19 and Feeling left behind

Former Member

I'm feeling further behind everybody else when it comes to growing up. I always thought I was maturer than other people, but recently discovered, I don't look my age or act it... Admittedly, most friends of mine are slightly older, but some are the same age...they all seem to be able to move onto the next stage, some are getting married, having babies, moving away to uni, got jobs, learnt to drive etc...and i'm still at home, going to uni in september but will still be living at home, don't have a job, can;t drive, definately not pregnant, not married or in relationship either now... I feel like I am just behind. anyone else feel this way?

Former Member

Just wait till you get there. I'm nearly 23 and only just came to uni this year and it felt the same way for me. All mates moving out, settling down, kids etc.
But its like a new lease of life and I'm no way ready for any of that stuff at the moment, just enjoy things and take them as they come!

Former Member

All the time. Although I guess thats not a whole lot of comfort coming from me really.

Indrid Cold

I used to feel that way too...
But I've recently learned not to judge my life based on the lives of others, and do what feels right to me instead. Try to do the same. Everyone has their own pace.

Former Member

yeah i guess you're right...
Just a bit difficult sometimes.
lol... yeah i'd better not dwell on this anymore, I will develop a complex!

Former Member

You've just described me. Exactly.

I've just got used to the idea that I'm a late starter. I know I'll get where I want to be, but it's just gonna take a little longer than most people.

All you can do is accept it and embrace it!

Former Member

you're only 19 mate don't worry about it, you've got your whole life to get married/have kids/get a job, when you do settle down there's no going back so make the most of your youth....

Former Member

I used to feel that way, still do to a lesser extent. circumstances are different for everyone though, you can learn to drive and don't have to move out. Im starting uni this year as well but I understand how you feel.

thing is you just have to do what you have to do.

Former Member

Im in the same boat, I'm 19 and until recently had no idea what I was going to do with myself. Get yourself busy planning for the future (uni and so on). The more you focus on that the less you will think about 'being left behind'. As Senor above says, got plenty of years in front of you to make something or yourself.

If you can learn to drive do it, I was lucky and I learnt a few years ago and having a car is great. Understandably though not everyone can dedicate the time or finances to it though.

Former Member

My mate (the only one I really see) got engaged last year and I do feel a bit left behind and a few other mates are seeing people and living with them and I feel a bit left behind with them too but I try and not let it bother me too much.

Former Member

Nutter wrote: »

I'm feeling further behind everybody else when it comes to growing up. I always thought I was maturer than other people, but recently discovered, I don't look my age or act it... Admittedly, most friends of mine are slightly older, but some are the same age...they all seem to be able to move onto the next stage, some are getting married, having babies, moving away to uni, got jobs, learnt to drive etc...and i'm still at home, going to uni in september but will still be living at home, don't have a job, can;t drive, definately not pregnant, not married or in relationship either now... I feel like I am just behind. anyone else feel this way?

I feel the same way as you. Sometimes I feel so awkward because of it. Hmm.. I think a lot of people feel like this at some point. You're 19 so I wouldn't worry too much about the marriage/settling down thing. I'm going to uni in September too, the independence will probably be good all around

Former Member

me too

Former Member

Nutter wrote: »

I'm feeling further behind everybody else when it comes to growing up. I always thought I was maturer than other people, but recently discovered, I don't look my age or act it... Admittedly, most friends of mine are slightly older, but some are the same age...they all seem to be able to move onto the next stage, some are getting married, having babies, moving away to uni, got jobs, learnt to drive etc...and i'm still at home, going to uni in september but will still be living at home, don't have a job, can;t drive, definately not pregnant, not married or in relationship either now... I feel like I am just behind. anyone else feel this way?

Are you happy with your life? If not, then tackle those issues, but don't compare yourself to others.

I don't understand people who are in a big hurry to "grow up". I left home at 17 and struggled with the concept of spending my hard earned money on stuff like washing up liquid and toilet paper.

By the way, you don't need to equate being in a relationship or getting pregnant with moving on...far better to be alone and work on yourself in my opinion. You're only 19, make the most of the years you have to concentrate on yourself and be selfish, pursue your interests, make an interesting career path for yourself.

If you're living at home and will get a student loan, you will more than likely be able to afford one or two driving lessons a week, so do it.

Seriously, you have your WHOLE LIFE to do grown up stuff, don't rush into it!

Former Member

Thanks guys.

Former Member

I've always been mature for my age but i think i've caught up with myself now. I'm still the most mature out of my friends though.