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getting engaged.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
does anyone else think that people just don't value marriage anymore?

there's an awful lot of people getting engaged young (like 18 or 19) only to break it of a year or two later. point?

i can't really talk, cause i was engaged at 19, which wasn't the best idea i've ever had.

now i've found a guy i actually want to spend the rest of my life with, and i'm worried that all my family are going to be all 'oh, not again'.

i'm 22. am i still too young?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was engaged at twenty, I've just turned 23 & am still going to wait for a while. My fella knows not to try to propose - I want to make sure it's for keeps the next time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am a firm believer than you won't get far in life unless you take risks. Yes, it might not work out and you might become upset and whatnot, but if you don't try you will never know.

    In terms of getting engaged, I would wait until I knew for sure that I want to genuinely spend my life with her. If I was happy and the like, I would probably go for it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hmmmmm i don't really believe in getting engaged unless you're gonna actually go ahead and set a date....too many people get engaged and unengaged too easily I feel

    aw i dunno :rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think too many people rush into marriage nowadays. Maybe because divorce is so much easier. Two people in my year at school have got engaged. They're 15 ffs :eek2: Apparently, they're going to do it 'properly' when they're 17 and do the whole 'down on one knee' thing, but even so, 17 is still young in my opinion. They say its just a sign of commitment...I say Bollocks. Wishing they're lives away at my age :|
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    People tend to get engaged when they've been going out a while even though they have no intention of getting married. Then like you say, they stay engaged for a year or 2 then split up. It's dumb! I personally am only going to be engaged while I prepare for my wedding, no stupid long engagements for me. Either you're just going out or you're married, inbetween is just silly :yes: :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Young and sexy
    I think too many people rush into marriage nowadays. Maybe because divorce is so much easier. Two people in my year at school have got engaged. They're 15 ffs :eek2: Apparently, they're going to do it 'properly' when they're 17 and do the whole 'down on one knee' thing, but even so, 17 is still young in my opinion. They say its just a sign of commitment...I say Bollocks. Wishing they're lives away at my age :|
    15 is far too young! They'll change. People always change as they go through their teenage years. Until that's over, it's really not worth it because it won't last.

    I'm sure everyone on here knows that I'm a firm believer in marriage and its importance. I have noticed that people don't seem to believe in it as much anymore. I guess peolpe just see it as a technicallity, or a piece of paper, but I see it as a union between two lovers - the ultimate connection.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Skateside
    15 is far too young! They'll change. People always change as they go through their teenage years. Until that's over, it's really not worth it because it won't last.
    Yeh i know. I just think its quite sad really. I mean, if your older, mature enough and you intend to get married, then getting engaged is fine while you preare for the wedding etc. But just getting engaged because you've been together 2 years or whatever totally ruins the whole aspect of engagement.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :blush: when i was 14/15 my boyfriend of the time (he was long term) proposed to me, i thought it was sooo romantic at the time and we said we'd get married lol but we broke up almost 2 years ago now...i think at that ages it just i duno just something u do, makes u feel grown up kinda thing, i cant really explain
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Forgot to add that engagement should lead onto marriage, which should be a life-long partnership.

    I don't think it's fair to say 'you're XYZ - it's far too young!' because it's all very personal. If you both think you're ready for this commitment and are happy to spend your life with one another, then you should do it even if you think you are 'too young'. Of course, it's just stupid if you're 15 or something.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont think its too young at all. i was engaged at 17 and 18. granted it didn't work out, but when you feel the way you do about somebody how you want to spend the rest of your life with them, you cant foresee the weird cirmstances that may corrupt it. and i doubt they will come either. once you feel it, i dont thing how young or old you are matters.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't see the point in getting engaged if you don't fully intend to get married. I mean, long engagements are fair enough, if you genuinely do intend to get married. What's the point otherwise? What changes?

    I know a couple I went to school with who got engaged when they were 15. It turned out a few weeks later that she was pregnant. They split up shortly after the baby was born, but they might be back together now, I'm not sure.. but I do believe they did/do fully intend to get married.

    But yes...if you don't intend to get married, there really is no point in engagement in my opinion.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Lil Laura

    But yes...if you don't intend to get married, there really is no point in engagement in my opinion.

    People get engaged without intending to get married? That don't make one bit of sense.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Faith
    People tend to get engaged when they've been going out a while even though they have no intention of getting married. Then like you say, they stay engaged for a year or 2 then split up. It's dumb! I personally am only going to be engaged while I prepare for my wedding, no stupid long engagements for me. Either you're just going out or you're married, inbetween is just silly :yes: :p

    that's exactly how i feel - i want my engagement to do what it is, in my opinion, supposed to - get me ready for my wedding. i've been with my bloke for 5 years now and we've talked about the topic of engagement. he doesn't see any problem with getting engaged now, but i would at least want to be living with him first!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my brother got engadged last september after going with the girl for two months, completely out of his character, she only 16 (17 end of october)and heel be 19. hes only ever had a few grlfrends and its so strange hes with her shes a bit of a tart, went with his best frend b4 and now my brother doesnt spk to him they were frends gor 18 years. we dont harldly see my bro anymore which really upsets my mum. he stays at her house all the time. i can see them breakin it up within the next year when she grows up. ave been with my bf for a year and a haf and no way would i consider getting engadged yet am way to young.
    engagement is for two people that both feel love between them and have been throuh ups and downs.
    do you notice though its mostly tinks who get engaged young and have kids.
    hope this doesnt happen to my bro i dont want him to ruin his life and the end up fighting for custody of there kids.
    save engadgement for when you know its the one, youl appreciate it in the long run.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what if you do fully intend to get married in a year or two and you know definitely, definitely definitely that this guy is the one?

    i just don't want my family to be critical, because i've been engaged before.


    having said that, i keep getting the 'i was married at your age' from my mum, so i don't think she'd have a problem with it.

    i know everyone's going to say 'do what you want and not what your family wants' but my family are really important to me and i really do care what they think.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you really love this guy and are determined to stay together, go for it. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Faith
    People tend to get engaged when they've been going out a while even though they have no intention of getting married. Then like you say, they stay engaged for a year or 2 then split up. It's dumb! I personally am only going to be engaged while I prepare for my wedding, no stupid long engagements for me. Either you're just going out or you're married, inbetween is just silly :yes: :p
    That's exactly what I see all the time. It just seems so pointless. Then again, I still see marriage as a bit pointless. Maybe I'll change my attitude in the future, but for now I think marriage, and therefore engagement, is pointless too.

    Hey, I know that breaks some of you girls hearts to know that the Wobbler isn't up for marriage, but that's the way it is I'm affraid. :D

    Mr_Wobble ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Mr_Wobble
    Hey, I know that breaks some of you girls hearts to know that the Wobbler isn't up for marriage, but that's the way it is I'm affraid. :D

    *sob*
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