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Boyfriend being unreasonable
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My boyfriend and I have a fiery relationship at the best of times, but we genuinely love each other and have a great time together.
When we met we both happened to post on the same messageboard. He no longer does, but has a serious problem with me doing so.
It never interferes with our time together, in fact it's usually only at work I would post on it, and I've done nothing wrong - in fact, in a year and a half I've NEVER given my boyfriend reason not to trust me. But he's seriously fixated on this issue and is causing arguements about it to the extent that he's wondering if he should be with me.
I refuse to have a man control me - I've made many compromises with him before but I can't let him tell me what I can and can't do.
How can I deal with this?
When we met we both happened to post on the same messageboard. He no longer does, but has a serious problem with me doing so.
It never interferes with our time together, in fact it's usually only at work I would post on it, and I've done nothing wrong - in fact, in a year and a half I've NEVER given my boyfriend reason not to trust me. But he's seriously fixated on this issue and is causing arguements about it to the extent that he's wondering if he should be with me.
I refuse to have a man control me - I've made many compromises with him before but I can't let him tell me what I can and can't do.
How can I deal with this?
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Comments
There is no way we can answer this problem for you only guess at what it could be so like Dobbin said, sit down with him and have a talk, most importantly reassure him, let him know it's something you do to pass time at work and that he's the only man you want. Make it clear that something as petty and innocent as going on a message board is not something you are willing to argue over or let it affect your relationship in any way.
We've chatted about it many times - he says he doesn't trust me when it comes to it.
Trust is the most important thing in a relationship and you need it. I can't understand why he doesn't trust you on a message board. Maybe you need to re evaluate your relationship because without the trust it may be a rocky ride ahead and will it be worth it?
Good point. I doubt this is just because you post on an online forum. The fact you indicate that your realtionship is stormy also suggests that there's something else not right.
:yes: I think you need to sit down explain to him that even though you two met on this mesage board, you have no desire to meet anyone else on it.
Thinking about it there has to be. This must be an excuse for something else that's affecting him because he can easily access the website you post on, he probably knows your name on there and so can easily keep tabs on what you are saying and who to if he's really that way inclined. It doesn't add up imo.
You're right actually. He knows my username and he could very easily have a look.
I'm glad no-one's suggesting that I'm in the wrong here - he seems to think that because he's unhappy with it, that I should just do as he suggests and stop using the forum.
:yes:
Indeed