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How to choose a housemate?
Pearly
Posts: 345 The Mix Regular
What do you look for in a housemate (i.e. what's an important first impression or what should you ask when you're interviewing them?) Have you any horror stories to tell of housemates that looked normal when you met them, but ended up being completely crazy?!
This is research for a possible new article, should be quite handy if you're looking for tips on how to interview a potential housemate and so on...
This is research for a possible new article, should be quite handy if you're looking for tips on how to interview a potential housemate and so on...
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The first time I did a houseshare, I chose to move in to the house on the basis that I fancied the guy who lived there.
The night I moved in, he opened a bottle of red wine and er, we ended up getting closely aquainted. (We didn't have sex but there was kissing and drunken rolling around).
That's probably not the best way to choose a housemate but it worked out ok.
If I ever had to share again (god forbid, apart from a husband/partner or very close friend), my essential questions would be:
Do you smoke? I can not live with a smoker.
What's your attitude about people staying over? It can be pretty annoying when you only share with one person but they have another person pracically living there, using bathroom and adding to bills but not contributing.
What's your usual bedtime in the week?
Are you housetrained? I've lived with far too many guys who wee all over the toilet seat, leave pubes in the sink (how do they get there??!) and are generally revolting.
In his case he was the tenant and the other person was the live in owner. (Student type thing, her parents had bought the house, she lived in it and rented some rooms out).
She seemed nice enough when he met her, she said she was a bit obsessive about keeping the place tidy but that was it, but turned out she had OCD and was struggling with depression. She self harmed and tried to OD a couple of times.
While it wasn't her fault she was like this, it's a lot for someone you don't really know to put up with and puts a huge strain on the other house mates.
I guess you can't ask someone whether they have any mental health problems, but it's worth bearing in mind while you interview them and watch out for odd habits.
2nd house - This time a 5-bedroom houseshare (2003) with normal earning workers. The house was kept very tidy (which I like) but the housemates stayed in the bedrooms for longer than what I deemed sociable. I got into a habit of playing computer games while I was in and then basing my social life outside of the house. I ended up living there for 3-and-a-bit years. Most of the rooms changed ownership in that time bar myself and one other housemate. That housemate finally got arrested for assult. Seemed a very nice guy face to face, then chose an evening at random for his outburst. There were two other troubled housemates during the earlier part of my stay (2003) - one got kicked out due to drug addiction... police searches, everything :-) The other attempted suicide, as he moved here to leave his wife and wanted to reverse it.
They all moved on and one replacement that stuck in my mind was Maff - he was only 15/16 - he didn't eat solid food and lived in a nest he had made in his bedroom. He never washed up his manky pans that he used to cook his rice pudding in and I would have to rescue them from his nest every so often. He was a nice enough bloke, never spoke unless he was drunk.
I didn't have any say in any of my flatmates, the landlord used to find them (god knows where) and they would just appear on the doorstep with their belongings
My ex boyfriend's flatmates were all weirdos.
1) Reckoned he was a goth, majorly into final fantasy, ate nothing but mayo sandwiches and drank coke while watching Cartoon Network 24/7. He was 24.
2) Oh god he was a nutter. He had a square head and took too many drugs for his own good. If any girl sat in the living room then he would just stare you out and when you asked 'what?' then acted all offended and came back to reality.
3) The other guy just pure stank.
One word - BACKGROUND.
Ask where they work / study (and how long for) and use references. Have they lived alone or in shared housing before (and where)? My Landlord never, ever gives out keys straight away - everyone visits at least twice before being allowed to move in or not...
... but even then it doesn't always work!! I live with the landlord and 2 other lodgers (plus cat!) and the new person is NOT what we expected... in fact, New Arrival is the reason I registered here in the early hours of this morning.
We realised "Charlie" wasn't particularly bright, what we didn't know is that Charlie just can't deal with life. So we've all been driven up the wall by Charlie's three second memory span and need to do things on the "right days" to make sure they get done... but still leaving stuff in the bathroom and wandering off mid-conversation??
In short, if you aren't sure don't let them in (and if you notice problems after they arrive, nip it straight in the bud). We're currently at the point of not knowing whether Charlie can be evicted, if we should basically ignore Charlie in their own home, or should get in touch with Charlie's employer??
:nervous: why the fuck didn't you move out ... out of interest...
plus if you mix them you have the problem of council tax
Because by the time it got that bad I had no-where else to go - fell out big time with parents and controlling boyfriend saw all my friends off
When I fell pregnant the landlord took pity, sorted the place out as best he could and moved me to the downstairs 2 bedroom flat when my son arrived. I had to leave that place when the ceiling fell in on us!!! By that time the arrears were down to a minimum and I was allowed a bank account that could do standing orders so I paid him back monthly from my new posh place.
I've lived in my current houseshare for nearly 4 years now and seen loads of people come and go. I guess I've been very lucky in that I haven't had anybody truely dodgy move in, though the process of having a stranger move in is always awkward.
Interviewing prospective housemates can backfire on you. One guy who moved in a few years ago seemed fantastic- he was a freelance graphic designer who used to be in a band. We both liked films, had similar tastes in music and got on well for the first few days. He seemed cut out to be the best housemate ever, and then almost overnight he just turned into a raving paranoid lunatic! He was convinced that I was suspicious of him and that I resented his working at home. He bore a year long grudge at me for having my radio on in the morning once, which he claimed had disturbed his sleep. He worked at home! He didn't even have to get up in the morning! I turned it off and apologised straight away when he complained! He would argue with you about anything to the point where he would become abusive, even threatening physical violence on a few occaisions. If he had a beef with you about anything, no matter how trivial (eg: 'You left some crumbs in the kitchen when you made your sandwiches this morning! Why should I have to live in your shit? You mucky c***!') , he would wait for you to come home and row with you, sometimes very late at night if it were a Friday or Saturday. Occasionally he would perform a miraculous personality change to become nice and engaging, but it was always for the purposes of listing good deeds as capital in later arguments. Moody, unstable and quite possibly mentally ill, everone avoided this collossal toerag who was feared and loathed in equal measure. And the reason he bore me in particular such ill will? I got the truth out of him the glorious day he finally slung his hook. It was because I had 'acted all suspicious of him' on the day he came to view the house by asking too many questions. As I recall the most penetrative inquiry I made was to ask him what kind of work he did.
Our house works oddly because when a tennant wants to leave they have to find their replacement themselves and get them to pay their deposit to them. So when I moved in I had to pay the outgoing guy 200 quid and when I move out, whoever replaces me will have to give me 200 quid. Because of this, some housemates can't be bothered to interview people and just let the first person who wants the room move in without consulting us. The other side of this is that an outgoing housemate will arrange to have the prospective newbie turn up to meet everyone, and they either can't be bothered to shuffle out of their bedrooms for five minutes or are out. This hasn't been as bad a system as it sounds (so far, touch wood) and some of the randoms who've turned up here have gone on to become good friends. The thing is that a houseshare is never going to be perfect. I bitch about certain other members of the household being tardy with billing and not cleaning up after themselves, but to be honest I'd rather have that than pay through the nose to live alone in a bedsit.
I would never flat share with a professional whilst i am a student, however i would love to say "you earn more money, you pay my rent"