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Confused

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
hey

im a bit confused at the moment theres this girl who i like and she likes me but the only thing that is stoppin me being wiv her is that she gets down and does harm to her self.
but i really like her wen shes happy but wen shes down she tells me like how upset shes is and i cant deal wiv it.

what do u think i should do go out wiv her or not ???:rolleyes:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey :wave: welcome to TheSite.

    I feel for you here, it must be quite tough if you don't know how to deal with this girl's problems, and of course you shouldn't *have* to - but life is unfair. If you want to go out with her, you should realise that she isn't always happy and cheerful and she does have problems, so don't expect her to put on a brave face for your sake, nor put her under pressure to do so.

    The long and the short of it is, if you can't deal with it, don't go out with her - neither of you will be happy. If, on the other hand, you really do like her and are willing to make the effort to try to deal with it, then try not to let it stop you :) don't try to become her only shoulder to cry on though and take on the whole burden - be there for her when she needs you but don't let her drag you down; trust me, that's never a good thing for either of you.

    Umm I don't know how helpful I've been but I hope you sort it out :) good luck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What I think, is that if you two like each other, then there is no reason why you can't go out with her. But the thing about her being down = everyone is down sometimes, and if you are going to be her boyfriend, a big part of her life, you are going to need to be able to support her. You can't just switch off. You have to be the one who's there to hug her, the one who's there to look after her, the one who's there to make her feel loved and special.

    If you can manage that then you'll be the perfect boyfriend :)

    Good luck m8
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by TheShyBoyInTheCorner
    What I think, is that if you two like each other, then there is no reason why you can't go out with her. But the thing about her being down = everyone is down sometimes, and if you are going to be her boyfriend, a big part of her life, you are going to need to be able to support her. You can't just switch off. You have to be the one who's there to hug her, the one who's there to look after her, the one who's there to make her feel loved and special.
    :yes: Well said shyboy :) that's kind of what I was trying to say except I just rambled a bit much! :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by TheShyBoyInTheCorner
    you are going to need to be able to support her. You can't just switch off. You have to be the one who's there to hug her, the one who's there to look after her, the one who's there to make her feel loved and special.

    Yes, but surely every relationship requires support, understanding and commitment from both sides? Surely all of these, if carried out, show that you care a great deal which every partner in every relationship should do? Is this not an integral part of a relationship? Surely both partners should be there to listen and to help one another whenever needed? Is this not an fundamental aspect of a relationship?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stay well clear!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you two get together, you have just gotta realise that this girl has 'problems'. My bestfreind is with a girl just like that and now he feels like the problems are his, which makes me feel sorry for him because he has his own probs and then hers on top of it aswell! Wot if things didnt work between the two of you, would you have the heart to let her go, knowing that you might be the cause of some self harm? i guess not.
    I would become really good freinds with her, without the commitment part and help her through these problems. She needs to see someone about it, as that will help loads.
    But obviously the choice is yours because you may get together and you might help her overcome her problems.
    Just make sure you know what you want before you dive in!
    Good luck
    :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by ravemunky
    stay well clear!

    That isnt a very nice thing to say.

    I think you should go for it if you both like each other. Why should it get in the way if she harms herself. It would probly help her if she had your support when she is fealing down. And hey maybe if she was going out with you and she really liked you then she would feal down so often.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh and welcome to theSite! :wave:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Mobily's Ghost
    Yes, but surely every relationship requires support, understanding and commitment from both sides? Surely all of these, if carried out, show that you care a great deal which every partner in every relationship should do? Is this not an integral part of a relationship? Surely both partners should be there to listen and to help one another whenever needed? Is this not an fundamental aspect of a relationship?

    isn't that what i said? :confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by TheShyBoyInTheCorner
    isn't that what i said? :confused:

    Yeah, pretty much mate. I was just adding to it. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Mobily's Ghost
    Yeah, pretty much mate. I was just adding to it. :)

    i was just confused because you said 'but' which implies you are going to contradict what i said, yet you didn't :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by TheShyBoyInTheCorner
    i was just confused because you said 'but' which implies you are going to contradict what i said, yet you didn't :p

    lol, I just wanted to point out that obviously support is a big part of a relationship. Nothing else.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just stick close to her if things are meant to be they will be
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