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Help with my insanity please...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I can't stop thinking about my ex. And this was like 5 years ago and not even that serious, though she was a great girl. And I'm so close to phoning her up or going round her house or something, despite the fact that I sent her some daft letter around 3 yrs ago (yes I seriously regret that, thankfully I've at least grown out of writing love letters since) and she told me she had a boyfriend, I've bumped into her twice since and she ignored me both times, I emailed her and asked her out sometime around a year ago and had no reply and I sent her a graduation card around a year ago and heard nothing. I've never been able to let go of this and yes I know it's seriously unhealthy to think this way, and that it's not cool and it's not fair on her for me to pursue her like this either, but every couple of days she comes into my head, these ideas come into my head and they take some getting rid of. I've always had this problem with past relationships, I can never seem to look forward instead of back. I think just lately it actually has more to do with the fact that I've not had a love interest in my life for a little while, and the frustration of that is driving me to ideas like this. Ever since I finished Uni a couple of years ago and have been working, I've found girls and dating and all the rest of it much harder to come buy, as my life routine these days dictates that I won't meet as many women.
Anyway, despite all the reasons not to, I'm still tempted to do this. Am I a glutton for punishment or something? Please please tell me that this is suicidal, the worst idea ever and to get a grip. I wish I could be happy with being single right now, but as it's been a while since I've been with someone, that just isn't working out - I'm ready for a relationship again, but of course, the more you're looking, the harder it is. So, basically, I think I need to work on my attitude, to learn to look forward etc. Any advice? This is bordering on obsessive and I so don't wanna be that creep. And I hope I'm not coming across as a creep either - I usually have a healthy attitude towards women and respect them, but at times like this I guess I can be a bit messed up...
Anyway, despite all the reasons not to, I'm still tempted to do this. Am I a glutton for punishment or something? Please please tell me that this is suicidal, the worst idea ever and to get a grip. I wish I could be happy with being single right now, but as it's been a while since I've been with someone, that just isn't working out - I'm ready for a relationship again, but of course, the more you're looking, the harder it is. So, basically, I think I need to work on my attitude, to learn to look forward etc. Any advice? This is bordering on obsessive and I so don't wanna be that creep. And I hope I'm not coming across as a creep either - I usually have a healthy attitude towards women and respect them, but at times like this I guess I can be a bit messed up...
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Comments
You do need to concentrate on other girls, if this girl wanted you she'd have had you by now.
Lol, kiddy? You were younger than me last time I checked! And where you been on msn lately?
And yes, that's what I need to hear. More please people - slap some sense into me. I wouldn't say stalker though - 3 attempts at contact in 5 years is hardly looking through her window every night with a telescope...!
Have you got a telescope ? If you have get rid of it, you will only be tempted
I think it should be obvious she has moved on and isn't interested. She is getting on with her life you have got to do the same and now! Don't spend another 5 years like the last. Seriously dude, you seem a nice guy, but don't let this consume your life. Nobody would want to see that, especially your ex girlfriend.
:thumb:
Yeah, I know what you're saying man. I did get over it, until my love life dried up at times and I went back to it, and I think the same has happened again now. I've been with girls in between - it's just when I'm single and fed up that it becomes a problem. It's like having an addiction to something you know is bad for you. One day you manage to give it up and move on. But eventually, when you're tired of being without it, you go back to it, even know you know it's harmful to you, until you eventually realise how stupid it is and snap out of it again - I'm just in one of those phases again right now...
Keep busy dude. Put yourself out at work, take up some new hobbies, anything to keep yourself busy and having time to dwell on things. Thats the key.
Good luck :thumb:
PS: I notice you didn't comment regards the telescope.
Thanks man.
Lol, she lives like 5 miles away. Unless NASA would like to design me something, she's pretty safe!
Binoculars should do the trick
You seem to have an unhealthy knowledge of spying equipment yourself if you don't mind me saying so...
I always get v upset when relationships end - even with the last one, who was a nice enough guy, only together for three months, amicable split, but still, was gutted for a while.
Also, as most of my sdult life so far has been taken up with relationships of various quality and length, being single is a real adjustment. Mostly I have to say Im loving it, but sometimes it can be a lonely place. Am enjoying re discovering hanging out more with mates, socialising etc.
Yet still sometimes miss my ex -you will get over it, (cliche warning) it just seems to take time. The best way to get over someone is def not to get under another tho. Tried that one a little too much...
BTW: Any suggestions for asking her out? Should I ask if I should ring her first and do it by phone? I'm just thinking that would be more genuine to her than via text...
Possibly, I dunno. I won't really know for a while. I won't get hurt though - I'm prepared. And i'm harder these days... :thumb:
Tell me more
Damn, I set myself up for that one didn't I...
Possibly. Not getting my hopes up though - it's still a longshot. But like I said, just quite happy she doesn't hate me - that's made me feel better about things, whatever the outcome... :thumb: