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Fingering...help...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey, whenever my bf fingers me and i 'cum' he carries on fingerin me and it hurts, but i dont think he knows ive 'cum' as im not the nosiest person ever, atch i dont make noise, so i dont think theres anyway he can tell ive cum. in the end i have to tell him to stop and everytime he asks me why i just change the subject coz i feel weird telling him. but we dont always do just fingerin, sometimes he starts n then goes down on me or we end up having sex so its not an issue everytime.

anyone have any ideas on what i can do/say for next time, coz i think after a few more times he'll think something is more wrong then it is.

thanks xxx

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hrm, what I used to do, was take his hand, and sorta move it onto my tits, or, suck on his fingers. So..meh.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    make it more obvious lol ..we aint mind readers ...:P
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm 100% sure your bf wouldn't be upset to hear that he's made you cum. He might be going for so long because he's worried he can't make you cum and not telling you.

    Communication people!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sure he's just overeager to please, it's better than being selfish and caring not about whatever pleasure you get out of it.

    Either he'll become more experienced at noticing that special moment for you or you'll have to guide him to that conclusion. Just grab or move his hand a few times and he should start to link you stopping him to certain events or noises.

    It's not as obvious as it is when a male reaches climax, unless she's faking or you're having penetrative sex but he should pick it up soon enough. Oh, and no guy is EVER going to complain about you climaxing so you can tell him why you're stopping him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lol, Just tell him you've cum and it hurts to touch the clit. Tell him he can cuddle or play with your tits

    He'll understand. Don't lie or change the subject!! (He may wonder why you never told him sooner, be honest and say you didn't know how to tell him!)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Fingering...help...
    Originally posted by Strawberry Tart
    everytime he asks me why i just change the subject coz i feel weird telling him.

    I've said it before and I'll say it again. If your big enough and old enough to do these things then you should be able to talk about them with your partner. As already stated it's about communication.

    What if he was to stick a finger up your bum and you didn't like it? Would you not tell him cause your embaressed. Talk to him. You'll probably find he'll be all :D :D :) :D :D to know that he's made you cum.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    don't be embarrassed to tell him, he'll be proud to know he's made you cum

    you need to talk about things like that, you'll feel closer by talking/sharing stuff that's personal.

    if you're embarrassed to tell him straight away, find a time when you're not intimate, say when you're having a walk in the park and bring up the subject then.

    or

    "OHMYGODI'MCUMMINNNNNNNGGGGGG!!!" might help lol

    that way he'll definetely know :-)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Fingering...help...
    Originally posted by Strawberry Tart
    Hey, whenever my bf fingers me and i 'cum' he carries on fingerin me and it hurts, but i dont think he knows ive 'cum' as im not the nosiest person ever, atch i dont make noise, so i dont think theres anyway he can tell ive cum. in the end i have to tell him to stop and everytime he asks me why i just change the subject coz i feel weird telling him. but we dont always do just fingerin, sometimes he starts n then goes down on me or we end up having sex so its not an issue everytime.

    anyone have any ideas on what i can do/say for next time, coz i think after a few more times he'll think something is more wrong then it is.

    thanks xxx

    just tell him. (as everyone else has said here). i'm the same, it hurts a lot after. so i juust move my attention onto him. :)

    he'll thank you for saying it and not sticking it out just cuz you didn't want to upset him. he wants to make you happy...so let him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're a lucky girl! My ex couldnt make me cum when he was fingering me! Tell him, he will be thrilled!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i would just like to say ' durr!' wen you cum your vaginal muscles sqeeuze, and unless your really loose so he cant tell your cumming and contracting he should be able to notice. Why dont you tell him what happens when you come so he knows you have and also tell him it hurts afterwards. I thought most blokes knew that. Oh well, thats one illusion shattered.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just tell him! Say 'I've already come so it's really sensitive now.' Eight words that might seem hard to say if you're embarrassed but really are worth saying.

    Either that or make sure you make enough noise for him to notice himself ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's so annoying for blokes when having sex, oral, or just fingering a girl, when the girl doesn't say if she has cum or not. If she doesn't tell you, you carry on afterwards and then they get annoyed at you hurting them, and if you think they have cum when they haven;t, they get annoyed 'cause you have broken the rhythm. If they just say it would make it so much easier AND so much more satisfying knowing that you have made her cum!

    So just tell him "I have cum" obviously in a more sexy kinda way than just that, and then concentrate on making him cum!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You've got to tell him about it. He may not realise you've cum. Not every girl is noisy, or suddenly gets incredibly wet, so you have to tell him.
    He obviously wants to please and pleasure you, so if you're uncomfortable you have to tell him. I'm sure he will be happy to know, and stop in the future.

    Mr_Wobble ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok when u come youn dont have to scream but why not moan a little hell know hes doing something right then. when ur finished then just say to him "oh my god that was fantastic ive cum, give me a cuddle" or something like that. :) Never be embarresed to tell him cos like the one thing guys love the most (well this one) is that their girl can say anything to them and trusts them with it you know?

    It's not like he's going to say 'oh sorry, i didnt mean to :blush:' and never ever do it again is it? :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You should try to learn to tell him that u are going to cum, he would love to hear it.

    Its a massive turn on to know your partner is about to cum. :D

    It sounds like he cares that you enjoy it, so i think he would be happy if you told him.

    Also it's not so nice to leave it too long, then tell him eventually that he's been hurting you all this time, it's better to tell him sooner than later.

    I'm sure it will bring you closer too. :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    'Cause my boyfriend and I are long distance, when we chat on MSN, then we'll get turned on, and we'll masturbate. So when one of us is done masturbating, we'll type "Done." and the other person does the same when they've finished. So when he fingers me for real, and I've cum... Even though when I cum I 'shake' a lot so he does already know, and I usually touch him or kiss him while he fingers me, and whatever I'm doing, I just stop doing when I'm cumming, so he knows because of that too... But still, when I've cum, I'll whisper to him "Done" and though he usually whispers back "I know". It's still a nice way of letting him know even though he already knew... If that makes sense.

    So yeah... You can talk to him about it and think of something like our "Done" thing (when we're having sex, he'll tell me when he's done too.) or you can touch/kiss him while he fingers you and stop when you're cumming and he'll know.
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