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Ex's... (Partly another rant, so sorry in advance)
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, does anyone else find it hard to deal with their ex's when their ex's are being particularly harsh towards you? Especially when you are having a hard time of things for whatever reason?
Example, My ex, that i thought i was over, and had no problems with, until now... we were friends for a while after splitting up but that all went to hell. Things are a little crap for me, not met anyone new in a while, not feeling well because i am ill and generally just not at my best. Then i go onto myspace and see a quiz by my ex, only afew days after she calls me up to have ago at me, blame me for all the problems we have ever had and say some pretty nasty things to me. The questions of the quiz are like, "Do you have an ex?" and "Do you like to fall asleep alone or with someone?" and her answers are unneccessary detailed in that she goes on at length about hating me and never ever wanting to talk to me again and then in extreme detail about how she has started having sex with a guy she met afew days ago.
Now, i know that might not seem like a big deal, but normally she wouldnt put that sort of stuff on the net for people to read, but as she knew id see it and read it she did it on purpose to get to me, it is just the way she has been lately.
She is the one who said she never wanted to talk to me and blamed me for our arguments by saying i said things to her i never did and then talking over me when i pointed out she was saying things that werent even true. She essentially looked for excuses to get nasty at me and throw it in my face while claiming to want to work things out and remain friends, yet she is now making sure she gets to me even though she isnt talking to me and supposedly never wants me in her life again.
I dont know if i am overreacting to the situation because i'm not having the best time at the moment or whether im looking for more then there is or what, but i feel really angry at the way she treated me, showing no respect or anything and then blamed me for it all like she was completely in the right while lying about what happened to justify herself.
I am trying not to be bothered and just get out and have fun, but these things are in the back of my mind. The love of my life turns out to be the most heartbreaking bitch i have ever known and even all this time after we split up she is still managing to be hurtful and actually go out of her way to be nasty.
It all makes me feel angry and want Karma and fairness. I just want everyone to see the real her and how she really is rather this pretend imagine she shows to people, so they can all see her for what she is.
Argh, i hate obsessing about this stuff, i hate the dramas of it all and i really get sick of the fact i can't stop it bothering me even when i try to ignore it and avoid it. I don't even think i want a girlfriend right now either, not really, i just feel like i have been left behind where as she has moved on and i don't know why i am hung up when i shouldnt be.
Sorry to rant on for so long. Thanks to anyone who actually reads it though.
Example, My ex, that i thought i was over, and had no problems with, until now... we were friends for a while after splitting up but that all went to hell. Things are a little crap for me, not met anyone new in a while, not feeling well because i am ill and generally just not at my best. Then i go onto myspace and see a quiz by my ex, only afew days after she calls me up to have ago at me, blame me for all the problems we have ever had and say some pretty nasty things to me. The questions of the quiz are like, "Do you have an ex?" and "Do you like to fall asleep alone or with someone?" and her answers are unneccessary detailed in that she goes on at length about hating me and never ever wanting to talk to me again and then in extreme detail about how she has started having sex with a guy she met afew days ago.
Now, i know that might not seem like a big deal, but normally she wouldnt put that sort of stuff on the net for people to read, but as she knew id see it and read it she did it on purpose to get to me, it is just the way she has been lately.
She is the one who said she never wanted to talk to me and blamed me for our arguments by saying i said things to her i never did and then talking over me when i pointed out she was saying things that werent even true. She essentially looked for excuses to get nasty at me and throw it in my face while claiming to want to work things out and remain friends, yet she is now making sure she gets to me even though she isnt talking to me and supposedly never wants me in her life again.
I dont know if i am overreacting to the situation because i'm not having the best time at the moment or whether im looking for more then there is or what, but i feel really angry at the way she treated me, showing no respect or anything and then blamed me for it all like she was completely in the right while lying about what happened to justify herself.
I am trying not to be bothered and just get out and have fun, but these things are in the back of my mind. The love of my life turns out to be the most heartbreaking bitch i have ever known and even all this time after we split up she is still managing to be hurtful and actually go out of her way to be nasty.
It all makes me feel angry and want Karma and fairness. I just want everyone to see the real her and how she really is rather this pretend imagine she shows to people, so they can all see her for what she is.
Argh, i hate obsessing about this stuff, i hate the dramas of it all and i really get sick of the fact i can't stop it bothering me even when i try to ignore it and avoid it. I don't even think i want a girlfriend right now either, not really, i just feel like i have been left behind where as she has moved on and i don't know why i am hung up when i shouldnt be.
Sorry to rant on for so long. Thanks to anyone who actually reads it though.
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Comments
You're not overreacting, she's being personal here and really nasty. I don't know what I'd do.. I'd feel like wanting to shout at them and say "thank fuck you're out of my life you vindictive little bitch" but then at the same time I wouldn't want them thinking they'd got the better of me. Also you probably still care about her..so it's tough. Take her off your myspace friends/block her profile or whatever it is you can do (I don't use it so I'm just guessing). Stop going on her page and try to rise above it. God knows whats going on in her head but you're better off staying the fuck away from it!
Things will get better sweetie x
She will stop after a while and if she doesn't maybe get a mutal friend to have a word with her or something ? Hope it gets better soon
Hey there, I'm really sorry to read this - but I bet it helped to get it all out! The fact that she has done this doesn't suggest that she has moved on at all - in fact quite the opposite. If she had moved on and was happy with things then it's really unlikely that she would post something so nasty - if people have genuinely moved on from a relationship it means just that - they don't mention it anymore - in a public announcement or otherwise. However, no matter how hard it is, try not to compare your progress with hers as everyone moves on at different rates and if you feel you should have met someone new when you're not ready then it might lead to more stress.
I agree with Lipsy, it's in both your interests to take yourself away from the myspace situation. Whatever is going on may be out of character for her, but even so it sounds like cutting yourself off from it may well be the best option for now. When things go wrong in a relationship the easy option is to blame each other, but actually some people just aren't right for each other and it doesn't have to be anyone's fault. It can take a long time to get to that realisation though - which is why you need space to get there.
Take care x
The most important thing is not to rise to it and keep your dignity whilst she's losing hers. Getting involved in a fight isn't going to do anyone any good, although I could understand you wanting to punch her face in at the minute.
Just avoid her.
He came round at some point when me and my brother were out, and told my mum now the divorce is over (which was about 2 months ago), he doesn't want anything to do with her because 'the last 20 years were a waste of time' and he's really bitter that he 'wasted' 20 years with my mum because she 'never loved him' (she hung around for 20 years and had his kids?). Told her not to have anything to do with his side of the family, not even to take me and adam over to anyones. And also had a go at her because she never made him work his 'rest days' and they needed the money (aparrantly), even though he was in charge of finances. So he's just gone away and got ideas into his head them come over to mum and blamed her for it all.
This is when he's got a house with his gf who he's been with for about 1 1/2 years and 2 months after the divorce. And he's blaming her for things that are over. Like wtf? When people do this it's usually cause they're not over things so like to make the other person feel bad.
You are all right of course. I need to get myself completely out of her life now or get her out of mine. Just seems really difficult with it all in the back of my head, all the things i know and remember.
Essentially, i removed myself from the Myspace part of it but getting rid of her. She continued to do quizzes she knew id have a look at, questions such has "Yes or No, have you had a nap today?" she answered with "No, but i need one as my boyfriend is coming over tonight so i wont be sleeping at all in bed hahaha" So, i deleted her from my friends list and my set my profile to private to keep her away. Same with Facebook too actually.
All in all, a week on, i feel better. I have been going out with my mates a lot lately, got chatting to lots of different girls too which is always an ego boost, some of them coincidentally turned out to be my Ex's next door neighbours, but i didnt tell them that, just heard where they stayed and remembered she lived next door.
But all in all, i am doing alright and hopefully will not have to deal with her drama and bitchyness anymore. So thank you all on TheSite