long distance relationships

Former Member

hi guys....hope this is the right section

so, i've started going out with an old flame of mine who lives at the other end of the country. we split up the first time cos of the way our lives were at the time. but we're giving it another go and trying to see each other as often as we can.

just feel at the moment that its so hard. i love her so much, really. i've never met anybody like her before, she's something else. i think if things were normal then itd be that amazing honeymoon period now, but we're making do with an hour and a half on the phone every night and seeing each other every other weekend.

so, do these things generally work? we've been friends for years but this last year or so things have happened and we're so close now. do you think we NEED to have firm plans in place to be living together or near each other in the near future? cos a lot of our phone conversations are about how we cant wait to be together and stuff. she gets upset when she's drunk that we aren't closer in distance to each other, but that's got a lot to do with the fact that we're so close emotionally i think.

id be happy to move in the next year or so if things are still going well. she does something really amazing to me that not a lot of other girls have ever done. just hurts that i'm not physically with her now.

any thoughts/experiences would be great, guys!

Former Member

They can work, but it's difficult. You've both got to want it as much as the other and be able to get on with life apart. Enjoy the time you get to talk and when you do see each other make the most. It's tough starting off at a distance and don't let anything that happened last time you were together effect things now.

I've just got back with an old flame of mine and things sound like they were exactly the same for us as you. I'll be moving to the other end of the country in Sept and he's staying up north. We're just going to take things slowly and see how things go. Planning on moving in together early on is a mistake in my eye's. You need to be sure before giving everything and moving to the other end of the country for each other.

You'll both have times when you hate it and get upset, but you've just got to be strong for the other and make sure they know you'll always be there for each other and that you both feel loved and special to the other even when ya apart.

Former Member

I think you should at least give it a go if it's what you both want, what's the worst that could happen?

I've been in a long distance relationship, (I'd say a few 100 miles) we used to see each other every weekend and eventually ended up living together and wanting to get our own place. It wasn't particularly difficult, abit expensive though paying for trains that often.

If it is something you both want then see how it goes, if you're getting on well then look into moving closer together, I'd recommend renting first though just incase!

Former Member

they do work provided that you're willing to put a lot into the relationship to make it work. it depends totally on the individuals and what they want and can tolerate. i mean, the physical side of your relationship is practically non existent because you're so far apart - for some thats a bigger issue than others.

Former Member

Oh, been there done that, more than once :P
LDR's can certainly work out, but it takes alot of work sometimes. You might just have one advantage, you seem to know her pretty well since you've been friends for a while. As long as you've cleansed the air between you since last time, I'd give it a try. If you find out that you really wanna go for this, try to make some more concrete plans as for being permanently together, that will make the waiting time a whole lot easier.

One piece of advice. Don't forget to have your own life when being apart. Hang out with friends, do stuff you like, as before!

Just my two cents in the evening...Good løkk!