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What now?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi all,
Right, I've been seeing a girl now for quite a while (about a year). She is a great lass and we get on well.
She went on holiday and came home last night and confessed to me that she had slept with someone else whilst she's been on holiday. She was really upset about it, apologising over and over again and telling me she has made the biggest mistake of her life, that she loves me, doesn't want me to leave her etc. etc.
Thing is, when I got with this girl I'd just been fucked about (not been cheated on) by a lass who I had been seeing for 3yrs and I said I didn't want another girl but couldn't resist and got into a relationship with this one.
I've just started having strong feelings for this girl and it has hurt me what she has done and I don't know what to do.
Should I forgive her and try and carry on?
If I carry on will I be setting myself up to get fucked about yet again by a girl?
Should I tell her to fuck off and find someone else?
Should I tell her to fuck off and stay away from girls for a while?
Any help, opinions, similar experiences would me much appreciated.
Ask any questions if you feel I've missed anything out.
cheers.
Right, I've been seeing a girl now for quite a while (about a year). She is a great lass and we get on well.
She went on holiday and came home last night and confessed to me that she had slept with someone else whilst she's been on holiday. She was really upset about it, apologising over and over again and telling me she has made the biggest mistake of her life, that she loves me, doesn't want me to leave her etc. etc.
Thing is, when I got with this girl I'd just been fucked about (not been cheated on) by a lass who I had been seeing for 3yrs and I said I didn't want another girl but couldn't resist and got into a relationship with this one.
I've just started having strong feelings for this girl and it has hurt me what she has done and I don't know what to do.
Should I forgive her and try and carry on?
If I carry on will I be setting myself up to get fucked about yet again by a girl?
Should I tell her to fuck off and find someone else?
Should I tell her to fuck off and stay away from girls for a while?
Any help, opinions, similar experiences would me much appreciated.
Ask any questions if you feel I've missed anything out.
cheers.
0
Comments
I can forgive her for what she's done (i think) its mainly the fact that I have been hurt before by a lass and I don't know whether I want to set myself up again to be hurt. I'm falling in love with this girl but my feelings aren't as strong as they will be in say 6 months time and if it gets to that point and it happens again I can only think that it would serve me right for taking her back.
but heres a small bit of advice for ya anyways follow your heart do what you feel is right if that means giving her another chance to prove herself then so be it.
if your good together then dont throw it away you might end up regretting it.
To be perfectly honest I'd get rid - the fact that she did it in the first place shows what kind of person she is and what she thinks of you.
If she had meant the apologies and was so sorry about it all, then she wouldn't have done it in the first place.
Sorry bud, harsh but this is how it is.
I've said exactly that to her about doing it in the first place. Apparently she was crying all the rest of the holiday to her mate because she couldn't believe what she had done and she knew she had to tell me. I believe she is sorry and believe she wouldn't do it again but I don't know whether I can take the risk.
She's kinda forced me into meeting her this afternoon when I finish work so I'm going to go and see her but still don't know what I'm going to do yet, only time will tell.
I'm pissed off because this is a girl I get on with so well, we're constantly having a laugh and there is never a boring moment when we're together. This is just speak because I'm too young and she is way too young but thinking about the future a girl who's sense of humour and attitude to life is like hers is the kind of girl I want to marry. Shame she's a cheating bitch :mad:
Believe me, there will be nicer girls who will treat you better out there.
Personally I feel about it as I put in my last post, but only you really know what's best for you and you have to live with the consequences of your choice, so good luck
She's done the brave but perhaps foolish thing of owning up to it and ou've got to accept and respect that.
As for the future. If you can trust her 100% again then carry on. Relationships are about risks and yes you might get hurt, but then ya might not. If you can't trust her then don't even bother. Just courses grief, agro and far more hurt and if she cares for you she won't risk losing ya again anyways hun.
It sounds like you care deeply for this girl and is that worth throwing away over something as foolish as a holiday shag that nowt will ever come of? She made a mistake, none of us are perfect.
That makes no sense to me.
My friend went on holiday and had sex with someone else while her fiance was at home. She said it was because she didn't want the guy she was with to be the last guy she had sex with for the rest of her life. :rolleyes: She didn't tell him though. Meh. She's only with him because splitting up with him will mean she's lonely.
So, at least your girlfriend isn't like my friend. :eek2:
if you forgive her she'll know you're a soft bastard.
so no. fuck no.
It shouldn't make a difference, but when people are on hol attitudes change, drink flows more, and people are far more relaxed. The whole point of having holidays is to relax and have a good time and yeah most the time it means forgetting the people at home and enjoying the people you're around.
oh that makes it alright then! don't matter, she was on holiday. different countries shouldn't make the **** free.
get rid
She had the guts to own up. Most people wouldn't. Leave the lass be. She knows she made a mistake, feels guilty enough about and regrets doing it. There's enough punishment there. And if as I said earlier he can forgive, where's the point in him cutting his nose off to spite his face?
im sorry for being so blunt but thats what i would do in your position. i wouldnt do it to my g/f so why should i expect to get it done to me. it'll be hard for you but she should have thought of you before doing it. tell her were to go...
Lol, you know what! England has the highest rate of cheaters in Europe
I'm glad to see the people of the site aren't apart of this! We are so above doing anything morally wrong here that we think our own shit doesn't sink!:p
I'm with big_man here. I understand how things can "just happen" between yourself and someone you're close to, but not how it can "just happen" between you and a complete stranger.
In my opinion, for her to do that, she wuold have ben progressivly getting closer and closer to him before she actually did it. Casual flirting I've nothing against - it's quite good fun, but if she was going to flirt, she should have had the decency to keep it under control, especially considering she had a boyfriend back home (you).
If you let her off with this one, there will not be anything stopping her doing it again. Plus, on a more selfish point of view, how are you going to trust her when she next goes on holiday?
Sorry if this sounds a little harsh, but she's got this one coming.
Drop her
Lol and now ya are kidding yaself hun. It's soo easy to get carreid away and led in a situation, especially when alcohol is part of it, no one is perfect and you can't expect everyone to be.
But mate. i've been in our position, forgiven all and everythings been great, rel just came to an end on it's own. I've done far less myself early on in a rel, never been forgiven by untrusting bastards and it's fucked everything and caused more pain. In the end you can ask us but everyones different so it's got to be what you feel most comfortable with.
1 Select target
2 chat target up
3 if target not impressed repeat step 1
4 ply her with drink
5 take her back to your room/the beach/the bar toilet - JACKPOT!
if i was a girl, and i was gonna cheat on my guy, i'd have to:
1 DONT SAY NO.
get me?
she owned up - fair enough. shame it's almost considered more acceptable for girls to cheat on holiday than guys. :mad:
then learn some self control. it's not difficult, if you say otherwise then you're weak of will and should try crack cocaine... it'll be a 'fun' experience for you.
its like your tryin to propagand everyone that cheatin can be ok.
do you not know how damaging it can be.
get rid dude, you most probly deserve better.
Hey I don't cheat. I just saying how easy it is to. Especially for females. There's a lot more temptation cos guys try it on all the time. Maybe you can start judging a lass for cheating when you've been in her shoes and been chatted up constantly by x amount of fellas all night.
I don't need new morals. I aint advocating cheating. I'm just saying go easy on her. She owned up, thats the hardest thing she's done there. Out of sight out of mind and all that. I'm just trying to give this lass some support. She knows she's done wrong and it's all well and good everyone slating her but just see things from her side as well.
And yes I do know how damaging it can be. Been there felt it, but it all depends on the person and how they react to it. personally I forgave and it never happened again cos he was sorry for his actions.
Thanks for all your replies, much appreciated.
The point above, I've found out it wasn't a complete stranger but the brother of the mate who she went on holiday with. This in my eyes made it a little worse as I thought it wouldn't be the last time she sees him but apparently he is off with the navy and doesn't live with his sister.
I've spent most of the weekend with the girl to see if I can handle what she has done and I've had a good weekend. Hopefully I can work through it with her and begin to trust her again.
I agree with what most of you have wrote (even big_man calling her a slut
wish sum1 had told me that a year ago!!!!:banghead: