Meeting New People

BillieTheBot

Forgive me if I've missed something in my search, but almost all threads I found were about meeting new people romantically, and that isn't really what I'm looking for, although if I stumbled across it I wouldn't be whinging.

I currently feel like I haven't got many friends with much in common with me. I've made a lot of friends at uni, but now its over a lot of them have moved home which is frequently abroad (and I'm talking Japan/America type abroad, not France or whatever) or are moving away soon for work or to travel. I plan on keeping in touch, but I also need to have people close by that I can call friends, not just those spread out across the globe. I'm feeling a lot like I need to meet new people, especially those who I can chill out with generally, not just "do" something with if you know what I mean. I just have no idea how to do it.

Current life situation: I'm starting my MA (probably) in September/October time but I doubt I'll meet many new people as most of the intake apparently comes from people on the undergrad course who I'll already know. Work is a bit weird-I'm only on contract until September working full time at what used to be my part time job at uni, but I don't know if I'll get a job permanently there or not (I'm applying for it if they advertise but it currently looks like someone is going to get it through redeployment) so I already know everyone there. Other than that, I'm a bit stuck.

I don't want a new BEST FRIEND or anything, but people who I can just chill out with of an evening watching films, or go to random gigs with. Especially music stuff-I haven't had people who I share music taste with since school, and there are so many things I'd love to go to, but just won't go alone (I will for a couple of things, just not everything!). Guy mates I especially miss-I can't be done with girly bitching all the time and need more masculine company but people tend to get the wrong impression from me as I'm friendly which makes things a bit tense after the wrong impression is made. I just have no idea how to meet people in such a way as I've always had a springboard for it-school, part-time job, uni, volunteering job.

That turned into a bit of a waffle really :chin: Any thoughts?

Former Member

hmm....friends of friends? go out with your girly mates a bit and possibly get introduced to their wider circles of friends?

Former Member

im in a very similar situation and havnt had much luck yet. i find the thing that makes it difficult to make new friends is even if u meet some one who you share similar interests to and you get on. they tend to have a "circle" of friends witch and be very difficult to get involved in. unless the person in out-going and easy to talk to they arnt likely to introduce you to they friends.

you say u have done volunteering. i have been looking into this as a way to meet new friends. what sort of volunteer work did you do?

Former Member

If you like going to random gigs or nights in the pub, the best thing to do would be to get a couple of your existing mates who like gigs or pub nights, they'll bring a couple of their mates and you can expand your social circle that way.

Once you get into the habit of stuff like that, it becomes almost second nature. You'll end up seeing them again and again and before you know it you'll be good pals.

I sometimes think I've not got much in common with my blokey mates, but I'm a lot less shy than I used to be and I'm a lot happier at starting random conversations than I was a couple of years ago, so I'm really relaxed in new company nowadays. Whereas before I was really shy and really didn't think I'd much to offer anybody in the way of friendship cause I'd not much to say for myself.

Just give yourself that extra wee push.

Former Member

Bri-namite wrote: »

If you like going to random gigs or nights in the pub, the best thing to do would be to get a couple of your existing mates who like gigs or pub nights, they'll bring a couple of their mates and you can expand your social circle that way.

I did this last year and it did work.

Former Member

I volunteer for my Student Union during term time on our safety bus scheme, to whoever wanted to know about that.

The only thing is with existing mates is that most have them have gone home now, and those that are left either aren't into the same kind of music as me, or are too tight to pay for tickets to get into gigs (but think nothing of spending a wadge on getting in to clubs or buying drinks).

Former Member

Hi there!

There are many different ways to make friends and meet new people. For that to happen though, it is important to be willing, positive and make an extra effort to socialise. Here is an article about making new friends, and one about how to boost your social life if needed.

Hope this helps!