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Affairs - To Tell or Not To Tell?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Lets say you are in a steady long term relationship or marriage and for the first time ever you cheat on your partner .. youre sorry it ever happened and promise yourself it's NEVER gonna happen again.
Do you tell your partner or keep it a secret for the rest of your life?
Give your answer and reasoning behind it and also state if you're Male or Female if it's not obvious from your name or in your profile.
Do you tell your partner or keep it a secret for the rest of your life?
Give your answer and reasoning behind it and also state if you're Male or Female if it's not obvious from your name or in your profile.
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If, however, I thought that it could happen again then I would get out of the relationship, but still wouldn't tell my partner about cheating because I wouldn't want to hurt them.
Agreed.
I wouldn't tell them if it was like a one time thing if it happened when I was completely wasted or anything.
However, once I start feeling a NEED for other people, I have to get out of the relationship or tell my partner my problem to try and get it fixed...
That's just the way I see it
I know its a bit heartless but what he doesn't know won't hurt him.
Ahh, I probably shouldn't be answering this...
I'd rather I was told - I wouldn't trust them as much but we'd pull through it. Depending on how often it happened...
As for me cheating on someone, well, hahaha I'm so ugly nobody would cheat on any partner of mine with me But, if I did anything I would tell her. I'd just hope that my honesty would save the relationship...
So it didn't indirectly hurt him by having the affair in the first place? Does this not suggest that you don't like him as much as first thought? If not, why go off with someone else?
Do you not deserve this?
Would this not somehow affect your relationship? You might not be acting as normal because of your suffering, which might be picked up upon and thus could quite easily affect your relationship.
Perhaps you should have thought before you acted.
And rightly so!
You all seem to be ignoring the seriousness of cheating and the reasons behind having the affair. Perhaps you should all consider these factors before making "...one silly mistake..." and indeed think about the potential consequences beforehand. If you truly loved someone and was happy with this person, why cheat and thus risk your relationship? Perhaps it is because you know you won't be caught - a pretty sad attitude, I think.
Yes Mr Mobily :rolleyes:
so i wouldnt tell.
but then i wouldnt cheat.
i think.
But why would you have cheated in the first place?
Don't love him/her?
Don't care about him/her?
An easy opportunity and you know you won't get caught?
Bored?
I think it's best to do something about your relationship instead of having affairs!
If u loved somebody you couldnt cheat and thats it.
so if you find yourself cheating you dont love them!
And if you think that keeping it to yourself is best as long as you dont get found out then what's to stop you doing it again? as you obviously dont love them anyway...
However after a few hours thought I realised one key thing, if she ever did find out what had happened and that I'd lied then it would DEFINATELY be the end of "us"...so I came clean.
Sure it was rocky and messy for a few months after, but we talked through it and found out a lot about ourselves as a couple. She forgave me and things sorted themselves out, I made the right choice.
We split up like 6 months later, totally un-related mind you (would I give you bad advice?? ), but those last 6 months it never came up once, she truely forgave me.
At the end of the day I'd always go with honesty. Sure some people still might split up with you even if you come clean, but if they are not able to forgive do you really want to be with them anyway?
Hope my ramblings helped
It might not have come up in 6 months after discussing it BUT I bet she thought about it at least once every day after that.
Nope, come on...