Shyness

Former Member

Hello everyone, :wave: Newbie here
I know this thread is quite old. I came across this site via a google search. I was searching for information in regards to shy, and or quiet people.
I am a very quiet-shy person.
I was looking for a forum that is geared exclusively for the shy person.
I was so overwhelmed and yet excited to read some of the responses in this thread, as I'm not the only one out there with these very similar issues.
I'm so frustrated at this point with being shy and quiet.
I totally shut down in social situations fearing that I'll sound stupid. Then I stumble on words sometimes. I feel others think I'm mentally challenged, slow or whatever it's being called these days.
It's effecting me with my family. I have no friends.
I'm currently out of work.
I've been on interviews can't seem to get pass those behavior interviews.
Where one has to give examples of what one would do if were to ever face a particular problem etc.
I have a 6-year-old son it is pretty hard on him.
I don't like going to his school functions.
I don't like taking him to birthday parties.
I just feel very uncomfortable and incompetent in
intimate social interactions.
I try to avoid them all if I can help it.
I am usually the quiet one sitting alone, or sitting quietly while everyone else speaks.
Until someone addresses me that is.
It is getting where I have to be directed or guided in order to feel I'm on the right track.
My significant other has been saying. "You don't know how to communicate with people and you have a bad attitude."
He also says, I'll never be successful because of it.
On the other hand, everyone else is saying I'm too nice and I speak to softly.
If I don't speak to someone it's not because I'm being rude.
I fear that they won’t speak to me.
My grandmother reared me. She died when I was 14.
I'm not at all close to my parents and other family members.
I'm very alone and withdrawn. I generally have no one to talk to. I keep all my problems balled up inside. I'm sorry this is sooooo long.
I just want to get some feedback.
What is a girl to do?

**helen**

Hi there, I've split your post from the old thread so that people can get to it more quickly and not have to read through all the old posts.

The first thing that really stands out about what you've said here is what your significant other has said to you:

My significant other has been saying. "You don't know how to communicate with people and you have a bad attitude."
He also says, I'll never be successful because of it.

That can't be good for your self-esteem. Perhaps that's his way of wanting to help you, but I'm not sure such negative feedback can really do any good. It can be a crippling experience when you feel too shy to speak to people, but at the same time I'm sure you have lots of great qualities that mean you will be successful. From what you've said here it doesn't sound like you have a bad attitude at all - rather that you lack confidence and aren't really sure how to go about improving things. Bearing that in mind, don't be afraid to confront this negative feedback - remember you might be shy, but you're not a doormat - people often seem to think that the two automatically go hand in hand, but they really don't

TheSite.org has lots of useful info and tips that you might find useful. But also, this is a great place to talk to people and maybe even develop confidence talking about particular topics.

Take care and I hope you like it here