moving in

Former Member

how soon is to soon before moving in, like how long should you wait?

Former Member

Depends on the situation..i would personally wait a few months at the very least.
In my case, Ive waited 3 years

Former Member

well me and my bf have been together nearly 3 months and whilst he was home i was always staying at his and he wanted that now hes at uni an hours drive away and im having living arrangement probs at home. Easiest thing is ot live together just so we don't have the problem of when we'll be seeing each other next and im out of the situation at home and the jobs available near him are so much more in my reach than here. but although at first he said it was fine to stay at his i think it was just that he felt sorry for me and now he thinks its too soon. but when you think in 2 months we saw each other everyday and stayed with each other almost every night it doesn't seem too sonn just convinient but i dunno and now i just sorta feel a little sad. i don't wanna rush things with him i want us to work well but i just dunno

Former Member

Well personally I think moving in after a few months is a little bit too soon.

I understand what you mean though, it would be conveniant and if you've spent everyday with eachother anyway and everything's fine, then of course it's your decision.

Just be careful though, moving in is a big step and if things don't work out between you, then it could turn ugly.

Former Member

I'd say that's a bit too soon. You're still swept up in it all at this time.

Former Member

I think the right time to move in together is when you're living at eachothers practically all the time anyway and probably six months in or so.

I know a couple of my friends who moved in together (well she got kicked out of her house so there wasn't much choice in the matter) after a month of going out with eachother it completely destroyed them both and although they stuck it out for nearly a year they grew to hate eachother. Needless to say they aren't together any more.

Another couple of friends I know moved in together after six months or so and it worked out really well she still lives with him now and they are really happy.

It varies from couple to couple but I think it's always best if it's not rushed.

Former Member

I moved in with my boyfriend after being together just short of a year, but I had spent most of that year staying at his anyway so it wasn't a very big transition to make. I do think that 3 months is soon, especially as he is saying it's not a good idea.

Have you thought of all the practial aspects of it as well, like paying the rent and the bills, food shopping etc rather than just "woo I want to live with my bf"?

**helen**

PRETTYgreenEYES wrote: »

Easiest thing is ot live together just so we don't have the problem of when we'll be seeing each other next and im out of the situation at home and the jobs available near him are so much more in my reach than here.

Or your other option is to find a shared house in his area - that way you would still be near him to be able to see him more often, but you both still have your independence - and you could still get a job there. Then in six months or so you could see how you both feel and if you'd still like to live together. I think if there's any doubt or feelings of pressure related to living together then it's best to wait just a little longer. Hope it all works out for the best

Former Member

Knee High Stripy Socks wrote: »

he is saying it's not a good idea.

I think that is the most important thing to consider. I don't think he feels ready for that step and IMO that kinda makes it a non starter.

Former Member

Depends on the couple and the circumstances. I moved in with my boyfriend after about 5 - 6 months.

Former Member

Me and the other half were practically living together about a month after we started going out, but that said i'd sometimes go home and we'd have time apart. We got married 11 months after we started going out and moving in together permanently was totally different to practically living together.

He found out about my messiness and hate for cleaning, i found out about his snoring, sleep talking/walking and that was the least of our worries. But to be fair i think that will happen whenever you move in with someone, the key is making sure your relationship has reached the stage where it can survive those things.

Former Member

we've spoken about it and we're just gonna think about it and see how htings go which is fair enough either way i've got to move in out in the new year as me andmy sister share a room and shes having a baby next month and thats 3 of us in a room as we just don't have the space.

Former Member

who knows. I think it's different for different people, but in your case it probably would be better to wait until you can get a place for just the two of you, without your sister being there?

Former Member

hes at uni at the mo living in shared housing so just gonna see how things go while i'm home i just gonna split my time between his uni and my aunts and occasionally will sleep in my mums room and now and again my sis will stay elsewhere to to give us all a break

Former Member

I don't think the time is the issue, him saying it's too soon means that it won't, or shouldn't, happen yet.

If you hate it at home you could move to the same town as him, and see him more. Just because you can't live with him doesn't mean you shouldn't move.

Former Member

I'd say 3 months is a bit soon. I've been with my guy nearly 2 years and couldn't put up with him full time! But saying that, we work together so it's a bit different.

If things at home are difficult then maybe look at moving in with a friend?

Former Member

I don't think time is the main issue here. Its moving in for the right reasons. If you are going to move in because it's convienant or because you are not getting on with your parents then it may not be the best idea to go for it. Basically you have to want to move in together an the goals/plans need to be the same for both of you.