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help needed urgently!!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
this is possibly the worst situation ive ever found myself in..
OK about mid july started officially going out with a girl who i'd been seeing since december. I like her alot as a person but im not that attracted to her. Anyway things were going good and we had sex for the first time just before she went on holiday which was mid august.
In the mean time i find out on the second day of her holiday that a girl i work with and have almost fallen in love with fancies me. So the inevitable happens and i start seeing this girl. I like her alot!! Now the GF has just got back from holiday and im faced with the absolute wankish and daunting task of finishing with her.
Anyway she phoned this evening but i bottled it and im getting the feeling that the other girl wont wait around long and i dont want to 2 time her (which is a contradiction to my current actions)
My current GF is going to uni which is about 200 miles away in the beginning of october whilst the girl im seeing is going on holiday for 2 weeks in a weeks time.
What im thinking is that can i hold dumping my GF off until she goes to uni and then just say that i wont be able to handle the long distance thing or should i just come out with it now and say well sorry but im seeing a girl ive had feelings for for a long time?
whoa this sucks and i know i seem like a complete wanka, but i seriously dont want to hurt my GF and i just cant help my feelings about the girl im seeing! Any opinions would be much appreciated.
OK about mid july started officially going out with a girl who i'd been seeing since december. I like her alot as a person but im not that attracted to her. Anyway things were going good and we had sex for the first time just before she went on holiday which was mid august.
In the mean time i find out on the second day of her holiday that a girl i work with and have almost fallen in love with fancies me. So the inevitable happens and i start seeing this girl. I like her alot!! Now the GF has just got back from holiday and im faced with the absolute wankish and daunting task of finishing with her.
Anyway she phoned this evening but i bottled it and im getting the feeling that the other girl wont wait around long and i dont want to 2 time her (which is a contradiction to my current actions)
My current GF is going to uni which is about 200 miles away in the beginning of october whilst the girl im seeing is going on holiday for 2 weeks in a weeks time.
What im thinking is that can i hold dumping my GF off until she goes to uni and then just say that i wont be able to handle the long distance thing or should i just come out with it now and say well sorry but im seeing a girl ive had feelings for for a long time?
whoa this sucks and i know i seem like a complete wanka, but i seriously dont want to hurt my GF and i just cant help my feelings about the girl im seeing! Any opinions would be much appreciated.
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Comments
is that i wont be able to handle the fact that she'll be far away. Now i could tell her that tommorow or i could try and leave it until she actually goes to uni which is in a month (which means lying to both girls)
it seems so obvious but im too chicken sh!t to tell her the truth
It's the best for your girlfriend as she'll have a few weeks to get over it before she goes away. It's best for your new girlfriend. And if nothing else it's going to be best for you as you won't feel the guilt as badly anymore.
We're all telling you exactly what you already know, and what you already know you have to do. Get it out of the way. Do it. Pluck up the courage and do it now.
Imagine if a friend of yours approached you with the same situation. You know what's right. You know what you'd tell him. You know what you've got to do.
Come back here within the next couple of days and tell us how it went.
Mr_Wobble
I think you have sum probs with this one. ok the only true to heart thing I'm going to say is " TREAT BOTH OF THEM HOW YOU'D WANT TO BE TREATED". personally its not fair to ur current gf...so u better break if off STAT...and if you really like this other girl so much then you should have no prob in doing so. just remember don't hurt her feelings. and don't lie just tell her that you two have grown apart and that you aren't sure where the relationship is going. thats all you have to say. if she asks for the truth truth like if u have another girl lined up...then be a good bloke..(unlike most) and tell her gently... just don't two time while one is in town and or the other is out of town thats just not acceptible
goodluck boy!
let us kno how things end up for ya
well a day after my last reply when i dumped the GF. She rang me and asked if everything was ok and i confessed that i wouldnt be able to handle the fact that she was going to uni. I couldnt tell her the full truth because she had such a bad holiday and she was also having a lot of problems.
The weird/mad thing is she was so nice about it, i started to cry (OMG) it felt as tho i was breaking up a perfectly good relationship to start another. I remebered all our good times and thought how much of a c*nt i was being to her when she didnt deserve it. Also she was saying things like "we will always be friends" and "you are the only man ive ever trusted"
well after the conversation i cried again because it was so emotionally hard for me. Anyway me and the now 'ex' have pledged to be friends and the new girl is now my GF, so its kinda turned out ok.
But one thing you should know is that sometimes you can care alot for 2 people and its just as hard for that person to make a descition(sp). I hope i never find myself in that position again.
thanks 4 the advice
Mind you, maybe she's got the vibe from you over the past couple of weeks that things aren't well. Or that the relationship wasn't going anywhere, and may have contemplated breaking it up herslef. Maybe there's a sense of relief for her too. I dunno. Just throwing a few thoughts in there.
Mr_Wobble