stress, anger, mood swings and possibly depression???

Former Member

please help me guys, i really dont know what to do about this! i could really do with some advice...here's my problem!!

since october last year i have had ALOT of stress; end of a long term relationship, beginning of a new one with a guy like no one ive ever seen before, 2 family members becomming extremely ill, uni stress, delaying my dissertation and exams, worrying about finding a job!!!
Everything has just got on top of me now. everything's sorted, but i seem to be turning into the bitch from hell. my moods are all over the place. 1 minute im totally happy, then BAM! it's like somebody flicks a switch and i feel insanely angry and irritated with my bf for no reason! he is SO So patient, he must be a saint, but this keeps upsetting me.

Also, recently i feel so fat and horrible. its seriously depressing me. i was badly bullied and in an emotionally abusive relationship for about 3 years when i was younger, and i dont know how to get over my lack of self esteem. i know im not fat, im a size 10, but i feel out of proportion. i have a big bum, hips and thighs and love handles (which no matter of healthy eating combined with exercise seems to help to tone up), but virtually no boobs. if i had the money tomorrow i would have lipo and a boob job. i know that isnt the answer, i need to work on my self-esteem. Trouble is, il be happy for a while, then something will knock me back. like, last month i bought some sexy underwear for my fella, only to find i couldn't wear the stockings as my thighs bulged and spilt out from them

So, if anyone has read this long ramble, thank you! and what im really after is ways i can boost my confidence, tone up (i am starting swimming, but struggle due to my asthma), and most importantly stop my mental mood swings!!
Thanx guys!!!
L+C

Former Member

Just a quick word before I go to bed - my doctor advised me to exercise because I didn't want to go on medication for my depression - exercise will make you feel better because of the endorphins and hopefully the feeling of accomplishment, as well as toning you up. Swimming is great, but simple walking helps as well. A pedometer is handy. Best of luck

And to have such a brilliant bf is such an advantage, mine has been there for me through it all, so hang on to him

Former Member

I used to have terrible mood swings. At its worst, I remember walking to a restaurant in Paris with my friends, then suddenly walking out, preferring to walk the streets of an unknown city alone. Years later, they're pretty much under control, it took a lot of work. What helped me was to 'deconstruct' things, to see where I was going wrong. A lot of my problems stemmed around my anxiety, and my habit of getting into negative thinking patterns, and generally living for 'drama'. After pin-pointing that, it helped me to see where I could take steps to change things.

After I came off my anti-depressants, about 6 months down the line, I had a bit of a bad patch (not depression) but unhappy all the same. I found supplimenting with fish oils helped, as did using MoodGym. The CBT I had with my therapist, in conjunction with the programe and with general more positive thinking (+ exercise) really changed the way I deal with stress, and how I feel in everyday life.

Regarding on how you feel about your body, 'tone' is a bit of a misleading term as it really just means a lean look: muscular definition minus the fat. Cardio alone will make you a smaller version of what you are now, if you want to change your composition so you end up with a look a la Jessica Alba, your eating habits have the most influence in this, followed by resistance training with heavy weights, followed by cardio in that order. It takes a lot of hard work, and results don't always show themselves quickly (I learned that the hard way ) but on the plus, any exercise you do has a very positive impact on your mood, and might help with your confidence too. But like I said, it's a total lifestyle change to get to that, maybe it might be a good idea for you to focus on using exercise as a means to lift your mood, rather than changing your shape for now. You might find that as the weeks go on, you feel better and better without noticing the gradual changes.

Former Member

At my uni, they have a counselling sevice- do they have one at yours? It sounds to me like you are simply overwhelmed right now. Talking to someone would help you sort out how you're feeling and a weekly appointment would maybe put a little structure into your week. Knowing that you have that coming up and can offload all your stress and worries there might make you calmer at other times.

Being uncomfortable with your body is something I have trouble with, so I don't think I'm best placed to give advice on that one. Look after yourself. Exercise is good for you in healthy moderation. Treat yourself with things that make you feel special to remind you that you are.

I don't know what to say, I'm a bit crap at giving advice... But lots of love, and I hope you feel more balanced soon.