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Visiting a 'body'

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
God knows if this is the right forum. I can't work out where it would be best to put it so figure I'll put it here and you good ol' mods can move it somewhere else if ye like!!

So, has anybody ever been to visit a 'person' in the funeral home (or whatever they're called) before the actual funeral? There's someone that I want to go and see this weekend but I'm a bit scared. I've never seen a dead body before and I'm not really sure what to expect from the whole thing. Will I be on my own? Or do they insist that someone sits in with me in case I try to run off with the body or something? Is there a dress code? Should I wear black like at the funeral or can I wander in wearing my jeans and trainers and stuff?

Any experiences/advice would be much appreciated.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I never went to see it open. As far as I know from my experience, it was an open coffin in the church the night before the service and anyone could wander it really to pay their respects. My mum said it wasn't bad like she expected, they make them look really peaceful.

    You don't have to wear black (and in my personal experience now at funerals you don't have to wear all black anyway, depends on the relatives wishes I guess) - just something smart will do.

    That's just my experiences though, at a roman catholic funeral (x2). We had a mass kind of thing the night before too and people just turned up in smart clothes like suits / shirts but not all black like on the funeral. Then there's the party / wake thing too.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes. I went to see mum. You can be on your own if you wish and i'd wear what you feel comfortable in.

    I'd never seen a dead body before but it wasn't too bad. She looked different. A bit paler, and her mouth was a bit sunk in because they took her false teeth out but it was still me mum. She just looked like she was asleep. It was one of those coffins where the lid is split in 2 and just the top half was open, because she had a lot of limbs removed shortly before she died.

    It was upsetting but i hadn't seen her for a while so was something i wanted to do and glad i did.

    You do need to think carefully about it as you'll only ever have this one chance of doing it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    "You do need to think carefully about it as you'll only ever have this one chance of doing it."

    That's true. Mind you, I didn't and don't regret it. My memories of my dad are of him being alive and being happy, and just the one of him in hospital a few minutes after he'd passed away.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wear whatever you feel comfortable in.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Loopi wrote: »
    God knows if this is the right forum. I can't work out where it would be best to put it so figure I'll put it here and you good ol' mods can move it somewhere else if ye like!!

    So, has anybody ever been to visit a 'person' in the funeral home (or whatever they're called) before the actual funeral? There's someone that I want to go and see this weekend but I'm a bit scared. I've never seen a dead body before and I'm not really sure what to expect from the whole thing. Will I be on my own? Or do they insist that someone sits in with me in case I try to run off with the body or something? Is there a dress code? Should I wear black like at the funeral or can I wander in wearing my jeans and trainers and stuff?

    Any experiences/advice would be much appreciated.

    Hi,

    I went to see my dad in the funeral parlour. I was a bit scared beforehand but it felt like something I had to do. I went with my mum but my mum didn't want to go in to see him. What happened with me was that I was given a cup of tea beforehand and then led through to the back. There was a very tidy hallway and the rooms had different names on the door.

    The lady who accompanied me was really nice and took me to the door where my dad was. She said that when she opened the door I'd be able to see him giving me advanced warning. I went inside and it was a small room with a comfortable seat, a table with flowers on and a box of tissues. I sat by my dad's coffin and looked inside and he was dressed in a suit and looked very smart.

    It wasn't scary because he looked like he was sleeping but there is something hard to describe that was different about them. My dad's face looked sort of pinched and a little bit older to me. I touched his forehead but drew back because of how cold it was. Anyway I was given however long I wanted alone with him. I had brought along a note for him and before I went into the room the lady said that she could put it inside the coffin with him later..Inside his breast pocket. Anyway I had my time with him and came out. The staff were really sensitive and I'm glad I went.

    Sorry if I went on a bit but this was my experience of it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks so much for your replies. I'm definitely going to see my Granddad - hopefully tomorrow. I've not seen him in a while and I feel that I need to say goodbye. I just want to be fully prepared for the experience and can't really ask anybody because when I talk about it, I cry.

    Thanks again.
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