Do I Or Dont I?

Former Member

Ok, my best mates missus was out last night and i found her holding hands and putting her self all over this geezer. the thing is do i say something to my best mate or not, i dont want him to find out i knew and he then cant trust me with anything but then i dont want to tell him and be in the middle of something.

Any Help Appreciated?

Former Member

The first thing I'd ask is this: what is the relationship like between you and your mates gf?

The reason I ask is because if there is any chance that your mate might think you like her too he might go on the defensive and take it the wrong way, accusing you of trying to steal her etc. It happens a lot, believe it or not.

The other thing is, how serious do you think the gf was with this other guy? Do you think it was a drunken mistake, because if so, maybe you should keep schtum and let her learn from her own mistakes (we all make them).

But if you think it could be something more serious/intended, and if you and your mate have a solid relationship, it might be worth telling him sooner rather than later, just make sure its the right time and place - for example, don't get him drunk first (that can fuel aggression).

Good luck

-Jess-

Former Member

Why not confront her? Tell her what you saw...

Former Member

Just tell him. You're his best mate so he trusts you and I think he would want to know.

Former Member

Don't tell him, you will forever be seen as the person who gave him the bad news.

Tell her what you saw and tell her that she needs to explain herself or at least come clean if she was doing something which she shouldn't have...

Former Member

Man Of Kent wrote: »

Don't tell him, you will forever be seen as the person who gave him the bad news.

Tell her what you saw and tell her that she needs to explain herself or at least come clean if she was doing something which she shouldn't have...

I'd say ask her, and just make it clear that you know but then she might throw it in his face that his mate lied to him and stuff.

Tough one. Sorry that was no help at all.

Former Member

Does she know that you saw her? if not keep quiet, if she does know then tell your mate asap, before (if) she does. If she was to tell him and also mention that you knew about it but didnt say anything...

Former Member

But if something is going on, and you keep quiet, you will be the bad one for not telling him when you knew it was going on.

I'd go with saying to her about it, almost like a light threat to scare her.

Former Member

i'd give her the chance to explain first, saying quite clearly that if she doesn't tell him, you will.

If possible that should be the extent of your involvement, but if she won't tell him you should. I'd always appreciate it if one of my friends told me something like that, rather than keeping quiet to save their own skins.

Former Member

but if she tells him first and he finds out that you knew about it and kept schtum he'll probably forget all about what she actually did and just be mad at his so called mate for not telling him

Former Member

It depends on the relationship between you and your friend. If you deliver him bad news, will he just claim you're lying and shoot the messenger? Or would he definitely believe you, because as a good friend you have no reason to make anything bad up?
I would keep out of it until you have a lot of evidence counting against his gf before you go telling anyone anything. Wait and see if she keeps throwing herself at other blokes, and confront her about her behaviour first before going to your friend.