If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
Bit of a story for ya!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Thought I'd make a bit of discussion I've not been around much for a while.
My experience with drugs is pretty messed up considering my age and I feel the journey is nearing an end now as I've done everything but here...
Started smoking dope at 12 or 13 heavily. Got into raves and stuff not long after and started with the pills and the speed and eventually coke, absolutey hammered the stims from being 14. Messed my head up on too many all nighters and all round excessive use. Had a few months break, went back to occaisional use and ganja smoking.
Was doing pretty well until an unfortunate event happened which left me in hospital and a lot of time recovering... this resulted in an addiction to morphine, dihydrocodeine and the start of a diazepam habit. From there I got myself a huge benzo habit and used a lot of drugs at the same time. From there its taken a long time to sort my head out, a lot of unfortunate things have happened and I've had quite a few knock backs (non drug related but definately didnt help).
Got deep into coke, got myself into a lot of debt. Did smack, crack etc... simply because I'd done everything that much it seemed like nothing and even though I enjoyed the experiences, I have no desire to do them again for my own sake and those around me.Things did get a little messy though and the time has now come to turn my shit around. A head frying acid trip recently helped move me in the right direction, I felt the head thrash and on acid you explore your mind, I learnt a lot that night. Some people may call it a bad trip, I call it a wake up call. So I'm now taking a whole new approach, I'm never saying never to anything and I'm sure I will still have the odd dabble in the right place at the right time (if there ever is one).
At the end of the day Ive not even been legal to drink a year yet and I sound like a proper veteran, can't believe what I've done, but I've come to no harm mentally or physically... quit while you still can etc.
I've excessively used coke, benzos, weed, opiates (prescribed and not), e's, speed. And these are the things that I think mess you up the most, I'm an intense person always seeking for something more than mere existence I guess.
I've tried the two most (supposedly) serious drugs smack and crack... the skag was too nice, an experience to be cherished and looked upon as something never to be repeated. Crack was good for about 5 mins. I've done acid a few times and a few shrooms, I can see why people like it but the ups and downs and unpredictable nature of trips is enough to put me off a bit but I've had a couple of very memorable experiences. It does feel like your eating your way to a psychiatric unit though when your on trips, last one took me a few days to sort my head out again. But you learn from them thats a cert.
End of the day I have no regrets and a lot of memories, mostly good... but all good things must end sooner or later and I'd rather get out before rock bottom (if it were ever going to be that way).
I'm still addicted to diazepam although on less than 5mg a day down from 100mg so I've come a long way there. Still bound to puff away sometimes, the so called gateway drug eh, well I'll tell you what Frank, gateways open both ways... I can use it to get out too hehe.
So I'm currently owing a couple of hundred out, tapering off the benzos and thats all. I'm approaching life from a new angle. It might not be easy sometimes but its easier than dealing with everything that can come with regular and excessive drug use. I've fucked up in some ways and got lucky and not paid too dearly.
So basically, iv done everything almost except injecting drugs and dont get me wrong I'm not scared of doing so, just could never do so because I know myself too well and know what it would do to my life and those around me. In two words fuck that, thats were the fun ends and you start digging a hole that can be very difficult to get out of.
Time for a fresh start and a new outlook, and I'm looking forward to it believe me.:thumb:
And to all those who are feeling shot through or headfucked right about now, it will pass if you make the changes, I did and went back and still have no harm, lucky eh? Learn from it and move on. If you use drugs I believe you should learn from experiences and do whatever is right.
It's been an adventure and I've seen life over the last few years. Now its time to move on and push forward for what I want in the LONG TERM.
Look after yourselves and make the most of your time, coz you could drop down tomorrow. I can honeslty say I have no regrets and have lived a happy life up to now and would like to continue to do so, hence the change.
:wave:
My experience with drugs is pretty messed up considering my age and I feel the journey is nearing an end now as I've done everything but here...
Started smoking dope at 12 or 13 heavily. Got into raves and stuff not long after and started with the pills and the speed and eventually coke, absolutey hammered the stims from being 14. Messed my head up on too many all nighters and all round excessive use. Had a few months break, went back to occaisional use and ganja smoking.
Was doing pretty well until an unfortunate event happened which left me in hospital and a lot of time recovering... this resulted in an addiction to morphine, dihydrocodeine and the start of a diazepam habit. From there I got myself a huge benzo habit and used a lot of drugs at the same time. From there its taken a long time to sort my head out, a lot of unfortunate things have happened and I've had quite a few knock backs (non drug related but definately didnt help).
Got deep into coke, got myself into a lot of debt. Did smack, crack etc... simply because I'd done everything that much it seemed like nothing and even though I enjoyed the experiences, I have no desire to do them again for my own sake and those around me.Things did get a little messy though and the time has now come to turn my shit around. A head frying acid trip recently helped move me in the right direction, I felt the head thrash and on acid you explore your mind, I learnt a lot that night. Some people may call it a bad trip, I call it a wake up call. So I'm now taking a whole new approach, I'm never saying never to anything and I'm sure I will still have the odd dabble in the right place at the right time (if there ever is one).
At the end of the day Ive not even been legal to drink a year yet and I sound like a proper veteran, can't believe what I've done, but I've come to no harm mentally or physically... quit while you still can etc.
I've excessively used coke, benzos, weed, opiates (prescribed and not), e's, speed. And these are the things that I think mess you up the most, I'm an intense person always seeking for something more than mere existence I guess.
I've tried the two most (supposedly) serious drugs smack and crack... the skag was too nice, an experience to be cherished and looked upon as something never to be repeated. Crack was good for about 5 mins. I've done acid a few times and a few shrooms, I can see why people like it but the ups and downs and unpredictable nature of trips is enough to put me off a bit but I've had a couple of very memorable experiences. It does feel like your eating your way to a psychiatric unit though when your on trips, last one took me a few days to sort my head out again. But you learn from them thats a cert.
End of the day I have no regrets and a lot of memories, mostly good... but all good things must end sooner or later and I'd rather get out before rock bottom (if it were ever going to be that way).
I'm still addicted to diazepam although on less than 5mg a day down from 100mg so I've come a long way there. Still bound to puff away sometimes, the so called gateway drug eh, well I'll tell you what Frank, gateways open both ways... I can use it to get out too hehe.
So I'm currently owing a couple of hundred out, tapering off the benzos and thats all. I'm approaching life from a new angle. It might not be easy sometimes but its easier than dealing with everything that can come with regular and excessive drug use. I've fucked up in some ways and got lucky and not paid too dearly.
So basically, iv done everything almost except injecting drugs and dont get me wrong I'm not scared of doing so, just could never do so because I know myself too well and know what it would do to my life and those around me. In two words fuck that, thats were the fun ends and you start digging a hole that can be very difficult to get out of.
Time for a fresh start and a new outlook, and I'm looking forward to it believe me.:thumb:
And to all those who are feeling shot through or headfucked right about now, it will pass if you make the changes, I did and went back and still have no harm, lucky eh? Learn from it and move on. If you use drugs I believe you should learn from experiences and do whatever is right.
It's been an adventure and I've seen life over the last few years. Now its time to move on and push forward for what I want in the LONG TERM.
Look after yourselves and make the most of your time, coz you could drop down tomorrow. I can honeslty say I have no regrets and have lived a happy life up to now and would like to continue to do so, hence the change.
:wave:
0
Comments
I can relate to a lot of that, didn't take half the shit you have but when you get to the point where you're not enjoying the buzz or it's having a more detrimental than good effect on you as a person then it's time to hit it on the head.
Like the part where you say there's no such thing as a bad trip, just a wake up call. True, all trips are an experience with some good coming out of it, at the time you may feel like your spiralling out of control and losing yourself in your own head but ultimately, it shapes you as a person.
100%
Really surprised your only 18.
Shit you have been through a lot for an 18 year old, but it sounds like you have got your head sorted and know what you want now.
All the best
:thumb:
You've certainly lived mate and it will be hard for you, but I've got a lot of respect for what you're doing. You're doing something that I'm not strong enough to do.
Good luck.
im taking a serious attempt at turning myself aroud here too, im starting to concern people around me nevermind myself and thats purely selfish
fire me a pm and keep me updated mate
I'll keep updating you lot on here, and to Z- and anyone else in the same boat, all the best...it ain't easy but there are ways to make it less difficult.
Feel free to pm me anybody with any questions etc.
I'm glad a few of you can relate to it anyways, that was the purpose... hopefully at least one person will take from that and use it to help themselves.
I'm trying to become the person I want to be and someone that can be looked up to and respected. I just thought "Do I still want to be doing the same things in 5 years?" of course not, make the changes now before it gets any more difficult.
Even now I'm in withdrawals from my diazepam because iv lost almost a weeks worth of tablets, physically its not very nice and mentally its nasty and exhausting... nothing to take it away, nothing to do to make yourself feel better, but the anxiety becomes an adrenaline rush, knowing that all it is, is chemicals adjusting back to normal (in simple terms). Hot flashes, sweating and all that... but I'm enjoying it. If you can beat benzo addiction it shows you have some serious inner strength, a few months ago I thought I'd never get off them.
Sometimes in life you've gotta love the fights to get through, don't dwell on things you cant control or change.
When I finally pull myself free of this mess I'd like to help others with my experience and if anyone knows how I could go about this (as in work wise) or could help me it'd be greatly appreciated. :thumb:
Thanks.
wish me luck cuz its gona be hard knockin this in the head