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So, single people...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
... do you ever get scared you are never going to meet the right person? Or anyone else at all for that matter? I know I'm only 22, and have years ahead of me bla bla bla, but as the years have gone by, things have only got drier, my mind has become filled with more and more over-analytical bullshit about why I might be single, what's wrong with me and what might have gone wrong in the past, why I am not interested in any of the girls who are interested in me these days, why I can't sustain a relationship with these girls and I've become more and more doubtful and more and more pessimistic. It's almost like I knew more when I was 16 than I do now. Everything is gray now. Back then everything was black and white. My mind's always filled with questions I don't know the answers to anymore. It's like every month that goes by, my self-belief and confidence is chipped away a bit more. People keep telling me I just need to chill out and let things happen. While that may be good advice, it's very hard to take on board when the whole world just seems to be passing you by and you can't see anything on the horizon. In conclusion, I guess I'm just scared. I keep seeing an image of myself at 30, single, whining to all my married friends about some 2 month fling I had when I was 17. I know relationship's aren't everything, I'm happy with my life in other departments, but the longer this goes on, the more I am bothered by it and the more paranoid I become about myself - it's impossible not to be. I don't know what I'm trying to achieve with this post, just getting it off my chest I guess and wondering if there's anyone else that feels the same. I'm not some manic-depressive who is constantly whining about being single, and thus making myself really unattractive- I'm mainly a happy, confident, giving and smart guy - that's what makes it all the more frustrating...
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Thanks. I go out a lot and have a lot of interests/hobbies etc. I think maybe I don't put myself about enough or sieze the day enough though...
I know, I know! Like I say, I know the deal, I know this, it's just convincing myself of it and not letting all my hang ups and baggage get in the way. Thanks...
Just keep doing what your doing and chill and you should be fine.
Right Im seventeen and single so I know I've got ages to go until I have to even think about marriage but i feel pressure already like my younger sister has this serious relationship and everyone is coupled up at family things and i end up the odd one out because im not exactly gonna bring a link to a family thing with me .
I dont want to end up lonely either and im really scared at times that i will.
:yes: I've been single for a long enough to reliase I dont need a bloke to make my happy. Yes a relationship would be nice and I do go through pharses of wanting one but its not the be all and end of all my life. The plans I have for the next year or so mean I might be out of the country a fair bit travelling and a relationship might ot mix very well.
Yes, I feel like that all the time these days.
I'm 23 in October and all my friends are shacked up and pretty settled apart from one who's done the whole marriage & kids thing but fucked it all up royally.
It does get annoying seeing everyone else having what you want but seemingly can't get but surely it can't last forever?
Yeah, your not the only one whos been there. Have to say I have chilled out 1000% since the turn of the year, regards this one. Its all in the mind.
The more you plan, the more that can go wrong. Stop planning things and just relax, let things happen. Stop worrying about the 'whens' and 'if's' in life and worry about enjoying the moment. Its often only when we stop worrying and questioning ourselves that things change.
:thumb:
Dry spell, man. But it happens to the best of us. I think I'm noticing it more with me at the moment as I think I am sinking into that lonely 'I-really-want-a-boyfriend' kinda feeling so as sod's law happens it won't happen for me. Still hard to shake off but what can you do.
I think I'm going for the wrong kinda guy as well. My Mam's pointed out I go for gawky, weird looking guys. They are kinda odd looking and I do have a weird taste sort of and I think their weird attitude/mannerism follows suit hence the breakdown of anything being consistant. Bit annoying, but hey ho!
Especially when I hear all the tragic tales of how crap all my other mates' relationships are - it's like I wouldn't pull strops like their girlfs and they're all lovely lads and they put up with it yet come whinging to me.
It's a weird thing that's not really something you can dissect too much, as there are too many pieces to dissect and it's just neverending.
Er, that was a really unorganised tangent. Moral of the story - just keep your head up. You're not alone.
Urahgh .. after reading that i feel even more depressed. i always go for the same type too without even realising it. im drawn to these scummy drug dealing dumb asses who are funny but wankers.
Same here
i am starting 2 sink into that (well "want a girlfriend") and its rubish. its very diffacult to stop yourself thinking like that to:banghead: , kinda gets in the way of acctually getting a girlfriend:( . lol
but single life is good,
my faveorite saying right now
"this Too Shall pass"
As for settling down and stuff, I don't have any ideas about "knowing" as many people as possible. If the first woman I get with turns out to be "the one", I'd have no problem settling down no matter how old or young I was.
I will remeber that one
I'm a geek and into weird stuff, so that puts certain girls off. I'm a smartarse who says weird, surreal things so that puts girls off. I'm fat, so that outs girls off.
I kinda accept that I'm always going to be more Kevin Smith than Brad Pitt. I always thought that being clever and funny was attractive. I guess not.
also - does any one else find this, like when your single and bored you find yourself forcing yourself to like people ? cos im kind of doing that at the moment because I AM SO BORED i just want to meet someone interesting
I don't think that's particulary lucky.. well they would think so. But the thought of that just sounds so boring! You get stuck in your ways at such a young age.
I don't think I believe in "the one" anyway.
there probably isnt anything wrong with you but that depends on how weird the stuff is that your into
im glad someone agrees with me on that .. at work theres quite a few women who met their husbands at 15 and another at 17 and drone on about it all the time and my dads new girlfriend met her previous husband at FOURTEEN for crying out loud (then left him later for my dad ... anyway) i was feeling like i was one of the only people who thought it might not be a bad thing to shop around for a bit first
i mean its a bit like if i go shopping for a new top im not gonna buy the first one i see just because its alright even if it suits me im normally look around first then come back if its that great
Well .. Duh !
It was just a compairson (sp)
Nope.
Prior to meeting my ex, I never gave the matter much thought - I was 19 and I don't really know many 19 year olds who are concerned with such things. I was convinced that I had met the girl for me until, 3 years down the line, she basically throws all the things we had founded our relationship on back in my face, tells me she doesn't want all the things we'd planned such as marriage, kids, house in the country etc. which was strange. Then to cap it all, she runs off with a good friend.
Now for a while I thought, shit, what if I never meet another girl like her again and perhaps there is still some doubt in my mind regarding that issue today and I'm nearly 23. However, I still know more single people than people in relationships which is comforting on the one hand out of a sentiment I guess of bloody-mindedness. Another feeling is that being in the majority means I have time on my side. Now in my more Stoic/Zen retrospective clarity, I can see that perhaps my ex wasn't the perfect girl for me. Granted, I loved her with all my heart and soul and what she did hurt a lot but at the same time, I feel a lot wiser, a lot more level headed, and dare I say it, a lot more discerning a gentleman now that I have had my heart broken. This means that, whilst having pulled God knows how many lovely ladies since our breakup in November it's going to take one very special lady to make me commit again as fully as I did last time. Or failing that, several average ladies
But seriously, I don't know how many others in my age bracket I can speak for but for a while I did worry a lot about what might happen if I never meet that someone again, now I'm a lot more Stoic and Zen about the whole thing. I have time on my side.