Never been kissed.

Former Member

So, life story in a short bit right. Well I'm a 25 year old guy who's never been a relationship of any sort, never been out on a real date, or even been kissed. Obviously I'm a virgin, but that doesn't even bug me right now. I figure I'll find someone eventually. But the whole never had a girlfriend or been kissed has really been eating at me for the last few years. It's actually quite embarrassing for me when all my friends are getting married and I'm flying solo at the wedding, or when someone I meet asks me about the girls I've dated and I tell them. I've never met anyone male or female who's been through it so I've got nothing to go on. It's always been a constant source of harassment for me from people who I thought were my friends, and my siblings. Even in high school people teased me about it all the time, although it never really bothered me then too much.

So I'm not totally inept socially, although I am quite shy when I first meet people, and I've pursued women(and girls when I was younger), but I always manage to either misinterpret a girl who only wants a friendship, or somehow I screw it up. It's not like I haven't made the traditional awkward would you like to go for dinner sometime, type of move either. I'm just curious from the women out there what am I missing in their signals. Is there anyone who can point me in the direction of a good guide?

I've always been a little overweight, it's gotten worse in recent years and I'm really trying to deal with it. Actually lost 10 of the 100 pounds I want to loose already. No offense to the big women out there, but even they haven't wanted anything to do with me. I'm an educated guy. Pretty well versed in most topics so I'm not a bumbling buffoon.

As odd as it sounds I feel more comfortable asking for help and talking about myself on here from you strangers than my best friends. The really weird thing about this for me is that all of my friends have always said I'm a great guy and that I'd do anything for my friends, I'm such a nice guy, very genuine etc etc. In short one even called me chivalrous when describing me(he accidentally CC'd me on an email), even the girls I'm friends with say the same. So I don't know what else a girl would want especially when I try to always be myself which seems pretty good from overhearing my friends. I've asked my friends about setting me up on a blind date but none of them seem to know anyone. It is really starting to bug me. It always seems to me that the nice girls and women I've known have gone after the total asses, so I'm starting to think maybe I'm too nice. I'm not a pushover, but I'll do anything for a friend in need. And most of the guys I see my girl friends dating wouldn't stop to help a baby from getting hit on the highway. Sorry, as you can see I am a little bitter about it. I don't let it show to anyone actually, I usually just laugh along. So yeah, any help from you women out there would be appreciated, and the guys too for that matter. I hope you won't hold that I'm an American against me . Thanks.

Former Member

Hey dude,

I can totally sympathise with what you're going through. I'm 23 and haven't had a real relationship (maybe entering one now though) but I've definitely had intimacy a few times.

What I have noticed, as someone who is called a 'nice guy' all the time is that women will say they want a nice guy while in reality, those kinds of guys are not the ones they're attracted to. Read a book called 'No more mr nice guy' (Author: Glover) and you'll understand what I mean. I can also strongly recommend an e-book called 'Double Your Dating' by a guy called David DeAngelo......its not as cheesy as its sounds. This guy makes so much sense and its helped me to find the confidence and right attitudes with women immensely. Got alot to say on this topic, but the writings I just mentioned will much better illustrate my point. Btw I can e-mail you a copy of DYD if you're interested.

Former Member

Ever considered paying for sex? Not street prostitutes but those call agencies? It might help you get some confidence.

Former Member

mrcrea wrote: »

I've always been a little overweight, it's gotten worse in recent years and I'm really trying to deal with it. Actually lost 10 of the 100 pounds I want to loose already.

I think you should concentrate on losing weight and getting fit because if you're 100lbs overweight it probably does put alot of women off. How about you join a gym and have a training session -they can talk you through nutrition and exercise plans. Exercise releases endorphins, which make you feel good and losing weight will increase your confidence.

Also, have you tried dating sites or social websites?

Former Member

This is the best advice I can give you... go and read some of the material over at Charisma Arts.

http://charismaarts.com/ and http://www.charismatips.com/

Former Member

Yerascrote wrote: »

Ever considered paying for sex? Not street prostitutes but those call agencies? It might help you get some confidence.

Yeah, ummm...no. :no: :no: I'm not going to use some random hooker to gain confidence. Thanks for the suggestion though...

As far as dating sites I've been using one for a little while, with no success. I'm not going to quit that though. I asked my friends to take a peak at one of the conversations I was having which the woman stopped talking to me after and none of them could figure out why. So it's been a little disheartening. I've actually bought a couple of pieces of exercise equipment and my cousin's a nutritionist and gave me a plan that I'm sticking to. As far as being 100 pound over weight that's not what I mean. I started at 280 and want to get down to 180. I'm probably about 50 pounds right now over what I played linebacker at, so while it's a lot of fat, there's still quite a bit of muscle under there. Sorry I'm getting defensive. I really do appreciate the suggestions. Thanks.

Former Member

Hey dude... You say 'pounds', are you in the States?

Former Member

Yup. A couple of keys for you I did say don't hold that I'm an American against me in the original post, the linebacker was a giveaway I thought... That and the fact that it says Minneapolis, USA on my location:wave: . My sister studied abroad in London for a semester and told me about this site. It's pretty neat. I haven't seen anything like this in America.

Former Member

mrcrea wrote: »

Yup. A couple of keys for you I did say don't hold that I'm an American against me in the original post, the linebacker was a giveaway I thought... That and the fact that it says Minneapolis, USA on my location:wave: . My sister studied abroad in London for a semester and told me about this site. It's pretty neat. I haven't seen anything like this in America.

There are plenty of sites like this around the world, you just have to find them.

Former Member

I agree with Lipsy. If your weight bothers you, then that's something obvious you can do. Anything that improves your confidence will be a good thing. And the second thing (the hard bit) is to change the way that members of the opposite sex see you, which I think is what most of those "dating" advice things are based around. It basically means that when you first meet, and then hang around with girls, they actually consider you as a potential boyfriend (you quite often see a girl with a male friend who's better looking and more interesting than the people they actually go out with, but they've never even thought about him in that way, for whatever reason, and now they're friends instead). I'm think it's more about body language, and how you interact, than what you wear, or what you talk about. You might find it easy to talk to and socialise with girls, but how comfortable are you flirting with girls when you're having a conversation? Do you find yourself censoring yourself in case you put her off? Do you even subconsciously attempt to hide your feelings from her? I think a lot of people do this.

Former Member

I would personally concentrate on losing the weight then think about girlfriends instead of trying to sort out both things at the same time.

Former Member

Sofie wrote: »

I would personally concentrate on losing the weight then think about girlfriends instead of trying to sort out both things at the same time.

Concrate on losing the weight which will help boost your confidence, and then try to sort things out relationship wise, keep and dating and using any websites you currently do in the meantime.