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Trust issues -i'm annoying myself
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
:banghead:
Hi just reading some posts and thought I would add my 2 cents.
I'm a 24 year old guy and my GF is 21. We have been going out for 7 months now. She is going to turkey on Friday and I am worried sick. Firstly she is going with just one friend and if they get split up something could happen (like she gets hurt) and secondly as the title suggests i'm struggling to cope with the trust that goes along with her going away.
A good 80% of me thinks she will be good but I know whats its like when you go away, sun, sand, lots of alcohol and lots of people of the opposite side up for it...ive been greece 3 times so know it first hand.
I shouldnt have any reason to be ditrustful but theres a couple of things feeding my paranoia
1. when I first started seeing her she did stuff with a guy in a club and blamed it totally on being pi$$ed, she said she regretted it and it was the worst thing she ever done
2. In the past I have cheated on all my ex's and would find temptation on holiday just too great - basically I have no will power when drunk so i expect everyone else to be the same
How do I get thru this without tormenting myself, she has said that she will obviously not cheat on me and reckons they wont even get drunk. Do you think women have a higher will power not to cheat as I know all my male friends have none which makes me think no one including myself can be trusted.
(p.s i have not cheated on her and dont plan to - i love her too much and have turned a new leaf
)
Hi just reading some posts and thought I would add my 2 cents.
I'm a 24 year old guy and my GF is 21. We have been going out for 7 months now. She is going to turkey on Friday and I am worried sick. Firstly she is going with just one friend and if they get split up something could happen (like she gets hurt) and secondly as the title suggests i'm struggling to cope with the trust that goes along with her going away.
A good 80% of me thinks she will be good but I know whats its like when you go away, sun, sand, lots of alcohol and lots of people of the opposite side up for it...ive been greece 3 times so know it first hand.
I shouldnt have any reason to be ditrustful but theres a couple of things feeding my paranoia
1. when I first started seeing her she did stuff with a guy in a club and blamed it totally on being pi$$ed, she said she regretted it and it was the worst thing she ever done
2. In the past I have cheated on all my ex's and would find temptation on holiday just too great - basically I have no will power when drunk so i expect everyone else to be the same
How do I get thru this without tormenting myself, she has said that she will obviously not cheat on me and reckons they wont even get drunk. Do you think women have a higher will power not to cheat as I know all my male friends have none which makes me think no one including myself can be trusted.
(p.s i have not cheated on her and dont plan to - i love her too much and have turned a new leaf
) 0
Comments
It's a shitter! But what goes around comes around buddy
I find it hilarious a guy can chat about how worried he is, his girls gonna cop off with some other fella on holiday, when in the past he's done exactly that at will because of whatever excuse.
You cant avoid the feeling of distrust when you've made it blatantly obvious, trust means fook all to you in a relationship in the past :wave:
Just a matter of hoping really, if she wants your relationship to work and feels strongly about you then things should be OK although if she's cheated and feels guilty then you'll probably notice she's acting a bit funny when she comes back.
The worrying and nervousness you'll just have to cope with, maybe it's just a final kick in the balls from the karma police
Yeh I made it obvious that i've had a problem in the past, maybe the people i've hung around with were all like that or just plain immaturity
I was hoping that just because i was cheating scum that not everyone had the willpower of pete doherty in an opium factory
Also maybe I'm being niave but about 90% blokes i know seem to think nothing of cheating when away or lads night so whether this comes down to a human nature thing or maybe all the guys i've met are just ar$es, i was thinking that women wernt as susceptible (sp?) to tempation
hey thanks for givin me the benefit of the doubt, i was really tormenting myself last night but i feel better about it today. I realised if she really loves me then nothing will happen and i really love her so tempation means nothing to me anymore
I think you've just met arseholes. Almost every guy I know has not cheated on their respective partners and wouldn't dream of doing so.
My sister was in the same position as you. Her fella was going away on holiday and she was worried sick he was going to cheat. He didn't and wouldn't do that. She has cheated on every single man she has gone out with (Even this guy) so I think the cheaters are often the most paranoid of the lot. You'll just have to have faith in her and don't think about it. If it happens it does, but if it doesn't and you make a big thing about it, it might mess things up. Just tough it out I'm afraid
I wouldn't expect everyone to be the same as you when it comes to temptation... I think there are many factors in why people cheat (insecurity, unhappiness etc etc)... which is why there are also many reasons for people not to cheat.
Trust your girlfriend. You've turned over a new leaf, so you know it's possible to stay faithful... so there's no reason why she shouldn't too. If she really cares about you, she'll make sure she won't get too pissed to ward off any temptation.