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Should We Just Break Up Now
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok me and my b/f have been together about 18 months, we've had a lot of problems but worked through most of them, The problem is he's decided to move to america for a year in september and we've already decided a long distance thing wouldnt work for us so we are going to break up.
The thing is he wants us to carry on being with each other till august and then just calling it a day then, i'm not so sure thats a good thing though because i think im gona be really hurt when we finish so maybe its better to just do it now rather than dragging it out. I also think im feeling a bit used that he wants to finish when it suits him, should i just end it now..
The thing is he wants us to carry on being with each other till august and then just calling it a day then, i'm not so sure thats a good thing though because i think im gona be really hurt when we finish so maybe its better to just do it now rather than dragging it out. I also think im feeling a bit used that he wants to finish when it suits him, should i just end it now..
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Comments
Yes.
If you wait until she goes to america it will be ten times harder, for her at least, because not only will she have a break up to deal with but she'll also be living thousands of miles away and have to settle somewhere shes not familiar with. During break ups you ideally want to be around your mates all the time.
This sounds like a really tough decision to make and I can totally understand you feeling used in the run up to him leaving.
I actually think it is a really mature decision to end it in the long run. LDRs are hard enough when you're in the same country, but when you move to a new country it's a different story imo - if you have a long history together, there's complete trust and you are both very confident people then you have a chance. Without all of these things I think it's a painful situation regardless of your good intentions and how much you like the person when you are together.
As for now, I mainly agree with budda - but then again I think you kind of have to know that when he leaves, you're not going to blame him or resent him - as this could eat you up. Perhaps start making plans for the exciting things you are going to do from August - that way it won't just be him who has something to look forward to.
If you no. Then why did you even try in the first place?
I do enjoy being with him and spending time with him, i just dont wana be the one who's left hurt, and because we live together its gona be harder, if i end it now we still have to see each other all the time till he leaves.
To sophie: And we both know the LDR thing wont work cos he already has trust issues, like if we go out and i talk to someone he tells me im be flirty and i know it would just drive him mad if he was in another country thinking i was flirty with other guys.
I've decided to finish with him tomorrow night.. Even though i love him its not worth it because we are going to finish anyway so whats the point of dragging it out.. Also while he's getting excited and making plans to go away im the one who's left feeling a bit shit.
Also has anyone got any advice for how i should tell him i want to finish, i've never actually finished broke up with someone before.. Also as we live together and will be for the next few months any ideas of how we still remain friends for the next few months.
Dont think we'l do the whole LDR thing but maybe we'l just keep in touch and see what happens when he gets back, he's even asked me to go over and visit him there for a few weeks so maybe it'l work out ok.
Sounds like a great idea