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Strange situation - Would love some advice.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi, I got a bit of a problem I need to share and get some advice on.
I found out last year that a girl at my new job (who I really like), fancied me. Around Christmas time I asked her out and she told me that she'd just started seeing someone.
Since then everything has been quite tense and awkward between us. Neither of us really knew how to talk to each other.
Last month, this girls mood suddenly changed around me. She was talking to me a lot, huge smiles on her face every time she saw me, asking me to sit with her in the staff room, arranging her break so it would coincide with mine, kind of taking care of me(making sure I had my lunch etc), and a lot of staring.
I had no clue what was going on and then I found out that she'd split from her boyfriend.
So I assumed she was interested me and I was waiting to see what would would develop. Then, suddenly, a few days ago she goes really cold on me. Basically ignoring me and talking to me in short, curt one word answers.
Today, I decided I'd had enough and was going to ask her out. I was about to do it in the staff room when someone came in and so I didn't. But this girl KNEW I was about to ask her because of the way I called her over.
She avoided me for the rest of the day. It was soooo obvious. I'd walk near her and she'd head in the opposite direction. As we were leaving she couldn't wait to get out of the door and her and her friend were walking in front of me and she seemed desperate to get away.
Her friend looked back a few times and was smiling in a girly, giggly kind of way.
What the hell is going on? I'm a little bit older than her. I'm 26 and she's 21but I thought her reaction was completely juvenile.
I thought for weeks that she was going to ask me out or wanted me to ask her and when I go to do it she runs away.
I found out last year that a girl at my new job (who I really like), fancied me. Around Christmas time I asked her out and she told me that she'd just started seeing someone.
Since then everything has been quite tense and awkward between us. Neither of us really knew how to talk to each other.
Last month, this girls mood suddenly changed around me. She was talking to me a lot, huge smiles on her face every time she saw me, asking me to sit with her in the staff room, arranging her break so it would coincide with mine, kind of taking care of me(making sure I had my lunch etc), and a lot of staring.
I had no clue what was going on and then I found out that she'd split from her boyfriend.
So I assumed she was interested me and I was waiting to see what would would develop. Then, suddenly, a few days ago she goes really cold on me. Basically ignoring me and talking to me in short, curt one word answers.
Today, I decided I'd had enough and was going to ask her out. I was about to do it in the staff room when someone came in and so I didn't. But this girl KNEW I was about to ask her because of the way I called her over.
She avoided me for the rest of the day. It was soooo obvious. I'd walk near her and she'd head in the opposite direction. As we were leaving she couldn't wait to get out of the door and her and her friend were walking in front of me and she seemed desperate to get away.
Her friend looked back a few times and was smiling in a girly, giggly kind of way.
What the hell is going on? I'm a little bit older than her. I'm 26 and she's 21but I thought her reaction was completely juvenile.
I thought for weeks that she was going to ask me out or wanted me to ask her and when I go to do it she runs away.
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Comments
I would love to think the same but the more I think about it the more it annoys me. Fact is, she knew I was going to ask her out and she ran away from me.
Anyway, I think she fancies you. Be good if she grew up a bit though, eh?
I am not trying to dampen your spirits, and I am sorry if I have, but I wouldnt want you to go ahead and say something and have the idea she will positively respond.
As Bri-namite said, she may have been hurt in the past and be putting up her defences.
My advice would be to approach her casually and just talk to her in a general manner. Organise something at work, like drinks on a Friday for the whole office/team/department, so she isn't pressured into it just being you and her, and form a friendship.
This allows you to 'test the water' and then if you feel it is going well, go for it that way. She may perhaps feel she can let her guard down once she knows you aren't a git like her ex (I am assuming this, but if she has been hurt, I think it is safe to say he was a git
:yes: I agree.
as always, jumping on MY band wagon
Its possible that you waited a bit too long and shes dating someone else and might be a bit embarrased to tell you if she has been trying to attract your attention.
I would do as Bunnie said, casual night out with other people, see what happens while you are out.
Best of luck with it.