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Should I tell them?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Me and my boyfriend got engaged a couple of months ago but I'm worried about telling my parents. I've no idea how they will react but usually they don't react well to stuff like this.
We have been together for almost 2 years now, i am 18 and he is 21. If they do react badly it'll be for one of them reason - either because I'm too young or because we haven't been together long enough.
I want to tell them just to get it over with, also so we can arrange to have an engagement party and stuff.
What would you do? Tell them and just see what happens or wait a bit and try figure out how they would react, maybe ask them questions relating to it.
Do you think were too young or that we haven't been together long enough?
I'm just trying to get a few opinions before i decide what i should do.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tell them,they might be happy for you,and if they react badly and your serious about this bloke stick to your guns.
    they wont want to see theyre kid get married and not be be part of it hopefully
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if you have already done it they gonna be mad! tell them. sooner the better.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tell them.

    Trust me, it'll save a lot of hassle.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tell them! and if they don't like it try and explain to them why you want to get married now. and if they still dont like it...run. :eek2:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you are adult enough to get engaged (and presumably married) then you and HE should be adult enough to tell them.. I suggest you BOTH go and tell them, or better still get HIM to go and tell them. They have met him haven't they?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by morrocan roll
    if you have already done it they gonna be mad! tell them. sooner the better.

    I agree. They might approve or they might disapprove, but until you tell them you will not know. So I suggest doing it asap and if they don't like it, tough; you are an adult so you do not need their blessing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tell them. You have to let them know sooner or later, and the sooner the better i think, otherwise they may think you were hiding it from them etc and then have reason to react badly. You never know, hopefully they'll be ok about it and be happy for you. If not, then prove to them that you and your boyfriend are serious, and they may come round eventually. Dont give up!

    Good luck, keep us posted on how it goes :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeh thinkg about it - if you dont tell them for a while, and then tell them, they'd be pissed off you hadnt told them sooner! either way you aint really gonna win. Id get it 'over with' and just remember its a happy time for you both and you should be celebrating, You've already left it a couple of months, i think they may be slightly miffed that you werent 'happy enough' to tell them - they are your parents.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by badabing
    they are your parents.
    unless they scream we should never have adopted you"
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by morrocan roll
    unless they scream we should never have adopted you"

    well...true :yes:

    :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by morrocan roll
    unless they scream we should never have adopted you"
    LMAO :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Should I tell them?
    Originally posted by sexy little thing

    Do you think were too young or that we haven't been together long enough?

    i'm gonna get hell for this.

    but, if i had a pound for every failed engagement i knew about where the people have been under 25, i'd be a very rich lady.

    YES sometimes people get engaged and married young, and it works. my mother never fails to remind me that she was engaged at 19 and married at 21. she's been with my dad 30 years now.

    sometimes it works. but most of the time it doesn't.

    my advice would be to wait, at least a couple of years. if you want to spend the rest of your lives together it shouldn't be a problem.
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    JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    Tell em, best to get it out of the way before it gets messy.

    "Super, Super Leeds, Super Leeds Rhinnno's" Roll on Saturday :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: Should I tell them?
    Originally posted by legal junkie

    sometimes it works. but most of the time it doesn't.


    to be fair tho... hardly any marriages seem to last anymore
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: Re: Should I tell them?
    Originally posted by badabing
    hardly any marriages seem to last anymore
    'Cos half the people nowadays (younger generation) seem to think, "Ah well, I'll marry him and if it doesnt work out, we'll just get a divorce" :rolleyes: :mad:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh i dunno, my parents were well into their twenties when they married and had us, yet my dad left after 22 years.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its all the fashion now dont you know! :yeees:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My parents got married at 19. They've been married 27 years. Maybe thats quite a rarity then?
    Do you think were too young or that we haven't been together long enough?
    Only you can decide that really. If your old enough and feel ready then go for it. I dont think we can judge whether your ready or not. Good luck anyway :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tell them, the longer you wait the worse it will be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Who knows they might be happy for you, once all the steam has blown over!!!

    Good Luck ,and keep us posted on what happens!!!;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When I/we told my future mother in law we wanted to get married, she said 'oh dear' about a hundred time (we were 21/22). We had decided we were going to get married about 6 mths before and kept it secret - that was about our commitment to each other and it didn't matter that no one else knew. (8 years down the line we have no regrets...)
    Are you in a rush to get married? or is your engagement a statement of commitment and future hopes/plans? I'm not suggesting you should be 'engaged' for years - that’s just daft. 2 years is a long time to be in a relationship, if your parents haven't figured out that you are serious - now’s the time to tell them!
    Good luck - I'm sure it will work out for the best and as rockerchick said - stick to your guns.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: Re: Should I tell them?
    Originally posted by badabing
    to be fair tho... hardly any marriages seem to last anymore

    :yes: good point!
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