If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
Can Univserity Have a Negative impact?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Not sure if this should be in Relationships or another section really, so thought i would put it here and if it needs to be moved, so be it.
Im just wondering what people think about the idea that University can have a negative impact on a person? Or maybe not have a negative impact, maybe it just changes them in a way that makes them do things that they would never have done?
Quite afew of my friends who are younger then i am have recently gone to University and afew others have, like me finished University. I never noticed before whether it had any effect on me, i personally don't think it did. And in the case of friends that are my age they all seemed to stay pretty much the way they had always been.
But some of my younger friends who have only just started university seem different. Lots of them have really taken it on well and are more happy, more confident and generally having the best time of there lives ever! BUT one of my friends who is happy, is doing things i never thought she would do. She has a new boyfriend but is cheating on him all the time and bragging about it to her friends like me. Another close mate is really unhappy and talking about dropping out already and coming home, taking year out then going to University here and staying at home.
I know these are just a couple of cases, but i wondered what people thought, or what your own experiences have been?
Did anyone find University a bad part of their lives? Or did anyone find it changed them and make them serial cheats or something like that? Or did it have no effect on you at all?
Im just wondering what people think about the idea that University can have a negative impact on a person? Or maybe not have a negative impact, maybe it just changes them in a way that makes them do things that they would never have done?
Quite afew of my friends who are younger then i am have recently gone to University and afew others have, like me finished University. I never noticed before whether it had any effect on me, i personally don't think it did. And in the case of friends that are my age they all seemed to stay pretty much the way they had always been.
But some of my younger friends who have only just started university seem different. Lots of them have really taken it on well and are more happy, more confident and generally having the best time of there lives ever! BUT one of my friends who is happy, is doing things i never thought she would do. She has a new boyfriend but is cheating on him all the time and bragging about it to her friends like me. Another close mate is really unhappy and talking about dropping out already and coming home, taking year out then going to University here and staying at home.
I know these are just a couple of cases, but i wondered what people thought, or what your own experiences have been?
Did anyone find University a bad part of their lives? Or did anyone find it changed them and make them serial cheats or something like that? Or did it have no effect on you at all?
0
Comments
I think the freedom goes to some people's heads and they become a bit selfish, some people become risk-takers (drinking too much, sleeping around too much, etc) and some people find it hard to make friends and become reclusive.
For me uni was bittersweet. I met some good people, I had my first proper girlfriend, I had a good time and got a fairly good degree at the end of it all. I did find it hard to settle, though, and had two major nervous breakdowns in three years.
Other than that, it's fucking sweet and I'm really loving my course.
It has changed me... I'm much more of a hard worker, in fact I think I'm obsessed with work now. I'm a different person, I'm very confident and sociable and outgoing. I used to by a shy waster.
I don't get along with some people now like I used to, they've said since I went to uni I've changed from the worse... I don't give a shit tbh, I'm able to do things for me now and not live my life for others.
I think that going away to university is good for a lot of people. Depends on the person.
My second year was a MASSIVE change though in my life, i went out more, met more people, had better times in general and i think it wasnt until my second year that i finally coped with the university life.
Though i feel i wasted my 3rd and final year considerably. I let the stress of writing my dissertation get to me and fucked it up anyways.
I never stressed to the point of dropping out, but i think having my family & friends near by anyways meant it wasnt as hard to be at university anyway.
:yes: totally agree....i feel sorry for people who cant expeience uni!
I think I'm much more laid back about things, but some other things I get more frustrated with.
I do notice the difference between people who have been to uni and people who I left behind at home, they're just different. And GOD all freshers that I know of are just hyper and tiring! I'm sure they'll get over it, it's only the first term!
Freedom makes people do strange things, ultimately. Most people at university are away from home for the first time in their lives. For the first time, their parents aren't there to tell them when they need to be back home, and what they can and can't do. You have almost total freedom. And that makes people do things they previously would never have contemplated. Hence why one girl I know who's been through university became a bed-hopping maniac when she was there, for instance.
On the other hand, near total freedom has its downsides. Everyone needs certain boundaries in their lives, and certain consistencies. From the day we are born, we appreciate some stability in our lives. Such things don't appear to change at university. Having to stand up on your own two feet forces you to grow up in many ways. You have to do your own washing, for instance. You have to pay the rent, you have to keep up with your studies. And all with no one else there to tell you when to do your homework. It requires a certain efficiency and self-discipline - and not everyone is up to that.
:shocking:
Thats it, I'm dropping my course.
Such responsibilities are there without moving into uni halls. Say if you were to move away from your parents into your own home and were working full time for a living, you'd still have to deal with these things.
By in large, take the chance to move out, get used to it (you'll have to) and move forward.
Either way, if you live in halls, I think you're sheltered, in some ways. For example, you're unlikely to have to pay bills. And if you're in catered halls, that's fewer meals to worry about. Oh yes, and there's usually security, of course. Some of the things you don't have when you live in the community in any capacity. Living in halls just means you get longer to adjust and more time to take on certain responsibilities.
Get out, get on with it!