Would you ever get into a relationship with someone...

Former Member · August 2003

in a wheelchair?

Nothing wrong with thier brains, but say, someone had muscular dystrophe disease?
Thier muscles were wasting away and you know that when they are about 50 or 60 they might die but for now they can do everyday things but confined to a wheelchair, would you get together with them?

Former Member · August 2003

No because i wouldn't want to be with someone in a weelchair in the 1st place. if i'd been married to someone for a number of years and then they was in a wheelchair well thats a different story but to actually start a relationship with someone in a wheelchair..i just wouldn't do it.

Former Member · August 2003

No, I don't think I would. Partly for selfish reasons, such as I wouldn't want to have to look after someone that much. And partly because I think other people would think it was a bit weird.
But, as it's an unlikely situation to arise, I could never be absolutely shure.

Is this hypothetical Jellygirl, or is there someone you know - a friend, or even yourself, perhaps?

Mr_Wobble

Former Member · August 2003

i think it would depend on how i felt about them, i wouldnt say no though.

Former Member · August 2003

Originally posted by Mr_Wobble
No, I don't think I would. Partly for selfish reasons, such as I wouldn't want to have to look after someone that much. And partly because I think other people would think it was a bit weird.

Mr_Wobble

Yup.. That's what I would've said :P

Ilora x

Former Member · August 2003

Heck no, I would not. I wouldn't find a disabled person attractive in the first place.

Former Member · August 2003

i don't know, tbh.

i'd lean towards what the others have said in that i wouldn't want to have someone rely on me for anything.

but if they were totally self-sufficient, just had no use of their legs, then yeah, why the hell not?

Former Member · August 2003

Originally posted by lipsy
No because i wouldn't want to be with someone in a weelchair in the 1st place. if i'd been married to someone for a number of years and then they was in a wheelchair well thats a different story but to actually start a relationship with someone in a wheelchair..i just wouldn't do it.

What she said!

Former Member · August 2003

Everbody has something wrong with them - but they also have their good points - you got to see if one outweighs the other and even then - it still might not bother you.

I don't think meeting someone in a wheelchair would put me off if they were perfect in every other way.

Former Member · August 2003

If they were severely disabled, then no. Simply because I don't think I'm a strong enough person to deal with that and I wouldn't be able to give them what they wanted.

Former Member · August 2003

Originally posted by perfect***day
If they were severely disabled, then no. Simply because I don't think I'm a strong enough person to deal with that and I wouldn't be able to give them what they wanted.

and probably they wouldn't be able to give you what you wanted

Former Member · August 2003

Originally posted Mr_Wobble

Is this hypothetical Jellygirl, or is there someone you know - a friend, or even yourself, perhaps?

A man has asked me out and says he really likes me he's nice looking and everything but i really don't think i can cope with someone in a wheelchair, his muscles are wasting away and when i told him i dont think i could cope with his illness he made me feel really bad like i'm the only person on earth that would say no so i kinda did this thread to prove it to myself that i'm not the only one.

Former Member · August 2003

Hey at least you're being honest with him - better that then going out with the guy cos you feel sorry for him.

And it's different if they're in a wheelchair and that's it - compared to an ongoing thing where they're getting worse and worse all the time.

Former Member · August 2003

Originally posted by DiamondGeezer
Hey at least you're being honest with him - better that then going out with the guy cos you feel sorry for him.

And it's different if they're in a wheelchair and that's it - compared to an ongoing thing where they're getting worse and worse all the time.

:yes: Don't feel bad cause you told him the truth, you would feel so much worse if you had lied to him about it, or if you went out with him cause you felt sorry for him (trust me, I know!)

Former Member · August 2003

I suppose it would depend on the person and the situation. I do think that an able person and a disabled person can make it together though, i know a couple who are getting married next year and he's wheelchair bound but they seem to have a really strong bond.

Former Member · August 2003

Originally posted by jellygirl
i kinda did this thread to prove it to myself that i'm not the only one.

Well, you're not the only one then. Most of us would have reservations and worries about going out with someone in a wheelchair, especially if it was because of a condiditon that's only going to become worse over time.

Mr_Wobble

Former Member · August 2003

If I like them enough, I might, it depends on what the person expected from me. I do actually know someone in a wheelchair who is fit, but he has a fit girlf and ive never thought about getting with him for this reason and this reason alone.

Former Member · August 2003

Jellygirl, you did the right thing considering your feelings - it would`ve been so wrong to go out with him because you didn`t like to say no, and then it would`ve been even harder to get out of. So don`t feel guilty.

Just for the record I`m with someone who, whilst he`s not in a wheelchair now, he is going to end up in one. His condition has deteriorated over the last couple of years and I have to do a fair bit for him now. It`s not something you`d take on lightly.

Former Member · September 2003

**Update** He asked me to at least give him a chance so I went on a date with him yesterday and i could see he was quite independent and the date was lovely and he's sweeter than any man I've ever met. So i said we'll take it slowly see how it goes. But he's lovely and makes me

. Mostly I'm worried about what other people will think.

Former Member · September 2003

Well what other people think shouldn't matter in an ideal world.

I think your main concerns when you first posted wasn't the fact he's in a wheelchair BUT he's gonna get worse and worse over time... I think that's the main concern most people would have.

If you meet a guy and he's in a wheel chair and he gonna stay as he is - then you know what you're letting yourself in for but if he's got something that's gonna make him more helpless day by day then that's something to think about...

Having said that - the againg process is the same exact thing anyway - just much slower and you're effected by aging just as much as your Partner..

Former Member · September 2003

Originally posted by jellygirl
**Update** He asked me to at least give him a chance so I went on a date with him yesterday and i could see he was quite independent and the date was lovely and he's sweeter than any man I've ever met. So i said we'll take it slowly see how it goes. But he's lovely and makes me . Mostly I'm worried about what other people will think.

Stuff what other people think. It`s what you think that matters.

Would you ever get into a relationship with someone...

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