When you get completely wasted and make a fool of yourself how do you get over it?

Former Member

On Friday I went to my friends' house for dinner, drank way too much and it was really bad. For one thing I vomited loads, on their clean laundry, sofa, carpet, bedding, the white cushions, all over myself and well it was just everywhere. Also, I told them about a dream I'd had the night before in which they'd sexually abused me (I have weird dreams a lot but I would never tell the people in them usually) and told them a few scary things about my past which I'm really ashamed of and never tell anyone, basically involving some extreme sexual violence I experienced when I was younger. I'm so gutted it came out when I was drunk. I've been keeping it secret for years. When I woke up (at theirs) I was still wasted, their house was locked (as it was night time) but I thought they had "locked me in" and were keeping me there against my will and I was trying to get out of their first floor windows to "escape" although luckily I failed. I was hungover until Sunday but even now I just can't cope with this, I don't know what to say to them or how to be around them. They phoned me to check I got home okay and am okay on Saturday but I was still too hungover to talk properly. They didn't mind about all the vomit, they just seemed concerned about me. I feel so ashamed, it's having a really negative effect on my mental health (I'd gone about ten days with only very mild suicidal ideation, now it's starting to dominate my thoughts again).

Former Member

First of all, don't go all suicidal. People do stupid things when they're drunk, everyone knows this. And people say things when they're drunk that they normally wouldn't say when they're sober. People know this too. About the dream you told them, make sure they know that you don't think that they're weird or something and that you trust them. Unless you don't trust them. But maybe this is your chance to have someone to talk to about your past and get your feelings out there. Maybe they can help you cope with it and help you through it. As for getting drunk, maybe you should tone it down a little and figure out your limits so you don't puke all over their house again. :-P Hope this helps. :-)

Former Member

Randomgirl wrote: »

They phoned me to check I got home okay and am okay on Saturday but I was still too hungover to talk properly. They didn't mind about all the vomit, they just seemed concerned about me.

I don't know about everyone else, but that sounds to me like friends who care about you. You made a bit of a tit of yourself i.e. the vomitting and you revealed some nastiness about your past, which may take them some time to digest, but they obviously care enough about you to make sure you're ok.

Yeah you're gonna feel a bit crap about it for a while, i would, but it'll pass. I've done stupid things in the past and felt mortified for days, but you'll get over it. You're obviously still speaking so why not call 'em up now you've sobbered up and apologise for what happened.

They do a lot more occassion cards now but i doubt there's a 'sorry for vomitting on your laundry' card

ETA PLUS you now have a 'funny story' to tell ya grandkids

Former Member

I usually get over it by doing something worse the next week

**helen**

Randomgirl wrote: »

I feel so ashamed, it's having a really negative effect on my mental health

Hey Randomgirl, it sounds like you had a pretty full-on night and it's natural to feel embarrassed about it, but hey it really does happen to the best of us!

It's definitely not something to feel ashamed about (although I realise that's hard to come to terms with.) The main thing to remember is that you didn't do any harm to anyone, you just made a bit of a mess. How about inviting those same friends out for a low-key night out - maybe a quiet meal or something? It will probably be good to see them sooner rather than later so you can feel comfortable with them again. They sound like lovely people.

Let us know how you get on

Former Member

Not quite as serious as your story since I obviously don't have the difficult history that you had, and I didn't blurt out any personal stuff, but it's just proof we've all had some seriously embarrasing episodes with the drink. Years ago now, I went out with this girl from college on a few dates. On our 3rd or 4th date, we went to the pub for a few 'quite' drinks. However, as is often the case when I get within a hundred yards of a pub, I proceeded in getting absolutely plastered. At the end of the night, she was daft enough to invite me back to hers for a bit! The house was empty, she said her mum and dad were out as it was friday night and wouldn't be back for a while yet, and so we kiss and stuff on her sofa for a bit. Being just a lad however, and not so hardened as I am these days to the effects of 5 gallons of lager, I started to feel a bit ill. I managed to ask if I could use her bathroom in a casual manner, not making it to obvious that I was about to go upstairs and puke my guts up. She said go ahead. Halfway up the stairs however I couldn't hold it and made a trail all the way to her bathroom, until I eventually got to kneeling over the toilet, by which time I had already emptied my tank! As I was getting up, I was so out of it I knocked some glass vase flying which promptly smashed and then I turned round to see her parents standing there! Her Dad said "I think it's home time matey" led me down the stairs, gently led me through the front door and closed it behind me. When I saw her again on Monday, she said her parents went mad and made her clean the lot, but as the weekend went on they saw the seriously funny side of it. My girl was laughing about it telling me aswell. I was mortified though. For the 3 months we went out, I never went back round there, I was terrified of her parents! I look back on it now though and it makes me laugh. Seriously one of the funniest moments of my life! Never again though..!

Don't be so hard on yourself - your friends sound like good people. Just see them again soon and you'll be fine. And like someone else said, now they know something, they might even be good people to talk to about your past. Worst thing you can do is get all scared and avoid them. Just try to let it go, we all make mistakes...

Former Member

When you make a tit of yourself you tend to have all sorts of irrational thoughts. Your friends obviously care about you and understand that you were just, er, well wasted. Next time you see them just say "sorry bout that other night" and laugh it off with them.

Former Member

They sound like good friends, far more concerned about you than the mess which is always good.

I like Helens suggestion, quiet meal, and may be a box of chocolates to apologise for the mess.

It's one of the things about good friends, you can do things like that and it really doens't matter.

Former Member

As others have said, dont worry about it. Your friends sound really good and we've all done silly things when drunk.
Probably one of the most embarrassing things ive done was to sit in a pub all day from around 1pm solidly drinking until about 3am at which time i decided it would be a good idea to get a taxi to my (recently broke up with at the time) ex gf's house.
I've probably done worse things that my brain has blocked out though. Dont worry about it x

Skive

Yerascrote wrote: »

When you make a tit of yourself you tend to have all sorts of irrational thoughts. Your friends obviously care about you and understand that you were just, er, well wasted. Next time you see them just say "sorry bout that other night" and laugh it off with them.

:yes:

Since I've stopped doing so many drugs I've been drinkign every weekend instead, and I can't handle my drink. I can drink lots of it, but I behave like an absolute twat.
I wake up in the morning and as things slowly come back to me I feel worse and worse.

Take the piss out of yourself with you mates and laugh it off as Scotey says.

Former Member

Thanks for your replies.

I'm going away with them at the weekend (which was already booked), it was meant to be for a bit of a piss up but I think that won't happen now for obvious reasons. I think we'll stick to Earl Grey.

One of them wrote on my facebook wall about my new photos being nice which was nice of her as I didn't think she'd want anything to do with me now.

I'll take (the girl one) some flowers when I go there next (which will be this week sometime).

Former Member

if you told them some things that you'd rather them not tell anyone else (like about sexual violence you've experienced in your past etc.) then i'd just mention something like 'i know i made a fool of myself the other night, i'd appreciated if it wasn't mentioned again' when you go to see her. its a good idea to take some flowers, and also offer to pay any dry cleaning bills for any soft funishings or whatever? just a thought

Former Member

RubberSkin wrote: »

I don't know about everyone else, but that sounds to me like friends who care about you. You made a bit of a tit of yourself i.e. the vomitting and you revealed some nastiness about your past, which may take them some time to digest, but they obviously care enough about you to make sure you're ok.

This is the impression I get as well. And they didn't seem to bothered - I think they were more concerned about how you were than you vomiting everywhere.

ETA PLUS you now have a 'funny story' to tell ya grandkids

Former Member

H-face wrote: »

if you told them some things that you'd rather them not tell anyone else (like about sexual violence you've experienced in your past etc.) then i'd just mention something like 'i know i made a fool of myself the other night, i'd appreciated if it wasn't mentioned again' when you go to see her. its a good idea to take some flowers, and also offer to pay any dry cleaning bills for any soft funishings or whatever? just a thought

They are really good friends and wouldn't ever tell anyone else, they aren't like that. It was mostly one of the guys I was talking to more than the girl but he's like really safe. I know it won't go any further than him (unless the other two heard but as far as I know it was him I was talking to until late, the other two had gone to bed but then he went to wake them when I was being sick as he wanted their help so hopefully they didn't hear it but I can't remember any of that).

I will offer to pay for the cleaning stuff but I doubt they'll accept my money.

Maybe this is making me realise how good my friends are.

Former Member

RubberSkin wrote: »

They do a lot more occassion cards now but i doubt there's a 'sorry for vomitting on your laundry' card

That made me smile :yeees: :chin:

Former Member

Randomgirl wrote: »

On Friday I went to my friends' house for dinner, drank way too much and it was really bad. For one thing I vomited loads, on their clean laundry, sofa, carpet, bedding, the white cushions, all over myself and well it was just everywhere. Also, I told them about a dream I'd had the night before in which they'd sexually abused me (I have weird dreams a lot but I would never tell the people in them usually) and told them a few scary things about my past which I'm really ashamed of and never tell anyone, basically involving some extreme sexual violence I experienced when I was younger. I'm so gutted it came out when I was drunk. I've been keeping it secret for years. When I woke up (at theirs) I was still wasted, their house was locked (as it was night time) but I thought they had "locked me in" and were keeping me there against my will and I was trying to get out of their first floor windows to "escape" although luckily I failed. I was hungover until Sunday but even now I just can't cope with this, I don't know what to say to them or how to be around them. They phoned me to check I got home okay and am okay on Saturday but I was still too hungover to talk properly. They didn't mind about all the vomit, they just seemed concerned about me. I feel so ashamed, it's having a really negative effect on my mental health (I'd gone about ten days with only very mild suicidal ideation, now it's starting to dominate my thoughts again).

Been their an done it mate. Everyone who drinks has, I'm sure. It takes a few weeks, months to get over, and it may pop into your head from time to time, but you'll get over it. Alcohol does that to you. Learn from it! I did. :thumb:

Former Member

Box wrote: »

Been their an done it mate. Everyone who drinks has, I'm sure. It takes a few weeks, months to get over, and it may pop into your head from time to time, but you'll get over it. Alcohol does that to you. Learn from it! I did. :thumb:

I've been sick a couple of times due to alcohol before, once when I was fifteen and once when I was eighteen but nothing like this. It's less the vomit and more what I told them that bothers me. I might stop drinking again.

Former Member

Randomgirl wrote: »

I've been sick a couple of times due to alcohol before, once when I was fifteen and once when I was eighteen but nothing like this. It's less the vomit and more what I told them that bothers me. I might stop drinking again.

But if you hadn't drunk in the first place you wouldn't have said what you said. Being drunk at the time has everything to do with it, anything else is just part of it, like the vomit is. Thats how other people see it, trust. People will know you were drunk, not that you were bringing up funny stuff about your past. You were pissed! Next week/month you'll be on the piss again, then perhaps you'll have better conciseness about how to deal with it. Its a learning process, one that never stops, I've found.

I''m pretty drunk myself atm. I talk alot of crap when I'm drunk an all look

Former Member

Beleive me, when I got totally twat faced drinking straight bottles of vodka, I did some very very stupid things. I actually got slapped in the face by my GF at the time, more than once infront of a room full of people.

I felt like shit the next day, and for the next few weeks, out of total shame, embarassment. I couldnt remember any of it, but I got told alot of what happened. Lets just say. I've stayed away from vodka and sprits from then, an that was 2-3 years ago now. Not touched a drop!

Former Member

lol aye ive had a few scundering ones from drinking raw vodka, nasty business!

all you can do is laugh it off, you're still gonna cringe every time you think about it for the next while probably, but it happens to everyone!

Former Member

VinylVicky wrote: »

I usually get over it by doing something worse the next week

Me too

Former Member

z- wrote: »

all you can do is laugh it off, you're still gonna cringe every time you think about it for the next while probably, but it happens to everyone!

Indeed

Former Member

z- wrote: »

lol aye ive had a few scundering ones from drinking raw vodka, nasty business!

all you can do is laugh it off, you're still gonna cringe every time you think about it for the next while probably, but it happens to everyone!

Cringe! Thats the word!

I've just thought about that night again. Cringe!!! :shocking:

Former Member

Another thing is, alcohol can have really bad/weird interactions with anti-depressants. Are you on any anti-ds at the moment? I've been wasted on a combo alc/anti-d and it was so intense, the situation just 'snapped' in my mind to an intensly scarey situation based on but distinct to the reality, a bit like how you describe the being locked in thing... maybe...

Former Member

Sounds like there good mates if they've made sure that your okay. Just apologise for the vomiting, and explain if you want to discuss/just forget about what you told them, they might be shocked at first.

We all do silly things when we're drunk. You might be mortified for a few days but most people can move on quite quickly.

Former Member

I went away with him this weekend (with a group of friends), also I bought her flowers whch she really liked and saw them tonight for dinner too. Only one person who I've not seen since who was there that night (who is more their flatmate than my friend but he was "helping" when I was being sick apparently). Things are seeming okay with respect to the vomit and general drunkeness, the other stuff wasn't spoken about directly this weekend (which was probably for the best as we were away with a larger group of friends who weren't there that night so didn't need to know) although they did make sure I got my own room in the cottage which was nice as I would struggle to share a room at the moment. Hopefully will get a chance soon to talk properly to the friend who I spoke to the most when I was drunk about the nasty stuff as it feels a bit weird not saying something at least.