekend and then not want to go home on the Sunday so would stay an extra day.

I'd agree with others who say that one person will have to move in the end.

Former Member

I see this thread is a bit old. but id like to comment as im in... a kinda long distance relationship. I go to boarding school, and i come home every 4 to 6 weeks. My other half lives over there so i dont see him very often. When im home, i live 15 minutes walk from him. But I'm now moving to the other side of belgium (I live in belgium btw :P) which is going to be an hour and a half from him! he drives, and i can take the train, so we're determined to make it work. The only thing is, when im home (not too often) I see him every day. And after moving, Im rarely going to see him! I know like BumbleBee says, one of us will have to move in the end. But for the moment, I'm stubborn and refuse to give up!
Also they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder!

Former Member

Just to even it out a bit.. I was in a LDR and, well, now I'm not. It worked fine for two and a bit years, but when stress at work got to me and studying for his final uni exams got to him, it crumbled.

The travelling and 'envy' of other people seeing your bf/gf every day but you not being able to was never an issue. It was the fact that the distance gave my ex-bf (by his own admission) the opportunity to switch off and not have to be there for me if he felt he didn't have the time - he'd just switch his phone off and obviously I couldn't just turn up on his doorstep instead of calling because I was 2 hours away.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you have to be able to give the extra support over the phone/email/MSN/webcam that usually just hugs would provide if you lived round the corner from each other - a trait which my dear ex was severly lacking! :rolleyes:

Former Member

I was in one. It sucked. If possible I try to avoid it from now on.

Former Member

I'm in one kind of now, been together for 1 yr and 2 months
Well my bf is at uni about 1.5/2hrs away from me and when he's at uni i maybe see him about once/twice a month. Basically he has 4/5 weeks break at easter and xmas and bout 2/3 months in the summer so i see him nearly every day then. During term time i go stay with him for like 5 days when i have half term (im in sixth form) and he comes back 2 weekends out of the 10 weekends he has in his term, but because i stay and he gets long hols its ok. its hard when he's not here and i get really stressy when we're apart but i think he think its worth it for the great times we have when we're together. hope it will work as we love each other very much

Former Member

I was in one for a couple of months, Leeds-Banbury (3 hours by train) but then I moved back to uni and it became Leeds-York which was better and I spent about 80% of my time with him and commuted to uni anyway. One of you definitely has to move for it to work out though - I've moved to Leeds with him now and it's great. I'm glad we had the LDR at the start though because it made me know what it was like to miss him.

Former Member

I'm in one now... and I'm married!

We got married in December, but due to various things, I can't move up to be with him until the beginning of May. It is very difficult, but I'm counting down the days

Former Member

Have you ever been in one? YES

Did it work? FOR A WHILE BUT IN THE END IT WAS JUST TO MUCH!

If so, for how long, and are you still together? 2 YEARS WE WERE TOGETHER, BUT ONLY SAW EACH OTHER ABOUT 3 TIMES A YEAR THINK IF WE HAD SEEN EACH OTHER MORE IT COULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT. IT STARTED AS A CYBER RELATIONSHIP WE TALKED EVERYDAY TOLD EACH OTHER ALL OUR SECRETS AND WROTE SOPPY LOVE LETTERS TO EACH ALL DAY LONG IT WAS GREAT, REALLY ROMANTIC I HAVE NO REGRETS, BUT SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED SOMTHING PHYSICAL!